Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, nicegirl10  +, writes (5 January 2010):
Word of advice girl. I am a 23 year old female. I was with a guy for 2 in a half years. Finally got out of the relationship. Sometimes he was violent with me and laid his hands on me. We think we are so in love and want to forgive a guy over putting their hands on us. No way. If he keeps putting his hands on you it will not get any better it will only get worse. If he really loves you maybe you to could go for help with getting along with each other. But any kind of violent behavior in a male (relationship) is not healthy. If you was my little sister I would tell you the same. Please be careful with boys(guys). If he was that worried about a text message it seems like he doesn't trust you. This as well is not good in a relationship. With him telling you he is sorry about what he has done this is only luring you back in so that you will stay with him. If you are scared of your boyfriend this isn't good because you never know if it gets to bad you might end up really hurt. Woman can protect themselves as much as they can but men stronger than us majority of the time. And sometimes their is just no way to protect ourselves. Words from experience you shouldn't be with guy. It will only get worse and you might be in a dangerous situation. I made the mistake staying with a guy finally realizing I am better than that and I have found a wonderful guy that respects me much better!
I think that you should go to the doctor to make sure that you are not pregnant. You can get pregnant if you have missed a pill also if you sick and have volimiting or diarrea. If you go on and off the pill your period can change. But if you miss a period I would go to the doctor. I have just missed and I need to get a test or go to the doctor as well. As far as if you are pregnant I would deal with this with a friend or family member. I'm sure you have someone close to you that doesn't mind going to the doctor with you. Have you had a period at all this month? One more question have you been under a lot of stress because this can cause your period to be off.
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female
reader, 09han  +, writes (16 May 2009):
09han is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey its been a while and my final decision is to keep the baby. I told mt boyfriend face to face out the front of my house were my friends could see as suspected he was not happy words were exchanged from both sides and i got pushed into my wall which he then punched xx luckily one of my friends came straight out side were the other phoned the police no charges have been made but he has agreed to get counseling before the baby is born.
An abortion is something i could not do as i am not strong enough and fear it would become a regret. I have support from my mum and friends and the baby when born will be staying the the spare room when old enough xx thank you for all your help you are all amazing xxx Thank you
Hannah XXXXX
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (13 May 2009):
 take your mum with you for support if you tell him face to face i'd personally be home with your mum call him and tell him over the phone and if he threatens you or anything ring the police PRONTO!
then he won't be able to come near you something so that you KNOW! you'll be safe at least with your mum there she's a witness to what has happend just don't tell him that she's there and use speaker phone so she knows what's being said perhaps record it if he gets threatening and then ring the police and play the recording...
at least they have hard evidence then.
it's up to you if you want to abort i mean you need to look at things from your perspective like whether you could cope?
would you get all the help you need to support yourself an the baby together.
would you be in a stable environment?
all sorts talk it over with your mum and see what she feels. :)
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A
female
reader, 09han +, writes (13 May 2009):
09han is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again thank you for your help am sorry am being a pain. So I have not seen my dad for years. However, my mum has known all along that i have been going out with him and i told her last night that i was pregnant. Although she was upset at first she didn't shout and said she will support me in what ever decision i make as she had to make the same decision when she found out she was pregnant with me. Although an abortion sounds tempting i think i would regret it. I have not yet found away to break it off with him let alone tell him i am pregnant. Which ever way he is going to get mad at me. So how should i tell him over the phone? or to his face? Can any one suggest away i can sit down and talk it over with him with out him getting angry? Thank you
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (13 May 2009):
get the police involved ring them up and tell them what he's been doing and that you want him out of your life for good.because he's just making you miserable and you're pregnant and not sure what he will do next.because i'm sure even if you were pregnant he wouldn't care guys who force girls to do stuff and emotionally and physically abuse there girls are just uncaring about anyone but themselves!!they love to have control over you.get your family involved QUICKLY!you don't want to go this alone.and if you want the keep the baby then keep if we can't make this decision for you it's only up to you it's not our choice to make whether or not you want to keep the child.you do so need to get out of this relationship before anything worse happens to you and/or the baby.i beg of you to contact the police and let them know what he's like you can stop other girls from being in the same position you are right now.Hope this helps you hun.i wish you all the lucky in the world!!!x x x x x x X x x x x x x
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A
male
reader, CommonSpencer +, writes (13 May 2009):
if this guy is violent and jealous then he has a very childlike mind. This man is not fit to raise a child and if you are not sure if you want to raise a child at this age there are many parents that cannot have their own baby who would love to give your child a loving home. I'm not saying that's what you should do, but this is your choice and your body so you should be sure that the choice you make is yours.. If he is stalking you tell your parents and definitely tell your parents that you are pregnant because they will know eventually anyways.. If he ever tries to hurt you remember dashing out someone eyes with sharp finger nails at the right time can usually render someone physically useless, but I don't recommend that unless he is seriously trying to hurt you. In Michigan by law you have the right to defend yourself until you perceive that the attacker is no longer a threat. After that it is called retaliation and the victim will actually get charged. Just make sure that if you tell him your breaking it off in person that you are with your parents in a public place or if it makes you more comfortable seeing as he inspires fear in you then tell him over the phone. The end result is the same. I hope something in this will help you.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (12 May 2009):
go to your doctor and discuss your options. do your parents know you are going out with him? they might be able to warn him off?? message me if you need to talk & good luck
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female
reader, pebble +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Have you told your mum about any of this stuff? I think it may be her time to step and help you.
