A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do girls actually like giving oral sex to guys or what?So many girls seem to have a real issue with it, like feeling subservient or degraded or something. But they don’t have any problem getting it!? What is all this double standards? I hate asking for “sex things” it seems so improper. I prefer to just go with the flow but I never seem to get what I want doing this, I’ll initiate because I like giving oral, feels great to dedicate so much attention to someone, but then things always seem to leap straight on to sex – which is great but I would like my “turn” if you like.And when I do ask (which I hate doing) cos then I’m always given that same submissive answer, “okay then” instead of very enthusiastic pounce “here I come!”There’s nothing sexy about a girl feeling she’s just paying you back or doing her duty – she has to enjoy it too!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): I really really enjoy giving oral to my bf. In fact I have a very submissive nature when it comes to sex. My bf is very gentle with me and sometimes I have to tell him that it's okay to be rougher lol. There are a lot of times when I give him a head without really wanting him to go down on me. It is true that my jaw aches sometimes and I gag at the taste of the cum sometimes but it's so very satisfying to please him. Also, when we both are really into the act, nothing is more of a turn on for me. So I always go down on him first since it arouses me.
I would say to try not to feel too offended by the fact that many women do not enjoy it because trust me it is a difficult thing to do - both physically and psychologically. It's hard on the jaw and sometimes the taste of cum is hard to bear. I can never be sure (unless I do it to another woman :P) but from what I believe, it's a bit easier to give oral sex to a woman than a man. If you treat ur gf very well, do sexual favours for her without expecting a return for some time, she will love you for that and start wanting to please you in every way she can. She has to want that first...on her own. I feel bad for guys in such a positio though. All the best!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Personally i love giving my guy oral sex, deepthroat, swallowing the whole shebang. I assumed everyone starts with it lol. My major turn on being able to please him. Its important to find each others comfort levels & wants in bed. Try when your not in a sexual situation to talk about it. Make sure she knows you wouldnt think any less of her ever for returning the favor. Getting to a level you can talk openly about it is key in bed. Also when she does agree to it,since she has an issue try and make it as romantic as possible. Just trying to think of things i might like, brush her hair out of her face or complement her on how amazing she looks when she plays with you, or make her stop for a min because "she made you want her kiss her soo bad", i also find it extremely comforting that my guy still wants to kiss after where ive been lol. Its comforting and might take away some guilt of it feeling "dirty". i dunno just a couple suggestions, You prob know what she likes more.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): i absolutely love it.
the only thing i dont like is it takes him a really long time to orgasm so sometimes i might get bored and want to do something else. so to keep me into it, he massages my breasts, plays with my hair, rubs my back, etc.
and then... its his turn..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Some people just like giving. I don't particularly enjoy the act as such but I know he does and I like pleasing him. Depends on the person completely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Some people just like giving. I don't particularly enjoy the act as such but I know he does and I like pleasing him. Depends on the person completely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): i love giving it especially if i know im getting paid back later if he goes down on me
but i wudnt want a relationship where only i ever went down on my partenr and nothing in return... its not that fun giving it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): I use to always feel akward about doing it, until i met my bf, at first i was still uncomfortable, but now i am completly comfortable w/ giving it to him and i love giving it to him. I guess if you love the person your giving it to it makes the whole oral sex/experience better. Girls who dont like giving it maybe they just havent met the right person... Just try to enjoy it. Remember if your man will do anything to satisfy you the least u can do is pay him back orally.
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female
reader, ninz  +, writes (7 November 2007):
Hi
you have received lots of answers, and it basically boils down to the people involved as so many people have told you.
I love it, the thought of giving someone pleasure, the taste etc etc I was not always so adventurous with sex though (although I've always enjoyed giving oral), but my husband has slowly introduced me to new things and I feel our sexual relationship has grown deeper as a result! just talking about the things that turn you on, makes your partner aware and eager to give you that pleasure in return. so maybe just approach the subject gently- talk about how she makes you feel when she does it- how it is a turn on to see her keen to give you pleasure and what about using it alittle at a time- not just getting oral sex, but more as a little foreplay. Wait until she is really turned on, initiate it, enjoy for a little while, keep on stimulating her the whole time, then move on to other things. Soon it may become so much a part of your experience, that she may be offering to do it on her own and with feeling!!! Just remember to keep her pleasure in mind while she is doing it- this will make it more fun for her too!
Good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): It really depends. Some girls wont do it because of their background says it's wrong or just because it seems icky and and/or they're nervous. It just really depends on the personality, the upbringing of the girl in question and the situation.
