Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): I kind of understand his point of view. You may really care about a person but how do you know if you are really compatible? Sex plays a huge roll in any healthy long term relationship. What if the sex is horrible? It has happened to me before. I really cared about a woman and we waited to take it to the next level. We were so incompatible physically that we both knew it was over after the painful go at it. Anyone who says sex and love isn't connected is trying to fool themselves into believing in the boring relationship there in is not doomed to fail or plod along miserably.
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male
reader, rivi  +, writes (31 July 2010):
Of course he wants to 'get into your pants' . Isn't that what all normal teenage boys want to do with their gfs? I bet you wouldn't like it if he told you ( or if someone else told you ) that he didn't find you sexually attractive !
I think the question you have to ask yourself is not 'Will he love me if I let him? ' - it's, irrespective of the 'love' side of things - 'Do I want to have sex with him ?'
He is aching to enjoy sex with you and get the most intimate a male can get with a female. If you feel the same way then why not enjoy it ( taking all the necessary precautions such as condoms / pill whatever ).
If YOU don't want to have sex with him at this moment then don't. [ Btw I'm assuming you're old enough for sex to be legal in your state ?]
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female
reader, Carina1993  +, writes (31 July 2010):
Hahahaha!! Got to be one of the oldest (desperate & manipulative) tricks in the book. He sounds immature and unworthy
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): It's called 'loving somebody' for a reason. Not 'loving somebody because we had sex'.
Loving somebody is loving them as a person. It is a feeling you have for somebody.
I'm afraid him having sex with you isn't going to instantly love you. Just doesn't work that way, you either love someone, or you don't.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 July 2010):
Of course he's using you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): You don't want to take our advice. "If you play with fire you're going to get burned". Have sex with him then and see what happens.
NightFairy
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand it seems that way but he's been my friend for 2 years and he's like me for 1, he's cousin's are the ones that told me he liked me. We both share the same group of friends at school, he does REALLY LIKE ME!. We've been going out for 7 moths, I was just wondering if for some reason he thinks sex means commitment. If I ask him about it, he says same same reason that you feel you need to love someone first, it's just a feeling. Is there a reason he feels like this ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand it seems that way but he's been my friend for 2 years and he's like me for 1, he's cousin's are the ones that told me he liked me. We both share the same group of friends at school, he does REALLY LIKE ME!. We've been going out for 7 moths, I was just wondering if for some reason he thinks sex means commitment. If I ask him about it, he says same same reason that you feel you need to love someone first, it's just a feeling. Is there a reason he feels like this ?
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male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (30 July 2010):
 Hahaha! That's the crappiest line I've EVER heard!!! THINK about it, honey . . .
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (30 July 2010):
Having sex with him will almost certainly NOT get him to love you. More likely, he'll say say something like, "Well, we had sex and it was good but it was just sex. Guess I'm still looking for a girl I can love.".
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (30 July 2010):
The ladies are right! He loves sex, not the person he is having it with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question i know it sounds that way .... but ...... I am his first long term girlfriend. And He's been one of my best friends for two years. He has been head over heels for me for a year and we have now been dating for 7 months. I asked his and my friend about it and he said that he has yet to love someone, and his cousins are like sex gods kindda thing. But i was wondering if there are other reasons he may feel this way.
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (30 July 2010):
 It sounds very very thin. cocoqueen has it right. It's a bright red flag for this relationship.
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male
reader, escribanus  +, writes (30 July 2010):
 Tell hum that her hand would be a better sex toy than you. Even better tell him not to be so cheap, that there are a lot of proffesional on that area that will hel him in exchange of some money.
Dear do nor beg for love, a guy who deserves you to love him would never put conditions to love you. You love or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): Probably he is thinking that if sex with you isn't that great he can just tell you that e "can't" love you or something like that. If you are a virgin don't give it up just for this.
NightFairy
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): I'm afraid I have to agree. Sounds to me like he's just after one thing.
Don't fall for his games.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010):
He might not be intentionally using you but the result is the same. He's still sending the message "if you love me you'll have sex with me" in some form.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 July 2010):
 listen to cocoqueen. he's so full of it. ALL he wants is to get in your pants!
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female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (30 July 2010):
 He's feeding you a bunch of bull. either that or he hasn't really learned how to love somebody. don't have sex with him just because you want him to love you.
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