A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 3 1/2 years and have been living together for 2 1/2. We get on like a house on fire we are a good team we make each other laugh basically we just get on with it. I want to get married one day but he thinks whats the point we both know we love each other. Our relationship has reached a point where nothing is happening it's got a bit boring but thats life. I'm always trying to do things with him like go out and party but he always says no. I went away with my friends and came back and said i wanted to take it to the next level and he didn't respond. A few days went by and he was acting off so i asked him whats the matter and he said he didn't think he lvoed me anymore and that he didn't know if he wanted this (mortagage). He left for a few days and came back and said sorry. Ever since then my head has been all over the place. Some other guy showed interest and it made me feel special again. I don't udnerstand what i am doing anymore. My partner says he loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life and that he would get married to me as that what i want but i just do not know. Has anyone been here before? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Thanks for your response.
The past few months has been a real rollercoaster for us. He is trying bless him but now i'm finding things that did not annoy me annoy me. As we both like shopping decided to go for the day and i wanted to jump out the car he was doing my head in. Pulling faces at me shouting clapping for no reason. He shows signs of having a bit of ADHD so this outburst of energy is normal but i'm finding it very hard to cope with. He also has OCD when it comes to cleaning and gets on my case i.e. i had a few busy days with work and ended up getting in late i jucked my clothes on the dresser and went to bed woke up next morning and hes on my case saying these can't stay here. Over the years he always said no one can clean like me apart from his mum. I feel a bit of a prisoner in my own home. I feel like i am forced to clean otherwise he won't be pleased.
All these things are slowy getting on top of me and i'm worried soon i will explode
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Ok it sounds to me like when you said to your boyfriend that you wanted to take things to another level he got scared of commitment, its completely normal for a guy in his twenties to act like this, he probably just ran as it made him question himself about wether he loves you or not because it probably worried him because he got scared of a big commitment like marriage or a mortgage to pay, but it does sound like he loves you.
But you need to tell him that you cant go on like this anymore, tell him you dont want to rush in to marriage that you will wait until he is ready, but that you want to be able to do more things as a couple like going out for dinner or going clubbing or out with friends, even things like going bowling or going to the movies, do things together that you both enjoy tell him he needs to make the effort because you are feeling neglected. You got excited about this other guy because even though you love your boyfriend he was new to you and probably in your head offering all these things that your boyfriend doesnt give to you anymore, forget about this guy though and work on things with your boyfriend, he has just got himself in to a habit and doesnt want to make the effort any more but tell him that he needs to start or you are going to end up getting bored and leaving. Goodluck.
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