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Can I still trust my friend?

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Question - (16 May 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Hey there,

where to start... im 17 and im having problems trusting my best mate as i recently found out she slept with my ex boyfriend twice when we were still together. me and my boyfriend split up around 2 months ago over a row we had because i said i couldn't trust him and now i see i was right not to. but my best mate told me a week ago what she done and at the time i was fine with it but i think i let her off to easily and i don't know if i can trust her as she's now trying her luck with a guy I've been seeing for the past week. what should i do? should i just dump her or forgive her? or what? I'm so confused. any advice would be helpful thanks a lot to anyone who listens!!!!

View related questions: my ex, split up

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (17 May 2007):

Frank B Kermit agony auntNo, you can not trust her, and no, she is not your friend. Does she really need to sleep with your BF or ex bf AGAIN for you to understand she is not to be trusted?

I think she only wants these boys because she knows that YOU are into them, and wants to have what you had. She is not emotionally well, and you will be damaged by her if you keep her around.

-FBK

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A female reader, Sbrwneyes United States +, writes (16 May 2007):

Sbrwneyes agony auntOkay, first off...she claims to be your "best friend", but she slept with your boyfriend...TWICE. She's no friend at all. Not one bit. You should defenitly get rid of her. She will probably end up doing it again. Find someone better as a friend and keep an eye out for them.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007):

Get rid of this 'friend' immediately!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007):

Hey

I understand you dont know what to do and you can go two ways about it, you can forgive her she came around and told you the truth, but if shes pushing her luck with this new guy talk to her, what harm can it do, just say that your not happy with what shes doing and you want her to back off.

If you dump her as a friend you ll regret it, if shes your best friend you dont want to dump her. You need to talk to her and talk to your new boyfriend to see if hes playing you aswell he probably not but by saying something he might relise what your best friends doing and ask her to back off

hope all the best

xxxx

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A female reader, Suzie767 United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2007):

Suzie767 agony aunti couldnt be friends with this girl if she was the last person on earth.

the reason my friends are my friends is because i trust them completely

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (16 May 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntWoah hun, get rid!!

You can't consider your best mate as someone who deliberatly steals your boyfriends!

She sounds like a vicious cow to put it nicely.

Tell her that if she was your best friend, she wouldn't be doin this to you.

I'm sorry, but you really can't trust someone who uses you to get lads.

Good luck x

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A female reader, Cole9292 United States +, writes (16 May 2007):

No you can't. and besides, you already know the answer, you are just posting on an online discussion board to get permission from strangers to do what you want to do (and are right to do) which is stop letting her be around guys you like.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007):

Do you honestly think a best mate who would have sex with your ex bf (while you were still dating him, is your friend? No. I would consider a best friend who sleeps or flirts with your men,a very poor choice. And if you have a man who takes her up on her 'offers' he also is a poor choice. These type of behaviors clearly display a strong lack of self-control, a lack of judgement and a lack of respect for you. She is not a true friend..she is however, a boyfriend stealer. I would dump her and move on, with my life if I were you. But not before telling her how her inconsiderate behaviors have deeply hurt you. Ask her why she would step over those friendship boundaries with you? She may not have an immediate answer or she may even apologize but...she has proven, without a doubt she cannot be trusted. And perhaps, a little talk with her may get her thinking about 'why' she does what she does to people who care about her. All in all, she is bad news. Leave her in the dust and realize their are amazing, wonderful females out there that you can get close to, that would never dream of doing such a horrible thing to you. You are going to need to choose what relationships are valuable to you and choose accordingly, in the future.

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