If you are in a situation like the one described you could just tell her you're bothered by her response and ask what the problem might be. I mean it could be anything from the fact that it makes her jaw ache to she just would rather use a flavored condom.
There is no easy answer, some girls do enjoy it some don't.
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female
reader, passion@peaches  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 with oral sex lots of girls and ladies lack confidence,I have had so many conversations with my clients about this area of their sex life,it is such an intimate act,that time and patience is what makes this experience either one of great excitment or one of total disaster,I instruck ladies in how to stroke the penis gently and to caress it slowly,gently kissing it and not pulling it around as if its a piece of meat without any feelings,also not just concentrating on the penis,but gently stroking the scrotum and gently and I mean gently squeezing the balls,giving erotic massage over the thighs,and then gently teasing around the penis,not like a bull in a china shop.I have found that once they feel more confident they take charge of the situation a bit more,and lets face it Ive not met a man yet that does'nt like that in a woman,so everybody's happy,but then there are just as many men who are not sure how to give oral,thinking it should be like a blue'y.but then thats another story.
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male
reader, duce00  +, writes (6 September 2007):
 Great question and great responses!
I am choosing to focus on the "double standard" comment.
Its not totally uncommon to encounter lovers who are somewhat selfish. Ive had a couple. This may be the case for you. Theres usually some indicators far before you get in bed that this can become a problem. Look for other signs of self centered behavior. Watch for a woman who genuinely wants to interact with you. This will translate into the bedroom.
I think you may want to reconsider the women you have been having sex with here my boy. Its absolutely true that some women can be just as insensitive as some guys. Selfish behavior is not isolated to one gender. Its the sad truth my friend.
Then again if you find a woman who is great and you get along wonderfully even though she might not enjoy giving blow jobs. In my experience this is actuly not so common. When the chemistry is right oral sex is quite enjoyable for them even if they hadnt cared for it before. Even if it turns out that she hates it no matter what, both of you will just work around it if everything else is good.
Again, look for a woman whom you actuly feel a connection with and I will be willing to bet that you will have a great sex life. With or with out the blow jobs.
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male
reader, ThreeJumps +, writes (4 September 2007):
 You get a variety of answers- some girls love it, some girls refuse to do it and some girls are... open to persuasion.So long as you don't have some kind of horrible penis-destroying disease that makes it horrible to look at SOMEONE WILL ONE DAY ENJOY GOING DOWN ON YOU.
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female
reader, jezz +, writes (2 September 2007):
 i used to hate it but once you feel you are doing it with the right person and you find them really sexy and attractive then it is so much better and the more turned on you are the more you enjoy it.good luck x
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female
reader, shauna +, writes (4 August 2007):
if she doesn't want to do it for you, find out why. if its something overcomeable then work with her, watch some movies so she sees how its done. i believe it's a million times better when you love the person and feel comfortable with them, because then you don't feel self-conscious and you can get dirty.
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female
reader, nikki! +, writes (2 August 2007):
 it depends with me i dont mind doing it and with the right guy it can be nice but it is importannt you respect a girls desision
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): It depends on the girl...you should just respect their decision and opinions on oral sex. How are you going to be able to enjoy it if she feels like its a job?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Ok, I think I'm one of those girls every one here is talking about. I don't hate giving oral but it's definitely not my favourite. I don't feel that "power" I'm suppose to feel doing it. I don't think I've got an insecurity, it just doesn't give me any pleasure. I love receiving it tho so I'll do it for him and I'll make sure he's enjoying it but I won't be ecstatic about it and I'm not going to start saying things like "oh, honey I've never tasted anything better, you're so juicy". Sorry is not my thing.I don't think sex has to be quid pro quo, in my experience men always reach climax while for me penetration can be very fun and pleasurable but not neccesarily end up in orgasm, so sometimes I need some encouragement (such as receiving oral). I love sex, but not everytime I have sex is mind-blowing sex. Do you always give your girlfriends the time of their lives? I can assure you I'm very enthusiastic when someone's given me great sex.I think you're being selfish, you think that because you go down on a girl she's got to feel grateful and ready to fulfil your sexual fantasies. If you like receiving head and your girlfriends are doing it, what exactly are you complaining about?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): I hate getting oral, but I don't mind giving it sometimes. I have a small mouth and I can't breathe out of my nose but if I had a large mouth and could breathe I would like it more. It's uncomfortable for me to do. It depends on the person. If a girl really likes you and is really turned on by you, she should want to do it but not constantly.
