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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: dear agony aunts__xit isnt exactly a question i have but i need to get it out and off my chest,i am a complete mess!!! i dont know what to do, who to talk to, who not to talk to, where to go, where not to go and i am soo paranoid!!!well ill try cut it as short as i can (although it may be hard)when i was 7 my mum found out she was pregnant again and because i was an only child i thought it was the best thing ever! i was going to get a little brother or sister, i wasn't meant to know but i heard mum n dad talking she was only about a month gone. 2 months later i turned 8 and mum dad and mums baby all died in a car accident on the m62. i had no idea what was going on i didn't see them for days and then my aunt had to tell me the news. everyone was so upset and i wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. i then didn't go back to primary school until the sats in year 6. i was at school or the full year 6 and i got bullied all year. i had no friends or parents. i was the most unhappy child ever. i didn't think things could get any worse. my granny n grandad had been looking after me for the 3 years but we have never spoke about mum n dad and no one knows about the baby. when i was 13 i was raped on my way home from a friends house and it has haunted me ever since. i have not been able to talk about it to anyone and 2 years down the line i still cant bring my self to admit it happened or accept it. my grandad doesn't know and my gran passed away on 6th feb (86 years old) due to malignant melanoma (skin cancer) that she had been fighting for 4 years. me and grandad have kept each other company but we cant seem to talk to each other. we don't tell each other anything. when i was little me n mum used to have little chats about my boyfriend at school or we used to go shopping and we would spend time together but since everything has gone on i have nobody. i don't go to high school i stay at home and get home tutored. i have no body but my grandad and my boyfriend. i just don't know what to do. i don't know how i have stuck with these things for so long and i see people slitting their wrists and hanging themselves on television and it makes me physically sick, times get bad but why run away!! i have no idea what to do with my self some times. i need serious help. anyone any advice please i'm begging. it would be so useful.thanx and sorry for the really long question! sarah aged 15 from uk!__x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2007): You need to take courage and work on your life. Try and associate with as many people as you can who are caring and who you think will help you out and don't associate with people who will misguide you. What you need the most whilst you're growing up is guidance and you need to look to your grandad for it as much as possible. Above all, you must concentrate on becoming a 'good' person because I promise you that the rest of it will sort itself out as you grow up.
And you were right when you stated " times get bad but why run away?" because running away from problems is never the right solution. You must accept the challenge you have ahead of you to get your life sorted out and take courage in the fact that the only way things could go from here is upwards. Find out what you want in life and who you want to be and work at being that person. Imagine yourself, in 20 years time , happily married to a caring and loving husband and being the proud mother of 3 beautiful children. Or imagine yourself in the career that you have always wanted to pursue. Keep that image in your mind and work at it and above all, NEVER LOSE HEART
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): hi sweet pea,
i can so relate to what you have been through. i have had a tough life growing up through out my whole entire life until now & like you i do not talk about it with anyone. i had to battle cancer after i was born. i nearly almost died when i was younger. i have been abandonded by so many people that came into my life. i was raped a few years ago during my first year of college & i never seeked helped from anyone nor did anyone know about my situation. these are just some of the "few" things that i had to endure on my own. you're not alone. know that all of the bad things that happen in your life ISN'T your fault at all. things do happen for a reason & sometimes we may not know what the reasons are, but we must accept it... it's life. we grow & we learn from them. for all the things that you had to endure ... i believe it will make you a stronger person. i find that writting in a journal helps. do you have a hobby? try to distract yourself doing something that you enjoy. cry when you need to, but then tell yourself to stop after a few mintues. remind yourself that "nothing is your fault." no matter how hard life gets ... you must beat it by staying positive. if you ever need someone to talk to. please post it on here & i'll give you my contact info. stay strong darling & take lots of care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): Dear Sarah, I can feel your pain and I am really sorry that you have to go through all this. You do need to talk to someone. I think that turning to God would bring you happiness. Can you go to church ? and eventually you can maybe get counceling from a priest or someone professional. But you do need to talk about your situation with someone who could help you. As for the answer to happiness......God. He is Great !!! turn to God my dear. I am praying for you with all my heart.Blessing to you.
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A
male
reader, doog  +, writes (16 May 2007):
Sarah,
Reading your post my first thought is you need to find someone to talk to, you need to get this stuff off your chest.
You dont mention if you are able to talk to your boyfriend about this stuff. It sounds like you dont get out much which wont help, are there any clubs etc you could join ?
Failing that there are people and organisations that you could talk to, a problem shared and all that :-).
My advise get out and about with people your own age and make good friends you can talk this stuff through :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): Hunny i feel so bad for you!! I dont have to much advice for you but what i can say is that if you have no one to talk to about these things write them down. To keep them bottled up is even worse!!Spend a lot of time with your boyfriend and if you can go to a councelor or anyone who will listen. I willl keep you in my prayers and i hope everything gets better for you!!!
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A
female
reader, Suzie767 +, writes (16 May 2007):
 ah sweetie bless you.
please try and talk to someone about this. i understand it would be hard for a teenage girl to talk to her grandpa about this stuff but is there a female in your family you could go to?
you should definalty tell someone about the rape as this person might still be doing this to others
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