| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am a 5'4" male and i am very insecure about my height. I know that women love tall guys and that most of them turn their noses at the thought of dating a guy as short as me. However, I also know that some guys my height and shorter do have success with women and that some women would be willing to date a guy the same height or shorter than them. I want to know from women who have dated a short guy what they saw in him and what I can do to change myself for the better. I would also like to know how short guys were able to have successful relationships with women and how they convinced the women to give them a chance.
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013): This is the OP. I started learning boxing yesterday. I think learning martial arts will be good for my confidence. I am going to start working on my dress sense today. Thank you for the help
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 January 2013):
 I beg to differ with a poster: 5 feet 4 inches IS NOT average in Central or South America. It was average years ago, but the younger generations are eating better and getting taller. Even the women.
The blunt advice, poster, is this: don't pay attention to that. This woman won't want you because your nose is that way, or your eyes aren't that color, or your jokes are bad, or you have "powerful feet", et cetera. There is always going to be something about you that many women will not like. Their loss! Someone will find you special, but that certainly won't happen if you're concerned about your height. Women certainly don't like insecure men.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 I have never looked at a guy and though:" UH too short to date!" "Or too blond!"
Quite a few of my male friends are shorter then me and I'm 5'7 - but one of them married a model she is 6' at least and isn't shy about wearing heals with him around. He has personality is SPADES though. The FIRST thing anyone notice about him is his personality and definitely his honor and confidence.
Height is something YOU CAN NOT change (for a guy) but with some self confidence, sense of humor, good grooming and personality - I BET you most girls won't even notice.
They will just go DAMN he is fine!
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 January 2013):
I'm relatively tall so I don't have a ton of advice but you may try dating women from other cultures. At 5'4" you are totally average for a man of many parts of Central American, S. American and SE Asia.
Find a woman from there and she probably won't think twice about your height.
I'm not saying to get a mail order bride but if you live in a multicultural area you may want to consider it.
...............................
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 My ex was also 5'4", a little shorter than me. We were together for 3.5 years and height was never an issue for me throughout the relationship, and didn't affect how attractive I found him at all =]
...............................
A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (11 January 2013):
 Confidence is the key, I'm 5.8 so not that tall, the way I got my girlfriend was through being confident and making her laugh, she's only 5ft tall though. What you have to accept is that there are going to be girls who will and won't, work on your confidence and charm, we all get knocked back, but there are women out there that will like you man so don't let your height be a negative. Be proud of who you are
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): If women never liked short men, then short men wouldn't exist as they would be eliminated from humanity.
I personally dont like very tall men, my husband 5.8. But I'm 5.4.
Man that is my height would restrict from wearing a certain shoes, that's true, but how important is that would be for me if I loved him, probably not important at all. I never dated a guy your height, why, because they never approached me, thinking the same way you do, that I m not going to like them.
There are plenty of women who are only 5'or like my tiny childhood friend who never grew more that 4.10. For you being 6" taller than her itbwould make you a tall guy for her. It's the same as for me a men whom is at 6' tall.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (11 January 2013):
 Hi
No I don't date short guys,but I am 5'8" and love heels and I don't feel relaxed with them.However I am usually one of the tallest when I go out with friends the others range from 4'9"ish upwards.
If nobody dated short men the world would be full of them all single .. but they DO date,marry,have kids so there you go.Was at a wedding a couple of years ago and the bride was a good 6" taller, nobody thought anything of it and they are so happy.She actually cannot stand men with beards though, her taste.
Personality and confidence make people sit up and take notice so forget your height,don't even think about it anymore,go forth and impress
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013): I am the OP. Thank you for replying to my questions. I feel much better after reading them. I will start building my confidence and self esteem today
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 January 2013):
 Oops hit the wrong button and posted a half answer.
I see that you are getting the right advice. Manliness, confidence, humor, and a sense of mystery are the keys you are looking for.
FA
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 January 2013):
 You think you need to be taller. But many men, your height or shorter, have great success with women. The greatest predictor of success with women is your own CONFIDENCE in you. Everything else follows after that. If you lined up one hundred men all around five feet two inches up to five foot five inches then the important things would be to observe the following:
1. How he walks
2. How he moves
3. What he says and how he says it
4. How he dresses
5. His demeanor
6. How he behaves in front of others
These things above are some of the indicators of confidence.
And Code warrior has written a step by step guard on self confidence.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-get.html
The above is a step by step process to self Confidence Author: Code Warrior
And now some accounts of men who are successful with women, and who are not tall:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dudley_Moore
http://www.complex.com/girls/2010/03/no-small-feat-our-10-favorite-short-men-who-date-tall-women
Dustin Hoffman is 5 feet 5 inches
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dustin_Hoffman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Jeremy
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/14/famous-couples-with-talle_n_214948.html?slidenumber=12#slide_image
Rod Stewart is really 5 feet 2 inches. Though he used to claim he was taller
“Rod Stewart has accidentally confessed he's only 5 feet 2 inches tall. The 62-year-old singer has always insisted he's an average 5 feet 10 inches but let his real measurements slip during an interview on a radio station.” From: http://www.exposay.com/rod-stewart-isnt-as-tall-as-initially-thought/v/11059/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Stewart
Some dating tips that might help you:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/20-questions-to-ask-someone-on-a-date.html
Author AskEve
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 January 2013):
 Confidence.
