A
female
age
36-40,
*andie
writes:Hi uncles and aunts! Wel, i'm just gona get on it. Yesterday my bf confessed to have been cheating on me... I'm so confused, angry and sad, i feel betrayed and lied to.. I don't knw what to do, i thought i needed to speak to someone.He confessed after telling me several times that he loves me and i think by that time he realised i wasn't willing to take him back anymore, and even if i did, our relationship would not be the same anymore.I feared misleading him and staying in a relationship where i knew we would go our separate ways one day. I feared for my future with someone i believe would no longer make me happy.. I told him these things and went on to tell me just how much he needs me, how he's always loved and wanted to spend his lifetime with me.I don't knw why he did this to me, i never thought i'd wake up to this one day.. I trusted him, i believed in him.. This is the first time that i experience a relationship going this bad.. And to think i never even thought of cheating on him- NOT EVEN A SINGLE DAY DID I IMAGINE MYSELF IN SOMEONE ELSE'S ARMS OTHER THAN HIS!! I'm so confused right now.. Should i go on to speak to him, just to listen to what he wants to say because i refused listening to him last night! Right now i hate him like i used to love him!
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female
reader, Candie +, writes (30 April 2010):
Candie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot guys for your responses.. I think my mind is now made up. Sure i don't need to deal with such. Thanks again for listening!
A
female
reader, goowes  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 This has happened to many people before you, go read about it why what when where etc. this is your time to learn how you deal with it for future and now.
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A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (30 April 2010):
 In my book, cheating is a deal breaker. I'd leave him.
So many men out there who aren't cheaters wish for gf's and you want to waste more time with this guy? Why? Makes no sense...
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A
female
reader, Candie +, writes (30 April 2010):
Candie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo Si Si, he just confessed. I think he realised by then that there's a chance we'd never last a lifetime together (i decided to admit that to him because i didn't want to lead him on knowing our relationship was already heading for a crash). He then confessed and apologised about it. But then i seriously don't think i'll ever be happy with him and that i'd even trust him again. I may speak to him.. But i'm so torn right now, i dnt know what to do.. I don't even remember myself being any productive today.. I don't know how i will face him. This kind of stirs terror in my heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): you should leave him and move on with your life, you will find better men. a man once cheated can never be trusted again.. cheating is not a mistake that can be forgiven.. talk to him for the last time and listen to what he has to say this might make you feel better but dont let him come back to you and hurt you again..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 April 2010):
I think before you speak to him, you need time to think about what you want and whether you even want to speak to him again. You need to sit down and work your way through what you're feeling before you make a final decision. You now know that he has cheated and that he may not be the best bet as a man, so maybe you would be better moving on rather than considering anything. But just for now, think about yourself and what you want to do. There's no rush, so do as you want to.
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A
female
reader, Si Si  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Dear girl...Firstly, was he found out in his cheating? or did he just "confess"? If it was because you found him out that makes it worse.If he just "confessed" then at least he had some guilt feelings.
At any rate, you now know you are with a man that is capable of cheating on you. He has already done it once{that you know of} and since past behaviour is a good prediction of future behaviour, you know what to expect..From now on, if you keep him in your life you will always be wondering. is that what you want?
Of course he will profess his love at this point, he has done the deed,and wishes to return to the sanctuary.
If you take him back,will you have the same respect and trust? Two things that are vital in relationship.
The important thing to think about is if he is making you happy...Otherwise why bother?
I wish you happiness
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A
female
reader, loops +, writes (30 April 2010):
I would give yourself some time to make up your mind on a clear head. At the moment your going through a whole host of emotions, in a few weeks, or a few months you will have a clearer picture. I don't think however if you already feel like your relationship will not be the same, that this is salvagable, but regardless you need to take some time before making any decisions about your future. think about yourself right now, you have been hurt, you need looking after :)
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