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age
30-35,
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writes: I just started having sex very recently.My Boyfriend and I have had sex a couple times and everytime it was bad. I cheated on him with a friend who I asked to teach me how to ride and perform fellatio and some other basic positions and the sex was amazing,we did this twice. When I got back wih My boyfriend we had sex again and but this time used my newly learned skills and apparently for him it was euphoric meanwhile It still was bad for me even when I was on top. Even though the unlimited compliments on how good I am are nice he wants to have sex 24/7 now. Fortunately I dont see him often due to my profession. I hate the fact that I dread having sex with him and I have to fake any pleasure he thinks he's giving. The worst part is that he actually thinks he's A god in bed. He constantly brags about how good he is. I hate to burst his bubble so I tried coaching him a little bit but to no prevail. Someone please give me some advice on what I should do about this situation!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Chantelle x  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 As much as you may burst his bubble you need to have a chat with him about, obviously your lessons paid off and he thinks your great but sex isnt about it being one sided. I had to fake with my ex boyfriend, he would work so hard and it did absolutely nothing for me. It was great for him but again just like your situation it was one sided. All i did was talk to him and we learnt from each other then.
Hope this has helped. Good luck xx
A
male
reader, defeated  +, writes (18 February 2010):
man you all said a mouthfull, what is it with people these days, no one can keep a damn commitment anymore.
sex is not a reason for a relationship, regardless if he is good or bad at it, and besides who is to say that you are all that good at it!!
most people have relationships because there are feelings for each other, sex it just a perk in a relationship.
LL said it the best"if there is no trust then just us cant last", do him a big favor and let him find someone who he can trust.
being a cheater may feel all cool and stuff now, but is that all you want to be known as? if you continue this behavure who is going to be willing to be with you long term, me i would only hit it and quit it and save myself the heartache
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 I realize that you're unhappy about your boyfriend's poor sexual performance, but cheating on him doesn't make it right. Do the guy a favor, and end it with him. Its the right thing to do. If you really loved him, why would you cheat? Obviously you weren't willing to work things out with him, it was just easier to run to someone else. So just end it. And PLEASE don't tell him you're ending it because the sex is bad. That's so cruel and could REALLY damage his ego. Men are fragile whether they'll admit to it or not. Please at least give him the courtesy of walking away with his ego intact. He deserves that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): What is your problem? Just end it with him. Why would you think it's ok to cheat on him? To learn sex moves?
The whole point is for you both to learn together. Do yourself and this guy a favor and end it. Geez. You said it so easy, "oh I cheated on him.." and then just kept on whining about how bad the sex is for you.
He might lack experience in the bedroom but at least he isn't going to other women to learn. You are the one with the issues here. Women like you disgust me
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A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (17 February 2010):
Wait wait wait, YOU CHEATED ON HIM!!! And just to learn some new moves? Well there's your problem. I think it's time to move on from this guy. You want something and this guy is not giving it to you that another man could. So I think it's time to end it and move on. If you want to stay with him that's fine but you broke his trust so I don't know how this relationship could work with that on the table.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (17 February 2010):
Just end the relationship. But you don't have to be mean and tell him how awful he is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): Hahaha oh to go through all that again.
I remember the first time a girl said I was bad in bed - I was 20 and thought I was gods gift to women!! To be fair, if no one tells you that you're bad (and young women are especially prone to faking it in my opinion) then how on earth are you supposed to know that you're not?!
I had been bragging right, left and centre about my prowess in the bedroom and really thought I was king of the world until I dated a slightly older woman who promptly put me back in my place.
She was however kind enough to give me a pointer or two - that's pretty much where a decade of learning started.
Pleasing a woman is a lot harder than it looks!!
So the gist of the story is basically that you're not doing him any favours by faking it.
As far as the cheating goes I think you already know that what you did was wrong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): If you are not honest with him you will continue to cheat and eventually get busted. The worst thing that can happen is he can get his feelings hurt,but if he loves you he too (like you) will be willing to learn and practice making sex better for the both of you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 February 2010):
Well, if you're cheating on him to learn and if you're dreading having sex with him, end it. You don't love him, otherwise you wouldn't have cheated and you wouldn't be dreading sex with him. End it because this is going nowhere.
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