I was at my tallest 5'4 3/4" I am now 5'2.5" I have dated tall men. I have dated short men. I have dated blondes, redheads or raven haired men...
Height is not the issue for me.
Weight is not the issue
WHAT matters to most women is that the guy is "a good guy" he's confident but not arrogant. He's smart but not show-offy
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING about a man who is a delight to date... he is HIMSELF. NOT a phony.
Authentic, honest.... all the personality traits that come to mind are so much more important than height.
And the fact that they are confident is key.
I know it's hard for you to believe and accept but once you love yourself where you are, life gets beautiful.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 January 2013):
So I'm short, balding, and overweight. Good thing I'm happily married right?
Your question is worthy of discussion, so let's look at it. Many women have a stated preference for tall guys. It really is nothing more than a media imposed body image. Most women have dealt with this enough to see right through it. You get a few that will say things like, "why should I date someone I can't wear all my shoes with?" Or "tall guys are more fun to dance with." Those lines don't hold up to close scrutiny though, and you will find that in practice most women, even those who state a preference for tall men, make their decisions with their hearts and not with their tape measures. In the end no one really enjoys wearing high heals.
My favorite example is my Paternal grandmother. She dated and married a guy who was at least 4 inches shorter than her. They lived happily together for nearly 60 years and died within weeks of each other. Our family has a lot of funny looking pictures with her towering over him. Only funny looking because you don't expect it.
You may have seen me complain that many women believe automatically that short men are dishonest. It is a strerio type
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (11 January 2013):
 Not all women love tall men. I don't. I am very uncomfortable dating a man over 5'7". Perhaps its because I'm only 5 feet tall. I have just always preferred shorter men. I think they are very cute! I find nothing attractive about a tall/skinny or a tall/big man...no matter how attractive they may be. You see? Its all about preference. I do understand what you are saying..most women would probably prefer to date a man at least as tall as her, but not all. So what's wrong with dating a girl 5'4" or under? Trust me, there are plenty of cute smaller girls around! More than anything though..you need to focus on what are your assets, if you feel your height is a disadvantage. Focus on your charm, your personality ect. Women love a man who can make them feel comfortable, make them laugh. You may not be able to get a 6 foot tall model but sweetie..there are plenty of lovely ladies out there that aren't going to disqualify you for your height. Work with what you have. We all have things about ourselves that we don't like. Don't knock yourself. Be confident...it goes a long way. If you like yourself, women will like you too as long as you aren't arrogant. Just be a nice guy. A great personality goes a very long way, I promise.
...............................
A
female
reader, FreshPrincess +, writes (11 January 2013):
I'm 4'11 and I would date a guy who's 5'4 in a heartbeat. My dad(who has passed) was 5'5 and my mom is 4'11. My cousin married a woman who is 5'8 and he is 5'4 (and he's always loved women taller than him). So what do my examples mean? It's all about confidence. Some women won't want to date you, but you won't want to date some women either. It's a give and take, and as long as you don't act like you have some kind of deadly disease simply because you're short, you'll find someone who you'll want to get to know :)
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 January 2013):
 I've never dated a short guy, but that's because I started dating my current partner when we were both young. Short guys are easier to kiss anyways. The only benefit I find from dating a tall guy is that he can reach things for me, otherwise I don't really notice height. My friend is short and has a really nice body, I doubt he would have ANY issues getting a girlfriend. I once went on a couple dates with a guy who was my height, he also had a disability. We didn't hit it off personality-wise, but I thought he was definitely attractive.
There's nothing you can do to change yourself, just don't be constantly worrying about your height. Everyone has something they are sure is a huge turn off to the people they want to date and can't change. You just have to accept it and work on the things you can change. Like, work out more, become a more interesting/nice person, etc...
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 January 2013):
 Lame answer, but , ..do nothing. Just be yourself, and posibly be a yourself that 's easy to like. Be kind, be self confident, be fun to talk to, be respectful... be all the things that make any person attractive at any height.
It's not you, it's them ( us ).
I'd be the bane of your life, because I admit that I have a totally irrational, yet existing, un-attraction to short guys.
But, for instance, my ( very attractive, btw ) sister passed very easily and casually from a 6'2 first boyfriend to a 5'3 second one. Simply, she does not include height in her criteria for desirability , physical or otherwise, in a mate.
Some girls don't want short guys, some don't want bald guys fat guys skinny guys older guys younger guys etc. etc. etc.
People have tastes and preferences, and you can't please them all. Luckily , the range of preferences is wide and varied, so you too will find someone who does not care about height, or actually prefers short guys.
...............................
|
