A
female
age
51-59,
*econdtry
writes:My bf of almost one year didn't bother to give me so much as a card for my birthday. He did take me to dinner, and this isn't a money issue. I went all out for his birthday six months ago. I still can't get over feeling really hurt, should I ask him why? And how can I go about that?
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Maybe he didn't like you going "all out" on his birthday, felt uncomfortable? The two of you have only been together for nearly a year, so that's experiencing each other's birthdays once. Men can be very nonchalant about most things and what they view as unimportant can be very important for the female. Try to think like him for his next birthday and perhaps he'll surprise you and make your next birthday extra-special.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 You say you went all out on his birthday... what did you do that makes him taking you to dinner so insignificant?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): He took you out for dinner so that is a good sign. Just because you went all out, doesn't mean he is the same person as you. Women tend to be better about such things.
You could tell him you enjoyed the meal and it would be even nicer to have a birthday card as such things matter to you. Then you have told him what you want. But the important thing is he took you out.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 So when he took you out to dinner, I'm assuming he paid for it..was this on your birthday? Did he even wish you a happy birthday? Has your boyfriend always been like this when it comes to holidays or a birthday?
Guys aren't sentimental or creative like that, they don't know what to do or get you for your birthday unless you tell them directly. So I don't understand why you're upset, now if he forgot your birthday altogether then you have a problem.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 December 2010):
 I don't know if I can make you feel any better, but I'll try. I'm in the same age group as you, and have had a boyfriend/fiance for almost 9 years. We lived together for 2 years, and now are in a LDR. (Just a little background so you'll understand better I hope). The 1st year we lived together, he wished me a happy birthday, and bought me a live plant with flowers 2 weeks later (yes 2 weeks!) his excuse? He couldn't find any pretty plants till then. The second year he took me out to dinner 6 days later because he was working. This year, he couldn't be with me for my birthday (we live 2000 miles apart), so he has my birthday present from September which he plans on giving to me when he sees me at Christmas! I, on the other hand, go all out for his birthday...presents, cards, emails, phone calls, a cake, balloons...IT REALLY SUCKS. I've tried so hard to talk to him, and he doesn't get it..NOT AT ALL.
See a pattern? I'm not saying all men..but so many men seem oblivious to dates that are special to us girls! They don't get it! They really don't. You can try to explain to them, but they just don't get it. My guy RUINED Valentine's Day for me for 2 years ago..my favourite day of the whole year..that is the day he told me I needed to move out because he needed to concentrate on his work (He's a doctor). UH YEAH....I HATE valentine's Day now!! LOL
I know that all men aren't this way..because my ex husband ALWAYS and I do mean ALWAYS (for 16 years) NEVER forgot my birthday or Valentine's Day. I always got a dozen purple or pink roses...SIGH...too bad he was such a jerk in other ways!
I know it hurts, and it hurts alot, but I don't think your guy is doing it to be mean or cruel. It just doesn't register to him that its that big of a deal.
Cheer yourself up, go buy yourself something pretty (even if its really small) it'll make you feel better. Hang in there!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 December 2010):
Is it your birthday today, on the off chance that he has a surprise?
Or had your birthday gone already, in which case he may have forgotten and has a lot to answer for?
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A
female
reader, dersita  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 BOYS WILL BE BOYS. They dont care about tiny birthday cards or presents. They want something big for their lovers like for instance: A DINNER.
He had dinner with you. Thats great! Even though he doesnt care about your birthday HE STILL LOVES YOU.
So dont get mad over that. Just shake your head, sigh and LAUGH! :D :D :D
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