A
female
age
36-40,
*sabella1987
writes:Hi everybody. I just want to ask you guys question. Do you guys believe in online love? I met this guy who have same birthday,same satuition about pass relationship and almost everything are same.We chat on the internet for couple times. Yesterday he told me he love me and he truly in love with me. And he said he want to see me too. he live in another state of united state. so, about 6 hours driving from my town. anyway, can i trust him that he love me. He tell me all the sweetest thing in the whole world. I think I love him too. something we chat with the cam so, we can see each other.So, i just want to know it's really happen the out side wold that people meet from online and got married.Please answer my question.
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female
reader, Barbara  +, writes (28 October 2009):
Be very cautious about people who express undying love to you when they have never seen you! Some people pretend online - how can you be sure if he's not already married? Does he have children? The internet has given so many men the oppportunity to cheat and pretend that it is absolutely scary out there for women who are naive; innocent or trusting. If it sounds too good to be true ...well I wouldn't believe anything until I had checked him out thoroughly.
Be careful and if you do meet him make sure it is in a public place and you are with a family member.
Take care of yourself and don't take unnecesary risks with your life or well being.
A
female
reader, jessbelle +, writes (28 October 2009):
Please, please be careful. You say you have only talked a few times and he loves and is in love with you? He also just happens to have the same birthday, same situation as you? I don't mean to be cynical, but it is possible that he has said all the things he knows you want to hear and that would make you think this was meant to be.
I suppose it's possible, but you need to be cautious.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ticki +, writes (28 October 2009):
 i think you can believe at first that you are in love with them but later on find (if you meet them) that you don't.i think it can work. my dad found his second wife online and they are really happy together.i think the best thing now is to meet him and then you will see how you feelgood luck!xox
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (28 October 2009):
 Not if you haven't met, I dont believe anyway. You can think you're in love with a certain person, but its a fantasy person. I think the chances of that panning out in the real world is very slim. Of course you will always get the exceptions though. But odds are stacked against it. Some people love the whole online love thing without the real life responsibility, its knowing if the one you're talking to is like that, thats tricky x
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 Which MMO was it may I ask?
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female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 I married my online love. I met him through a computer game and before anyone asks "Was it WoW?" Lol no it wasn't, but it was a MMORPG.
I fell inlove with him online, and Yos puts it, I rationalised it probably was the image in my head I was inlove with and if I met him it would collapse. But I had to meet him. It was not what I had expected. Personally it was magically better. We just fit. It was just perfect. We then had an online LDR for a while and then we moved in with eachother, got engaged, got married. :D Best decision I ever made in my life.
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (28 October 2009):
It can happen. But what often happens is that you fall in love with your imagination, not a real person. Then when you meet them (or some time soon after) you come down hard to earth with a painful bump. You learn a lot less about someone through chatting online than you think: most of our 'real attraction' comes from subtle cues and things like smell.
Since you know almost nothing about someone, your mind can filli in the gaps with an idealized image of who you want the person to be. It's a normal thing to do, we do it when we meet people in real life; but online we have far fewer cues to go on, so much more of our mental image of that person is made up. What you have now is a picture of this guy (and he has a picture of you) that is 10% real and 90% fantasy. And that's the 'person' you have fallen for.
At some point, either when you meet or soon after, as you get to know the real person your fantasy image of them gets shattered. Your mind realizes that they are not the person you imagined them to be, nor the 'person' you fell in love with. This can be very disappointing, and perhaps very inconvenient.
That's not to say online romance can't work. But to make it work you need to be aware that this is going on. Take the time to separate out reality from fantasy: ask yourself what you really know about this guy versus what you hope to be true about him.
The fact that you two already think you love each other after only a few conversations is not a good sign: it suggests you already have built up these fantasy personas.
One way to deal with this is to meet as soon as possible! If you do, just make sure to do it in a public place, and make sure you plan to only meet for a short time and for him not to find out your address or similar. And make sure you have an easy 'out-route' too. Basically the same protocol people follow for meeting someone from an online dating site for the first time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): so you've chatted with him twice, in which time he has professed his undying love and proposed...sort of, kind of...and you think that he is possibly for real because after all..you can see each other on the web camara...this just raised a LOT of red flags for me. Do i think online dating EVER works? Yes i do. I have a friend that met her husband that way...But not when marriage is brought up so soon....among other things.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 October 2009):
I actually do know a couple who got married, and they had met over the internet. People asked how it was going, and did they ever feel as if it was fake because if all started over the net. But they said that it was because they had plenty of time to get to know each other that it had worked. They've been married four years, and they are a lot happier than most couples who had married and done eveyrthing in person. So the important thing more than anything else, is that you take time to get each other very well, don't feel pressurized into sudden decisions and such. Also, be aware that he has said he loves you without actually meeting you in person, so just be careful he's not jumping the gun, as it were. Take your time getting to know him, if you meet, please meet safely in a public place and just see how it develops when you're in person. Good luck.
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