A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:do i trust my girlfriend againmy girlfriend left me for another guy, she slept with him , then a week later told me she had made a big mistake...she was working away with him, so it took her 5 months to finish her contract and return to me..in the process she said she never slept with him again and i believe her..weve been back togther 9 weeks now, and at first i couldnt have her near me , even though i had thought about how much i wanted to when we were apart...i asked the ususal questions, and i got the truth...now there is a wedding coming up soon, and she said she doesnt want me to go, as i have been getting angry in drink over what has happened before, but its getting easier...she started crying having said that she didnt want me there, but what type of person puts you through all that , then after me trying to put it all behind me, get told that i cant go to the wedding, her best friends wedding...im so confused as to think im not going cos of this other guy...ive asked the truth but she keeps impying theres no-one else just like before when she was spending time with this other guy ..what do i do .please answer...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): as hard as this is now at least that sh1t is out of your life finally. keep this in mind every time you are tempted to take her back. she is not worth it. just sloppy seconds and well now she can go away and not come back.ever. take care and remember you are worth more and deserve more than her. life is not a game and people should not be played.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell gods good as they say...i finally believed her , and we were getting on great, spending much time with her as possible, then i overheard her on the phone to her girlfriend , and some guy got on the phone and she spoke very girlie like to him, thinking i was outside, then i heard her say no , your not coming round her no, laughing, then said no..my boy fr..she stopped saying boyfriend and said mate...i forgot bout this as i thought trust is the issue so i left it..anyway last week she saked me to put some music on her laptop, i had asked if she had any photos of her in canada previously , as she is a photo addict, and she said no they were all on disc...so when i went on to put her music on, i went in trash, i was compelled to, and i found cananda photos on there, her and this guy, and a video of her in a hot tub with him, her in photos on the bed , making dinner for two....i was choked, i asked her , and i said, listen for the last time, please tell me if you spent time with thisguy in canada, and she poured out lie after lie, like she re-hearsed it..i said well funny thing is, ive got a video of you two in a hot tub on my i-pod, which i downloaded the hot tub scene on to...her face was blank, and she even confronted me, by saying i dont believe you ..showme then....jesus what kind of woman is this..so i showed her, and she held her hands up and said youve cught me like it was some kind of game...wll friends, i told her she was sick and needed proffessional help...weve split obviously. i thankyou all for the support...my family are happy i found out, im so happy now..i thought i was going mad..thanks again to you all....and as always..trust your instinct...good love shouldnt give you doubts...cheers
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Don't look at it as you becoming sad, just caught up in desire. This desire stems off two areas, actually "relationships" in general do. (1) The desire to be loved, (2) The fear of loosing love. Sometimes I see that we get caught up in between the two.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you to you all for you answers and support , if only the person who has caused you to ask theses questions to people like yuorself was honest and open like this in the first place, then there would be no reason to ask at al..but un-fortunately and i put it plain....i have met and fallen for some-one who isnt..only to realise that i need to let go and move on..thank you all so much, and if any-one is reading my question and seeing my answers, then take heed and do the same..ive never done anything like this befroe..i do not regret it. just realise how sad i have become, only through your respones which are truely appreciated..thankyou all again.....cheers
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): The biggest mistake of her life probably dumped her. The biggest mistake of your life would to believe anything that woman tells you. It will hurt to get rid of her. It will also get better. Staying with her will be a lifetime of torment. Find better.
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A
female
reader, Si Si  +, writes (30 April 2010):
Dear guy..It sounds as if you have deep feelings for your girlfriend. Obviously you would not have resumed the relationship after she left you for someone else if you did not.
If you are both serious about repairing the relationship it will take time.Your trust has been badly damaged,and your self esteem too. Of course there are times right now when you feel very angry {that is totally normal} however it is how you deal with that anger that is important.
What would happen if you promised your girlfriend that you will not drink at all at the wedding?{and mean it}This could be a posssible solution.
I know it is so easy to say "leave her"ect,but this is obviously not what you want to do as you must love her very much. However,relationships should make us feel happy and secure.If you both want to stay together then trust will be the issue here for quite a while. Your girlfriend needs to understand this also.If she agrees to you going to the wedding and staying totally sober then that is what needs to happen If, on the other hand you offer this and she still says no,then you may need to seriously consider moving on..it is a most difficult time for you and I sympathise. I hope you find happiness...
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (30 April 2010):
No! No! Tell her to p--s off and you take control of your life and find someone worthwhile?
Remember she is a 'liar , cheat and a fraud'? Is that the g/f youi want?
I do not think so!
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (30 April 2010):
 I think you need to let her go. If the shoe were on the other foot, there is no doubt that she would put up it, so why should you? There are so many other women (honest, faithful ones) out there, so you don't need to settle. Let her go before you are stuck in a marriage and get kids involved.
You seem like a good guy. I know the girl of your dreams is out there. You just need to unload some baggage before you find her.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): there is nothing to think about this women you should be leaving her and moving on with your life.. she is just playing with your feelings.. she is not worth you.. dont hurt your self for a person like this.. you should not be trusting her she is a cheater..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 April 2010):
You're being played left, right and centre. She cheated, then came back and is now acting suspiciously again. You don't trust her and she's not lifting a finger to make it easier for you. The reason she doesn't want you to go is either there is someone there she wants to meet, or someone there she has met before and wants to meet again. You're being played, and this woman isn't worth another second of your time.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 April 2010):
Her not wanting you to come to the wedding. I'd be weary about what her reasons or intentions are. You're trying to put this behind you. Really, I wouldn't just ask, "what is the truth", I'd state the truth,"It doesn't take much to see when something is not right." Let her know that you, as being your own person, have the absolute right to assure those you associate with are honest and faithful, where no one has the right, directly or indirectly, to hurt someone else.
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A
female
reader, loops +, writes (30 April 2010):
As blunt as this is going to seem, you do not trust this woman. So why are you together? It is obvious to me that since you have been back together, instead of letting go of the past and moving on, you have held on to it so tightly its caused you problems (the getting angry when drunk), she maybe does not want you to be there directly because of this. It may be that something IS going on, but then again it may not, its all speculation, you have no proof your basing it on whats happened before, which screams to me you havent let this go. I would question that without trust, whether your relationship itself is worth holding on to.
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