A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:there is this guy i have been good friends with for ages. He just moved back to his home town, where i am. We started hooking up. He has told me from the start that he didn't want a relationship and I didn't want one either. Now I have developed feelings for him we have been sleeping together for 4.5 months and hang out everyday and i stay at him place a lot. I have told him how I feel and said I don't want to hear about any other girls he has been checking out(because we are best friends and tell each other everything.) Although we both don't see anyone else we are exclusive but not together. I don't know what i should do? I want commitment or on the way to that cause it has been going on so long. He always tells me he doesn't want a relationship and that he's to messed up at the minute, he has said he never wants to hurt me, but he doesn't realise he is hurting me now. should I stop sleeping with him and just go back to being friends? because i can't keep hurting myself if it's not going to go any further. Also it is a big secret because our relationship is forbidden by our parents because we are family friends and they don't want anything to damage their friendships so no one knows but our closest friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys that's great help and its true I need to stop it. I'll let him know that I cant do it any more and just wanna be friends then i'll see how it goes from there
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 January 2011):
You need to end it. You've crossed the boundary that was set now, and you'd spare yourself more pain and embarrassed by just saying that you'd rather end it than trying to make it work.
A lot of FWB relationships wind up like this. One eventually falls for the other (more often the woman falls for the man,) and then it needs to end.
I think at the start, he made it clear that he didn't want a relationship. Nothing since then has changed. All he really is there for is the sex. You couldn't even be sure that he's not seeing someone else, because you told him never to say anything.
You need to end it and move on from him. You'll only get hurt if you don't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): Its been almost 5 months. If you have feelings for him why can't he for you.The thing is girls fall in love when sex gets involved but men dont. Men like a chase.They have to get to know you before you have sex to fall in love with you. You knew each other already but it doesnt matter. You allowed him to sleep with you with no strings attached already so why would he need you as his gf.Having to pay for dates,buying you gifts, the nightly phone call.He will just use you until the right girl comes along. Just stop having sex with him and be his friend until he's willing to commit to you. If he doesn't he never wanted you in the first place.
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