A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,im daniel, from australia and i really need some help here!I known this girl for about 4 years now in which we worked together for sum 6 months or so. she had a bf at the time we first met...she had a house with him and all and she was basically set. (this was about 3 1/2 yrs ago) we used to email each other about 100 times a day whilst we worked 2gether, always went out for lunch and got on really really well!Just recently she broke up with him in jan this year - they had been seeing each other for 9 years. For the last 3 weeks we've been hanging out 2gether. she happened to msg me out of the blue to catch up. so we've had sex (shouldnt have happened) made out, watched movies atc etc. I told her the other night i was keen on her and would love to b with her. She says she has feelings for me but she doesnt want to get involved in a relationship at the moment as she plans to move away and work overseas. and also the fact she just broke up with her ex.With us to its like we were meant to b, we act the same, have so much fun around 1 another any everything! i want her in my life before she goes away!I told her yesterday that i couldnt just b friends as i was keen on her, i told her id move away with her if it meant that! i just could not b friends and it was only going to make it harder in the long run when she leaves as i still like her! i told her i was sorry but we just may have to not speak anymore (which i dont want but i was hoping it would change her mind?)please help me here, what do i do? do i just stay friends with her and just keep hanging out alot and see if something evolves from there in hoping she realises what she is going to miss out on if she leaves?? shall i keep playing hard to get or will she just get sick of the game and wander off....? :( im a bit down at the moment, i think she is the one....we are so alike!!please help me,thankyou so much for reading!!Daniel
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 May 2007):
 Firstly, stop with the attitude of "sex should not have happened" becuase that attitude is part of what killed your dynamic with her.
Next, if she is really leaving in a month, you should not have brought up the fact that you want to be more serious. Why the rush? You sould have been willing to let it happen more naturally. By asking her for "permission" to be her boyfriend, you made her feel she needed to be responsible for the relationship, and that is the worst thing for her to feel so soon after a break up.
Continue to see her, stop pressuring her with EXPECTATIONS. Enjoy your time together, and STOP making you both feel guilty about the sex. Why would anyone want to date a person that makes them feel guilty about having sex.
-FBK
A
female
reader, jomana  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 your problem is a common one . i know alot of people who went through what your going through .and i want to ask a question, how does it feel when you believe that she's the one and that she may leave you ? hard huh? well, imagine her feelings towards some one she's been seeing for 9 years and then suddenly she broke up!!! according to that i believe that what she is going through is a little bit harder then what your going through .now i think that you should not push her into anything . if you really love her then be by her side until she gets over all her hard issues then start re-talking about you and her getting into a seriouse relationship.
i know that you feel really bad but you have to know deep down inside of you that even if you were not meant to be , life has so much to offer later on if you do not loose hope.
goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): hey,
I think you need to wait and see what she wants in the long run, it may be hard now but youve been waiting around for her for so long and you know you cant just forget that. Not to sound mean but it would haunt you for a long time. You know you love her and she probably feels the same you need to take a step back and think about it. Think about it if you took a step back she may come around and if not your probably a really nice guy and you dont need people messing you aroun. Theres plenty of fish in the sea but she ll come around.
hope it works out
xxxx
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