A
female
age
51-59,
*unnie
writes:HiI have been dating this guy for 2 years, living together for 6 months. His bisexual. We have never had the honeymoon stage, he has never seemed to chase me for sex. I thought this was odd and found out he web cams to men and mastubates to porn everyday. When i moved in i thought things would be better, it has only made things clearer. Hardly any sex at all. Only when i ask for it, and if its 3 days in a row he tells me i am needy. I am 8 years younger, slim and have a healthy sex drive. I am always bringing it up my need for sex, he tells me i am a nympho. So how is it he is not horny in the morning but soon as i am out the door for work his masterbating to porn or watching people on web cam. I have put key loggers on his computer and found he has pretty much web cam with guys all thru our relationship. I have brought this up and he says its his release with out the real thing. He never gives me oral sex or touches me in a loving way. I have web camed with him, tried 3 some's with a bi guy and it has not worked. Help i am ready to leave.
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female
reader, kih88  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 I've heard about relationships where one partner gets upset with the other for being a bit too invested in porn instead of their actual relationship, and this seems legitimate to me. If you feel uncomfortable and upset that your bf getting himself off on porn as much as he is, talk to him about it and explain to him that you're getting the impression that he's more turned on by that than you and that it's really normal or fair in a relationship.
As far as the other males on webcam, I'm not sure about the nature of those webcam viewings--are those pornographic too? Whether they are or not, I don't think its fair that he's spending as much time as he is with them, saying that its so he can get "release without the real thing." If you are in a monogamous boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where you should be fully invested in each other, he should only need to get his release with you. Any other person or people shouldn't factor into that equation, otherwise it's kind of cheating. Depending on how you compromise, you might allow him some porn--straight up porn is basically just alternate wank material for him, which is not as much as a crime as webcam viewings and chats where he's interacting with another person. That is wrong, I think.
Definitely re-evaluate your relationship and lay down the law more with your boyfriend. It's not wrong of you to approach him to fulfill your sexual needs. If he ever turns you down, it should be because he's tired or is just the type of person that doesn't want to have sex very often, but if he's turning you down because he's getting his jollies elsewhere, you should try to talk to him and get to the bottom of why that is.
A
female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 wow.it sound like he doesnt care about you.keep trying though.it wont be easY giving up but the way he is acting is not cool.if you feel unhappy you should leave.maybe he might come back to you changd and all.gd luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): As a married bisexual man I think I have a lot of experience to share. First of all you must realize that his sexuality is not by choice but rather genetics. My wife knows of my bisexuality but we have some unwritten rules.
A. I would never let my bisexuality become public knowlege and embarrass her.
B. She will never witness my having sex with another man as jealousy could set in.
C. My wife and children, in all cases, comes first and formost.
D. My brother-in-law who is married to my sister and I go hunting every fall and have a wild time sexually with each other.
Since my job takes me out of town at least a few times a month, my sexual activites with men are limited to those times when I am away from home. These not only entail having sex with other men in my hotel room but also, like your boyfriend, having cam sex with other men over the internet.
There is a large propunderance of married men like myself who have sex with other men, but remained married and very much in love with thier wife. I love my wife very much and have no regrets that I married her over 40 years ago.
Having said all this it's now time for me to address your particular question. I feel you need to decide for yourself what you want in a relationship and more importantly in your marriage. If you are willing to allow him to address his sexual needs on a strictly confidential basis such as I address my own personal needs, then continue the relationsip. If on the other hand you can not handle his sexual need to be with men as well as with you, then you should terminate the relationship. Just remember that NO ONE PERSON, other than yourself is responsible for YOUR happiness. My wife made her choice and to my knowledge has never regreted it. We have 3 wonderful bright and intellegent children and 5 grandchildren from our marriage. My wife has always been a housewife caring for our children and myself, while I have worked and provided our family with a good income, home and most importantly plenty of love. We invested a lot of time in our children.
Make up your mind as to what you want in life, talk to your partner your needs in an open and honest way. My wife for instance has nver once talked to me about my bisexuality and therefore I have never given her cause to worry about our personal relationship and have always practiced safe sex wiht all of my male sexual partners.
Best of luck with whatever decision you make on this matter.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): I am sorry to hear that but to me it sounds like he is gay and using you to mask it.
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A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 some gay guys seem to like having a woman around so others wont suspect they are gay.
and to do the housework and help with finances etc.
get out now. you are worth so much more than this guy will give you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): Ur guy is more into men then women so you need to accept that. You're not equipped for him or you haven't ask him to let you use a strap on for his desires. You can never change him thrugh sex because like you he wants a penis too. I think you should open your relationship where you two invite others that can full your needs or end this.
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A
male
reader, Koolade +, writes (10 October 2010):
 The absolute honest truth is that he is not bi anymore. He is homosexual. If her only talks to men and masturbates to homosexual porn then he is no longer sexualy attracted to women. Especially if he won't kiss you or hug you in a loving boyfriend girlfriend way.
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