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Got to say i love giving it, but i have many friends that don't so it's definately down to each individual.
Take care.xx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): every girl is different. i actually hate oral sex, i do not enjoy it and dont like doing it, i find the hole thing disgusting to be honest, however i dont like the idea of recieving it either. its not particually pleasant for who ever is doing it, i understand that the people recieveing it may enjoy it but can not see how the people giving it do.all the same each to their own. its all about compromise, asking them for it will only recieve a dull 'ok then, if i have to' sort of answer as it makes you feel like you dont have a choice, my partner for example sulks when he doent get everything he wants sexually so its easier just to put up eith it and do it then say no sometimes, try not to put them under that sort of pressure.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 I think you're dating inexperience, immature girls. Personally I love giving head, swallowing and all....beer drinkers have the best tasting...well, you know what. They probably just don't know exactly what to do when they go down on you, so they'd rather avoid it altogether. Too bad, I think it's a turn on and sort of a power thing...
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Hi I enjoy it. But thats probbly because it was with someone I loved. But I find it quite enjoyable also. Maybe some people dont like it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Personally, i believe it's the girls you are dating. Some girls love it, some girls hate it, and some girls have never done it. And usually if they haven't yet, they find themselves self concious while doing so. To tell you the truth, i'm not a big fan of it. I'm always afraid that i'm not good enough, although my boyfriend loves it. So you should encourage her, tell her it feels nice if she ever does do it. But first, ask them if they even like giving oral sex. If they don't, tough luck.
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (2 August 2007):
 It really varies. Some girls will gladly go down on you, others will be completely against it.
It's all about decision. You may decide that you really like the idea of going down on your girl, but you have to understand she maybe wont be as enthusiastic towards going down on you. I do see your point, it is nice to see it as taking it in turns. You were happy enough to give it to her, she should do the same. Sadly, that isn't the way it always works, and that has to be accepted.
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Its great! I dont know why you have been unlucky really. I dont see why guys wanna do it to women! But cool if they do! the other way round works for me too! Maybe some girls have had bad experiences, taste or whatever. I only had that once but i didnt come across it again (pardon the pun!) so it didnt put me off again with a diff person.
C xxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): She may feel nervous about giving you oral. If a girl doesn't like to give it, I think at least there are two reasons. Her girlfriends talk down on it or she hasn't done it much or is sure that she can do well at it.
Next time she gives you oral encourage her and make her think she is doing an awsome job, and next time she may enjoy doing it for you.
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female
reader, Variety +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Personally I love giving my guy oral sex. I just don't like swallowing lol.
I would rather a guy asked if he wanted it. Maybe not in the middle of sex but it is ok to talk about sex outside of the bedroom.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Some girls hate it, some girls think it's ok and some girls love it.
It's the same for receiving oral sex, so I don't think you are justified at all in generalising and saying there is a double standard going on.
Maybe instead it is the kind of girls you are meeting?
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 I agree on some of your points. As I always say, most men love an enthusiastic partner. It's always better to receive something sexually without having to ask, if only to give us a sense of validity in the bedroom. It makes us feel desirable and flattered. It's seems many times during the dating period, sex is wild and frequent. Things can often change after time passes. Nothing makes a man feel worse than being with a partner that doesn't want to be there.
This is why I maintain it's very important to keep things alive in the bedroom. As for your question, I'd bet that most men would be very disappointed if they knew just how little women fantasized about performing oral sex. Men and women are just different. I don't believe women actually think of any sex act as frequently as men. Some many argue that point. I think it's safe to say that men do most of the planning and scheming about the bedroom. It's too bad too as men would love nothing more for women to take things into their own hands more often.
The results of oral sex can be a little more surprising for women too. When a man cums, it's right there, to be dealt with. To most women, it's not so appealing. Some enjoy it but from what I've experienced and heard, most are not that interested in the actual cum. Men, on the other hand, don't usually have to deal with an actual ejaculate. It's different.
In the end, it's best to try and please your partner and if possible, make them think you enjoy every minute. As long as it's not forced or unsafe, help your partner reach fulfillment. Why not? It's sex and it's fun. It's also very easy to take each other for granted. That's where trouble starts as there is always someone waiting to take your spot. Ironically, those warm feelings that lead to sexual desire we can't be bothered to show our long term partners are the very ones we dust off when we find ourselves single again. In other words, the feelings are still inside, keep them alive.
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