A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think my BF is being really pissy over something I didn't think was a big deal. We were talking the other day about sports we no longer take part in but used to enjoy and I mentioned that I used to do judo in college and was pretty good, even though i only received a beginner's yellow belt.He thought this was hilarious because I'm tall and blond and weigh around 125lbs, and I guess he didn't think that a pretty girl could fight her way out of a paper bag, much less do a martial art. So when he got done laughing at me I challenged him to a wrestling match, and long story short, I used some timely leg sweeps to trip him to the floor a few times, and got him so tired out after a while that his strength advantage was gone, and eventually I pinned him.Well, I figured he would have learned his lesson, but he's totally bent out of shape about it and keeps chellenging me to a rematch, saying I got lucky.So what do I do? Give him a rematch and let him win? Agree to a rematch and try my best again, risking another blow to his ego? Or just refuse and tell him to deal with it? (I've tried that last option and he just won't let it go). Reply to this Question
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female
reader, judochick +, writes (17 March 2008):
Hey, this is "Judochick"
Thanks so much for all the great advice. The update is he insists on a rematch so I'm going to give it to him...but I also told him it's up to him to deal w/it maturely if he loses again.
I just want to make absolutely sure--you don;'t think I should let him win?
(He also continues to say I just got lucky & there's now way he'd lose twice "to a girl." That's a direct quote!)
Also, let me know if you guys want to know how the rematch goes ;-)
JC
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Women like confident men, common piece of advice given by women when men ask how to attract women.To have confidence you need an ego and you just destroyed part of his.Mind you, being confident that you can beat a woman is nothing to be proud off. You destroyed his ego, but is wasn't a good part of his ego.Part me wishes to suggest that you accept the re-match but train up first and beat his ass. He was the one who thought he could beat a trained "expert" just because he was a guy, well he had to learn the hard way. Not your problemExcept he is your boyfriend. I am a cook by trade and really good at it too although it is no longer my job. Do you want to know how many women are ready for a TRUE faceoff between my cooking skills and theirs? If my GF cooks for me, I do NOT compare her food to mine, because I like my balls where they are thank you very much.Too many women here talk about the male ego, but forget the female ego. Do NOT cook better then a woman, do NOT deal with kids better, or chance a diaper no problem. Women LIKE it is a man cooks or likes kids and can chance a diaper BUT NOT better then them.Ego, we all got it. Your choice in how you choose to deal with his, but one note of warning, living a lie is hard. If you let him win, would you like yourselve? Wouldn't you start to recent him for being such a prick about a stupid match?He needs to grow up a bit and maybe you can show him that he can still get you on the floor with the right moves. Some kissing, a bit of touching and he won't need karate to get you on the matt right?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Give him a rematch and do your best. Make sure it doesn't get out of hand and no one gets hurt. If you are closely matched this could turn out to be a fun way of getting exercise. I wish my wife were better than me at some sport. I think it would be great fun if she would beat me at something. More of a challange. I love to see women do good in a man's sport, like Danica Patrick or Susan Butcher (won the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race 4 times).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): I am chuckling here at these great answers and I have to say...I must agree with the majority. So take the advice of these proud, strong gals here-- Gothgirl, Gena, TasteofIndia, Honeybees and.... whup his butt, girl. lol He likely is a nice guy in other ways but honestly, guys with egos this big, need to learn to be more gracious, mature and he needs to learn how resolve his own petulant feelings of resentment, that have absolutely no place in any relationship. He needs to learn not to allow his delicate ego to control 'your' life. It is my opinion that people who choose to be upset and angry over being bested like this in 'playful" situations, can and will continue to use this to enact control, in the future. He may outgrow it, if he's young, and he may not. Watch for that because right now, he's a poor loser..plain and simple. If he continues being this way..set a boundary and tell him to grow up and learn some better resolution skills, quit his pouting or he needs to ship out. People who get pissed off over these type of things, tell me...they could be the most stuck in their life and are least able to change. Just watch out for those traits. You don't need it dragging you down in the future. Be strong, and I don't need to tell you to to take care of yourself..plainly you already know how! Good for you.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Don't let him win, that's silly. Accept his re-match and do your very best. If he lucks out and beats you, be big about it and be a lot more mature than he's being about it.
Kick his butt, sweetness!
xx India
P.S. Wanna make it real fun? Throw a wrestling party and tell all of your friends that it's the FACE OFF - YOU vs. HIM. Have everyone watch you kick his butt...
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A
female
reader, HoneyBee25  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Girl Power!! Give him the rematch he keeps asking for but keep your guard up cause he'll be trying real hard right from the word go, to beat you okay. Watch out too cause if he's as competitive as you say then he will want to win whatever it takes (it's just the male ego honey). Play nicely and fight hard - you need to win this one too, let him see that you're not just a pretty blonde and you can take care of yourself - you go girl!!!!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Agree to another rematch and best him again. It is not your job to boost his ego. He acted like you didn't know what you were doing, and now you are proving him wrong. Just be yourself. Don't be someone else to please your boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Definately give him a rematch, but win the next and let him have the third, you should leave him thinking he has won! All good fun. Have a laugh about this and enjoy the banter. I don't think this is something to take to seriously, my husband and I have many cometitions to keep the bordem away and whilst wrestling is not one of them!, it is all about the same thing. Fun and energy between the two of you.
Practice up a few moves, have fund with it and try and get hold of a gee, belt set the stage and thrash his arse on the third match! Look the part girlfriend!
Then find another competition which you can challenge each other. Things like this in a relationship can be a lot of fun, if taken in the spirit it is intended.
(P.S. for goodness sakes try not to make too much of a fool of him, gentle on the ego! and try not to hurt him permanately, you might still need some of his parts!)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Go ahead and have a rematch. But be careful about it gettin ugly. Sounds like he might not have been ready for you last time. As such he probably wasn't trying as hard as he could until you had him on the mat. If his ego is bruised as badly as you indicated he'll probably be tryin hard from the start. Be careful his competitive nature doesn't get ahold of him so don't hold back.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I'd say, "Break a leg" and go for it! He's a glutton for punishment-then, so be it. Good luck! ;-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Warn him, then kick his a$$ again. Tell him, you can defend yourself, but doesn't take away what he means to you.
My mom new martial arts, and the stories she had, like flipping her boss over her shoulder when he touched her late at night on the streets. We found this out after we heard her being slapped by our step dad, went back to protect (me an two brothers), then we saw her flip a man, twice her size and weight, over her shoulder. He never did it again.
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A
male
reader, 17Irish17 +, writes (13 March 2008):
Ask if he would like a rematch and then try your best to beat him!
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A
female
reader, Cosy +, writes (13 March 2008):
re-match and let him win.
Boys and their ego's geee..!
He doesn't have to know you weren't trying!
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