A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone i need to no if any wome had used alum/salts to make your vigina tight like a virgin?you see i had sex about too year ago and i havent had sex since ,i know my hyem is gone cause i bled when i slepth with my ex but im due to marry in a few months and i need to be a virgin whice im not (my life is over) so please tell me does this work to make me tight or not ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): Your husband deserves to know who he is marrying, not who you prefer him to think he is marrying. It's not your choice to make for him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): Since this is a very subjective topic I will try to not be too harsh in my response.
OP why do u want to start your life with a lie? A life/relationship based on lies will only end up with you being viewed unfavourably by your man.
Virginity is very simple: either you are or not. Don't let anyone delude you into thinking that bec u did not enjoy it or bec u did not do "those" things, you are still considered a virgin. All that is hogwash. And people want to believe this because it just makes them feel better about themselves.
I hate lies being told to me: either regarding virginity or the parentage.
OP no matter what u do and no matter how you hoodwink your future hb, YOU know the truth. If you can face yourself and sleep without a conscious then I worry. You need to know to learn the concept/term of honesty.
As I said this "virginity" issue is sensitive but when we deliberately and purposefully lie, then there is a huge problem.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): I told my bf I was a virgin for..I DONT KNOW WHAT REASON! I think I wanted to avoid any questions or to be looked on as a whore or dunno... I ahd only been with one guy... soo yeahIt did hurt a lot and I did not enjoy it and he practically forced me into it...So the first time I was gonna do it with my new guy, I dried up my vagina, with a paper towel so it appeared to be tighter,and did kegel excesises. Needless to say I enjoyed this first time more.. hmmm ebcause a hymen its sjust a dumb membrane of our insides, you can even break it riding a bike, a friend of mine did gymnastics and tore hers when she was younger.I was still a virgin, on my heart I was, I did nto have all *that* sexual experience... I enver felt I agve myself entirely to that person, heart and soul and we both felt it was our first time acutally making love. My actual boyfriend I did feel like a virgin.... and I enjoyed it!!!! and loved it!!!!VIRGINity is a subjective term... you can do everything but penetration and be called a virgin still ebcause your hymen is intact? I dont think so. Is a person who was sexually assaulted stopped being a virgin because her hymen was torn?How come a girl's virginity is measured by such membrane? If I guy did it with other girls before then its no problem, but if a girl did it then its wrong. Prffff! Besides THEY cant feel the membrane! and if you DONT bleed tell him you probably did not bleed, NOT EVERYONE BLEEDS! I bled the next day! and just a few drops! its not like its a fountain lol, and some girls ahve "Strechy hymens" that dont tear like others.Well... I at first say that to my bf when we were friends and I had to stick with the lie when we started dating, but he will love u whether u are a virgin or not.
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A
female
reader, Christian  +, writes (11 July 2011):
hunn i dought there is any need to worry...unless u been using toys...besides the vagina is a extreamly tight mussle and sex two years ago a little or alot is not gunna affect anything. I promise u went back...even if he was huge. And whatever this wyme is...im asuminge u mean the skin that indicates ur a virgin...i never had this that i know of. Oh and in m experence i was never lax down there till after child birth.
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A
male
reader, GRIFF TANNEN +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Y_v Just gave you the medical explanation which is very clear and has just saved allot of time for you.
And wiseoldman is very correct, I do second what he says. Your sexual past and your body is your business and not only that, it belongs to you and no one else. If anyone tries to tell you different, then they can go fuck them selves!
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (11 July 2011):
Your hymen or lack thereof is no-one's business but your own. Your sexual past is no-one's business but your own. If you are being forced though fear or emotional blackmail into a marriage which you do not want and fear that you will be hurt by your prospective husband, his family or your family because you've chosen a perfectly normal British/Western lifestyle there are various organisation which you can find online who will help you. Don't knuckle under.
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A
female
reader, Y_v +, writes (11 July 2011):
 No. Alum/salts does not tighten your vajayjay :|And unfortunately once you've lost your virginity, you can never take it back :( sorry.. that's why it is known to be precious!Of course there have been known to be extreme measures of women trying to get their hymen back through surgery, but this is extreme. If you want to go there, please do your research of pros and cons from the internet, there are plenty of info or even talk to your local gp about it :)You could try 'Kegel exercises' to try and tighten your vagina, i've heard that it creates results. It's definately a healthier option other than surgery!Bottom line is... no you can't get you're virginity back but there are ways of tightening up :)... the internet is definately full of info on stuff like this!Good luck and Congratulations :) x
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