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A
female
reader, 09han +, writes (12 May 2009):
09han is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all you're advice again it really helps and i am sorry for being a pain(Y) So i have taken the test and, as expected, i am pregnant :( I haven't told him i have took the test and i definitely!! haven't told him I am pregnant xx i don't no what to tell him first i don't want to be in a relationship or am pregnant :S xx what should i do ???
Iv tried to break up before when he showed signs of a temper but it made him worse my phone was going off all day and night and he waited out side of college for. I want him out of my life have can i do this with out things getting unnecessary????????
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A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (12 May 2009):
 First of all, you can get pregnant at any time of the month, so what he said was rubbish, you should ALWAYS use protection even though i know its easy to forget, been there done that. Secondly- Take a test! If you want to be certain buy a couple. If both show up negative, and your periods still don't happen, visit your GP or local family planning clinic and tell them whats going on.
And lastly, he sounds like an arse. I'm not gonna beat around the bush, he's using you because he sees you as an easy target. Doesn't sound like the type of boyfriend i'd want to have! That is not a caring relationship you are in my sweet. Get out of there before the abuse gets any worse! If you are pregnant discuss with your GP your options. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Take the test, and don't let him in, tell him you will call the police if he comes near you again, and make sure that if he does try anything that you DO actually call the police and have him arrested!
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A
female
reader, 09han +, writes (12 May 2009):
09han is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease will some one give me some advice on what i should do now i desperate !!!! should i put off the pregnancy test ??? how can i get him out of my life for good with out him getting aggressive because i don't fancy the odds of taking the risk especially if i am pregnant. Help !!!!!
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A
female
reader, dozymare25 +, writes (12 May 2009):
an abortion is the hardest decision u will ever make...I know as i had to make it. U will always feel like u've made a mistake but i know i made the right one so matter how hard. U know whats right in your heart.
Would u really want to bring up a child in a relationship where are scared. What if your boyfrend gets angry at the baby?
I'd do the test yourself but go & see a doctor for support & take a very good friend as u'll need there support as well. U need to get away from this bloke as he's bad news...trust me. My friend ewas in similar position & her life so much better now. Good luck hun. I know u know the right choice in your heart xxxx
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A
male
reader, garcypher +, writes (12 May 2009):
If your boyfriend is showing violont tendencies towards you, It will only get worse. I know because I used to be just like him. I changed over years, so am speaking from experience - ditch him now.
Talk to your parents and doctor if (I know, easier said than done) you think you might be pregnant. But dont forget, if you are pregnant, the ultimate choices here are still yours to decide on. But get out of the relationship with "mr angry". You dont want to go down that road of misery.
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female
reader, 09han +, writes (12 May 2009):
09han is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help you gave some brill advice and i feel a bit better now xx I have just bought a pregnancy test but my boyfriend insists he is coming over when i take it. Should i let him ? what if he gets mad at the result? i am so confused i have threatened to leave before and he text me around three hundred times a day so i suppose i gave up and forgave him. An abortion would sound tempting if i am pregnant but what if i think i have made the wrong decision after??
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): If you are frightened of your boyfriend because he is showing violont tendencies towards you - ditch him now and worry about wether you are pregnant or not after; that is something you can discuss with your parents and doctor. He is showing early obssessive behaviour and could get worse. I know, I used to be just the same, but have changed over the years. I am talking from experience, you do not want to be with someone who cant control his anger. He could become much worse. You should not feel fear in a relationship at your age or any age. Get rid of him and worry about what you are going to do, if you are pregnant, later.
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female
reader, twink_2 +, writes (12 May 2009):
 you need to go get a pregancy test and find out for sure if you are pregnant or not. if you are pregannt you can either get it aborted or you can keep it. a local connexions advisor will help in either cases. you should tell your boyfriend that if he does not start controlling his anger you will leave him because that time he punched a wall but what if next time he punches you. it is not safe to be in such a relationship.
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (12 May 2009):
hun i think you ar definately pregnant!!
you need to leave this guy he don't know what love it.
and he tricked you to sleep with him because of course you can get pregnant jut after your period!
how would he know he's a guy!!
he was just a horny sod and wanted to have sex with you when you refused he guilt tripped you!
you need to talk to your parents or a doctor about this.
you need to leave that guy and find someone your own age hun1
he's ruining your life!
you shouldn't have to be scared of a boyfriend they're meant to make you feel loved and secure not frightend.
Hopethis helps hun.
best of luck
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