A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. What to do when your boyfriend of almost 3 years stops having sex with you, doesn't talk to you like that anymore, ignores your calls/texts, acts like he doesn't want you around, constantly lies about little simple things, rarely spends times with you, and just completely acts like a total jackass? I'm dealing with this kind of guy and it's tearing me apart. I'm doing nothing but trying to work things out and keep us together but i'm doing it alone and it's not working. I've been trying to keep this relationship up for almost 3 years alone and throughtout those, almost 3 years, i've been cheated on 5 times, i've been disrespected (this continues), i've been lied to numerous of times (this continues as well), we fight, argue a lot, and when we're around each other it's an awkward silence. When i spend the night with him, he sleeps with a separate cover and turn the opposite away from me. Also, i was texting him a lot yesterday trying to figure out why is he continuing with this behaviour towards me when quite frankly i haven't did anything wrong but love him. I feel like he's cheating. No response as always. I'm tired of crying and being hurt, but I really love him and i will do anything for him but he won't do it for me. This guy has my heart but it's hard to let go because i dont' wanna see him with no one else and i really and truly love him. I'm just hurt to the bottom of my heart.I wanna move on but it's hard! Any suggestions please! I gladly appreciate you guys! Sorry so long!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2011): you don't love him, you're just afraid to be without him or without a relationship so you're clinging to him. You can't love someone who treats you badly. you can be attached to the goal of getting him to turn into the prince charming you want. you may be afraid to end the relationship because of fear of being alone. but don't believe that you love him. Once you realize and admit this, you will have more clarity on what you should do.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (25 November 2011):
He is too much of a coward to break things off with you, so he is cruelly trying to show you the relationship is over (and has been for awhile) through his actions.
Please try to find the inner strength to break up with him and move forward in life.
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A
female
reader, kandykane +, writes (25 November 2011):
I just got out of this kind of relationship. I promise everything will be fine. But you gotta let him go, as hard as that is. When you finally do it, you'll feel relieved, trust me. I spent so much time trying to figure out what was wrong with me, when really it was him. He isnt mature enough to handle a relationship, and that thought of being with someone forever probably scares him. Why stay with him, when someone else is probably ready for what hes running from. You are a woman and he is still a boy. Dont waste anymore time on guys like this, they will drain until theres nothing left and then move on like its nothing. Save yourself. Worry about you. He is a leech.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (24 November 2011):
 You may love him to death but in the end you have to love yourself and kick him to the curb. From the sounds of it you just need to drop him and never talk to him again. I know this is way easier to say then it is to do but I am sorry to say that you don't really deserve the easy way out now. You have been given a rather large amount of reasons to leave him so it comes down to the fact that it is your fault you are still upset which means it is your job to fix yourself.
This probably sounds harsh but it is true. You need to stop crying about a dead relationship and stand up for yourself because you deserve better then this guy.
The way I see it is that you love him like an addict loves their drugs. The thing they love will kill them eventually and kicking it is hard but it has to been done. Your tears are better off being spent on crying over the break up rather then on him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): Not only is he treating you badly, but he doesn't have enough respect to even give you an explanation for his behaviour, he's just leaving you in limbo, which is worse than the truth (in the long run anyway) you need to be strong, independent and show him that you're worth more than this. Don't be nice to him, tell him clearly that you have had enough, and that you deserve more, grab your girlfriends and have a good time! If he is worth his salt he'll realise what he's missing, but chances are once you get out there, you won't be missing him, good luck girl!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 November 2011):
 What do you do? It's simple: you dump his sorry self, forget all about "loving him" - he doesn't deserve it and YOU need to treat yourself with more self-respect!
Hard or not, steel yourself, make up your mind to cut ALL contact, and don't look back!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 November 2011):
Let me really ask you a question.
Why do you really allow yourself to be treated so badly? See, I don't think you love him. I think you're desperate to be loved, and I think you're massively underconfident. I don't see anything here that suggests you actually love each other. I just see you clinging, and him treating you like crap. You know full well that you're too good for him, and that he is a shit. Yet, clearly there is some problem that you are unable to get rid of him.
Why, why, why do you feel so unworthy that you allow this person you treat you so badly? Please don't say it's love, because it's not. There's a major confidence problem within you, and that needs to be addressed the moment you dump this guy, which you urgently need to do before you realize life is passing you by.
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