A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About 2-3 months ago I found a picture on my boyfriends phone of someones breasts while trying to bluetooth an image from mine to his. I calmly asked who it was and he insisted that it was a mate winding him up but I had already called the number and a girl answered. I left it at that. Then this weekend he lent me his phone to call home and I discovered that this person is ringing him everyday and texting him.How should I deal with this? Call her and ask who she is, text her pretending to be him just or ask him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): Thanks for all your answers. Turns out she is his ex from a couple of years ago. When I confronted him he says she wants him back and is becoming obsessive. Don't really feel much better bout it and i wonder why didn't he tell her where to go if she's bugging him? he certainly hasnt discouraged her... but i love him so im gonna plod on and he has a new phone now new number and she doesnt have it. but he knows im keeping a beady eye lol
A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (13 February 2007):
CALL HER. ask her if she knows your boyfriend, then CONFRONT HIM
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (13 February 2007):
 It's smelling fishy to me too....but confront him first....then call her in front of him if his answers are full of holes. Or best of all....plan a surprise. Jason and I wanted to invite you over for dinner...if she's on the up just a mate then she sounds like fun and YOU should get to know her too. If it's innocent.....then you will all have a good laugh and if its not.....then you know. Just make sure you WANT to know before you take any action.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): I would call her, ask her if she knows your boyfriend. You may not like what you hear, but at least you can get an answer. My ex boyfriend kept pics of me on his phone. When we were seeing each other he was two timing me.The girl he was seeing at the time thought they were exclusive, as I thought he and I were. Anyway I had a text out of the blue from the other girl which was sort of non sense, it was asking me to be her new boyfriend blah blah and then she started referring to my pics?? I know they were mine as she was discribing what I was wearing etc. I thought this rather humiliating and maybe my boyfriend had shown his mates my personal pics and they were having some sort of a wind up.I just ignored it until I started getting phone calls out of the blue and when I answered they hung up. Eventually I phoned the number back only to find out it was the girl my boyfriend had been sleeping with for the last two months! Anyway I confronted the bf about it, he got all nasty and accused ME of snooping on his phone, as the other girl denied contacting me first. Needless to say shit hit the fan! Just phone the boobs, put your mind out of its misery, but be prepared for the worst case scenario.
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A
reader, lucy +, writes (13 February 2007):
hmmm i think you should ask your bf about it and be honest, say you found that she has been callin him etc. etc. dont wrory you wont look paranoid, it will just put him on the spot. if his excuse is rubbish maybe then think about calling her and if it turns out he has having 'a bit of fun on the side (so to speak) kick him to the kirb you deserve better xxx
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A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (13 February 2007):
Nutty gooner calls it pretty well I reckon.
I think if it was just a joke he would have deleted them by now. I don't think I'd keep a picture of some bird's boobs on my phone for long if it was just sent in jest. My girlfriend would son start to think there must be more to it than a mere joke if I did that. And the fact that when you call the number it's not a mate, but a girl, no doubt the owner of said boobs, who answers is another concern.
Strange though that he lent you his phone. If he had something to hide, (i.e. her texts and calls) I would have thought he'd have been very reluctant to let his phone out of his sight - unless he couldn't refuse you without arousing suspicion.
It must be very tempting to text her, pretending to be him, but you might not like what you discover. And that's not really the right way to tackle it, is it. You need to have this out with him and get some honest answers. There might be an innocent explanation, so I wouldn't pre-judge anything, but it's not a very promising set of circumstances so far.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Honesty is the best policy. I wouldn't be too chuffed if my bloke had a picture of boobs on his phone, mate or now. I think it would be better if the boobs belonged to a non-mate. You need to have a good chat with him and tell him you need to be put in the picture. I would ask him to remove the picture because you find it too offensive, and if he thinks so much of you he will get rid of it.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Let's see...Bloke has mysterious boobs on his phone, bloke says the boobs are his mates playing around, speaks to the boobs every day and the boobs text him frequently - .Now, I don't know the contents of the texts, so I can't advise on that - but if he has a pic of a girl mates boobs on there, I would be inclined to demand some answers!I wouldn't normally call her directly, but you have already asked him, he hasn't been honest with you about the picture - it sounds like he is hiding something from you, and I don't think if you called her up, you will like what you are going to hear.Put it this way, if he is cheating on you, and goes nuts at you for calling "the boobs" up, why would want to stay with a cheating liar? If it turns out that she is just a mate, why on earth does he have a pic of her boobs, and why wasn't he honest in the first place?Good luck!
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Even thought it might seem easier to call her, ask your boyfriend first. This is the straightforward and honest thing to do. Just be aware he might get annoyed about you checking his text messages.
Maybe it's an innocent friendship... but it smells a bit fishy to me.
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