A
female
age
30-35,
*hoenix-Rose
writes:Ok here it is. I am 17 and 18 in november. My problem is i was bullied from ages 8 - 15. I was told i was ugly, i was worthless and that no one wanted me. I used to think this girl was my friend but now resent her. i havent seen her in almost 3 years but i now know that she has her own flat which she shares with drug dealers. I know i am better off and my friends i have now are absolutley amazing honestly 1 in a million well 3 haha. But i have always acted like the strong one but i dont think i really did get over what this girl had told me and to top it all off when i was 13 a guy in my year at school went out with me for a bet on a holiday away with the school then dumped me over the phone telling me no one would ever go out with someone as ugly as me. I know now that i am not ugly but good looking but i dont think i have ever gotten over this.
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female
reader, Phoenix-Rose +, writes (22 July 2008):
Phoenix-Rose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much for your comments. i think just like everyone i have bad days and it ust pops into my head or something reminds me but i feel more confident in myself :D do thank you all
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): I too am sorry that yet another person has to experience this. Going through school I have had people tell me this as well, I used to get picked on. A couple times I tried to be nice back (hoping to get back at them) that didn't work! I was always insecure, started puberty at a young age and was a really awkward teen. Even now I go through this with my family. Ha an uncle even compares me constantly at every social gathering to every "ugly" or "dorky" cartoon character. From Lisa Simpson to Meg (Family Guy). Members of my family will greet me "Hi Ugly", or you better lose weight or your boyfriend will never give you that ring. And just recently I found out that family members call my mom ugly as well. She too has low self esteem which for me is hard to swallow because I wish she thought the world of herself! The things some people say to you are horrible, dealing with it is difficult and can take a long time to get over and learn to deal. I am working on it and am 25 but instead of being hurt now, I am now just angry about it. Please try to love yourself more, you deserve respect and happiness. Don't let these people build up insecurities and go on with your dreams.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): Bullying can leave great scars on children and young people. Go see a counselor to talk things out and practice esteem building skills for a few sessions, and also look at some books on relational aggression, such as "Mean Girls", "Odd Girl Out", and "Odd Girl Speaks Out". You are not the only one by any means, but the great thing is that we outgrow the ugly duckling phase and the pecking order of the poultry yard.
I hope it helps, swan girl!
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A
female
reader, taina1980  +, writes (16 June 2008):
I'm going to be blunt...sorry if I hurt you...yes as everyone has told you already, try & ignore...i mean you can do that & yeah it going to still hurt your feelings or you can tryto think of it my way...f$u!c+k the person who ever got you feeling like this... first off, its a little known fact that people who put other ppl down are insecure themselves...that being said let's be honest not all of us can look like brad pitt & angelina jolie.... some of us are not that atrractive to others... but that is the beauty of a human being & that is why god made colors for diffrent taste... beauty is definetly in the eye of the beholder...if someone is really going to focus there time & energy on making another feel like shit then they aren't shit...dont let no one drag you down that's why its called"self" esteem because you yourself are in charge of it...treat people as you yourself want to be treated... we are all insecure in someway or another...but no one is perfect & you are gorgeous no matter what... so what this invidual said your ugly...stop letting others control your happiness & your success with other relationhips. two tears in a bucket mutha f$ck it!!! take control of your life & your emotions... your perfect just the way you are..
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A
female
reader, c3c3znumba1 +, writes (15 June 2008):
dont listen to them, everyone is beautiful in their own way, and besides their opinions should mean nothing to you. I had the same problem growing up as a kid but now all those guys who used to call me ugly are fighting to date me. There is nothing wrong with you, if they saw you from the inside out they would most likely be fighting to date you as well. Just dont let anyone put you down ever because when it comes to the way you look the only person that needs to be pleased is you.
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A
female
reader, TrillianMcRed  +, writes (15 June 2008):
Hey.. We all go through this as teenagers.. There are several reasons for it.. Physically, our bodies go through a zillion changes at this time.. It's always positive to look in that mirror and think of yourself as beautiful.. I never did and went through a worse teenage life.. But tell you what, that age group everyone's changing.. So it's uite normal to be judged all the time.. My eyes were bloody ugly at that time, now people tell me it's my best feature..
Socially and psychologically, it's the time of identity crisis, finding yourself.. We tend to find ourselves in other people's judgements and words, nothing wrong with that as long as criticism is constructive.. Trust me, some day you'll look back at the photos of yourself and times when you were 17 and say "I was like that!" I do that and it's only been 3 years out of teenage!
Better days are ahead.. Just don't get caught in other people's judgements.. Chill..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Hey!
Youre very strong and its Ok that this bothered you but you also know that youre a beautiful woman and you have friends who love you for who you are now!
Thats the thing to focus on and dont feel guilty for being hurt by your past or beat yourself up over not "getting over it" but just realise that it is all part of making you the strong and talented person you are today!
Keep your chin up and enjoy your life!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Ouch, I'm not even going to sugarcoat my words: What a Bitch.I know what you're going through, hun, I was bullied when I was younger too, there were these guys who used to make fun of my heritage, my family, call me ugly and fat, and when I was about 7, a family friend's son beat me up.But don't let what happened in the past get you down. You KNOW you're not all those things that girl called you; her words are worthless and it's sad that because she had issues with own self esteem that she had to cut you up and pull you down to her level.Look at what you have now compared to her - do you think she's actually happy living in a flat with a bunch of drug dealers selling and doing whoknowswhat with whoknowswho?Just keep telling yourself that nothing she said was true - believe it or not, you are strong for going through all that and making it out alive. Here's what I think you should do: Write down every hateful thing that girl or anyone else ever said to you on a sheet of paper. And when you're done, just get rid of it. Flush it down the toilet, rip it to pieces, shred it... Just think of it as letting go and starting over again.I hope this helps!xo
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A
female
reader, mum and 1 +, writes (15 June 2008):
look around you you say you have great friends so there most be something amazing about you! Being told these things at that age is really hard to forget and get over but it has made you stronger i can tell from your letter,why have these feelings come up again? has something happened? tell yourself 3 timesa day all the good things that you like about yourself i know it sounds odd but it works! eventually these new good things your telling yourself will block out all that bad stuff. ask your friends and family what they think of you yourll get loads of good feedback from them. remember all the good stuff youve got going on! if your still feeling bad go shopping get some new clothes,a new haircut nothing beets that for making you feel great!
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