A
male
age
36-40,
*elshblood
writes:my ex says she has no feelings for me and there is a new guy texting and calling her who is a drug dealer. my ex is asking how i would react if she started seeing him. as we have a 3yr old son together. obviously im not happy to say the least. what can i do to stop her making a mistake. anything i have said or done already hasn't gone down to well as she thinks im jelous because she knows im still in love and crazy about her. i think she is trying to make me jelous but i have recently made several attempts to get us back together and she doesn't want to be with me. also my ex is very insecure and hates her body she has a bit of a belly after having our son. and this guy is complementing her so much and she is falling for it. maybe she just want attention i dont know.i have spoken with her nan who she is close with and she thinks just give her some time and she will come around as she is going through a period in her life where she is feeling very down and low. it all doesnt make sense to me really need some advice from people. especially those of you who may have had a similar situation
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Tape record her admitting to going out with a drug dealer, and get custody of the three year old. If she is feeling bad about herself she should be getting counseling, not being stupid.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Hi there
Well, you can't stop her from making bad choices, if she is already associating with this person then she does not rarely have alot of sensible and responsible qualities which may well be harmful to your child. But you can't actually make her do anything she does not want to.
That said, I am far more concerned about the child than her body image. So I will ignore that as again, all of these issues are suggestive of a women who is a bit lost and mucking things up for her life. But you must consider how safe this wee one is. If she chooses to associate with undesirable people, MAKE SURE THAT YOU CHILD IS SAFE. This nan lady, her relative should be happy to watch over the childs life if the mum is out of control at the moment.
In my opinion, the only thing you should consider now is making it clear that you feel her choice is poor, but it is hers, you would however, like to state clearly that you disapprove of this person having anything to do with your child. If you feel your child is at risk, then you should go for custody. This is your choice and as a father, something which should be a the top of your priority list.
You worry about the child and let her relative worry about her. If her purpose to get you jealous with this guy is what this is all about, then she has showed how disfunctional she is living at the moment in her world.
Number 1 priority = CHILD
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 well, i wont lie. i have 4 children, im 30 yrs old, AND HONESTLY, PEOPLE think im lying when i say i had 4 children. at 96 pounds well, u do the math. but i work out all the time. motivation to loook better is very important.now, to ur question about the drug dealer in her life. i would be a silent observer and see just where things go. and if she gets serious with him. if she does, ur first priority will be ur child. thats not a healthy environment for ur child who i assume is with her. so, go to lawyers behind her, and just inquire about ur rights and what to do in this situation. u cant make someone love u if they have already made their minds up. and it sounds like her decision making at this point is very poor. so maybe u will have to make some decisions regarding ur childs well being. for now. and if she comes around after u tell her what u have been doing, if she proceeds further with this guy, then work an amicable solution that is good for u both, ultimately, forn the vhild. just because she is unhappy with her body does not mean she should go for some drug dealer who compliments her. what next? a serial killer or pedophile thinks shes hot, so, is she going to turn her head to them too? if u want her back, u need to make her feel sexy, and give her or help motivate her to go to the gym, to get back into shape. go with her to the gym, and be workout partners. Sow her ur interested in her and u want to help her feel sexy again. mind u, i believe pregnancy does not give a woman a right to let herself go. and my bf is very happy i look the way i do despite 4 children. genetics plays a part, and being asian i never gained any major weight. and my stomach is flat and toned! anyhtings possible dear sir. help her, or start taking step[s to protect the child who is in a compromising situation and did not ask to be in it. god luck sir with this.
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