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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I find it joyful to see someone beg down to me and ask for mercy so that I can then decide as to what I should do with that person. Basically I can only relate with someone who can surrender to my ego. If they don't, I just ignore them or can't accept them to be worth relying on. Any advice on how do i get over this attitude? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lovehate  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 To be honest who would gravel at your feet if you have that much of an ego. With what you have said i am suprised people have talked to you. Lower the ego and life will be kinder to you! If you can't do it yourself, get help :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): I am surprised that you have found anyone to grovel at your feet. who would want to talk to you is a complete mystery. What can you get out of making people beg? You have got serious issues mate.Be nice to people or die lonely thats your choices pretty much.
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A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (4 June 2007):
I agree with what the other aunts are saying, and i want to add that the fact
that you wrote this letter is a sign that you don't think the way you are acting is the way to happiness!
Have you seen the movie called, I think, The Secretary, with James Spader?
In this movie, a woman who starts out as his secretary is able to reform him,
but it isn't easy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): Awesome point, Yos! Also, when a person needs to control--it really is something is born out of fear (the weakness in your character) thus causing a huge insecurity within you. You have the maings of a man who will abuse in his future. And remember, Abuse takes many forms. Right now, you appear to be abusing others, emotionally, just to feel good about yourself. This is so wrong. A person who feels it is necessary to control others and dominate them, robs himself of a happy, sense of well being. So do something right..Counselling will definitely help..look into it, poster, so you can have a happy future. Talk to your family doctor, they will steer you in the right direction. Good luck and please help yourself. Take care.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Start by considering the nature of ego. An oversized ego is fundamentally driven by insecurity. If you are secure then your ego has nothing to prove. Behind a dominant ego lies weakness, not strength.
Ponder that for a while.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Get a really large ladder, are you for real. What kind of person says that sort of thing in the first place. Would be great to know the girl who will knock you down to size one day.
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A
female
reader, mwest +, writes (4 June 2007):
Are you kidding me? I agree with the other Aunts, you need serious help. Such a turn off for women.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Recognize that any healthy woman will be repulsed by your attitude and flee. You won't attract anyone with any kind of self-confidence. Your relationships will all be dysfunctional. If you're looking for a real, long-term relationship, based on mutual respect, you're going to need to do a lot of work on your attitude. If you're just looking to find someone with no backbone or opinions to serve you, keep going. I don't expect it to bring you happiness, though.
I guess I agree with the previous posters: Therapy and lots of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): I was wondering if this really is a serious question?? But I have to assume it is, so here is my answer. I agree with the other Aunts. You really should get some counseling to find out why you are such an ego driven, controlling man. So much so, that you have this need to control others so badly and lash out at them. I have a feeling you don't trust people, very much. You will never find happiness with an intelligent, passionate, caring lady at this rate. She will clue in to you and drop you like a hot potato. You need to find out 'why' you are like this.
A good man takes care of himself because he has self-respect. He lives his life with respect for others and a passion for life. He is not a wound-licking victim or an ego-driven control freak. He understands the territory of love and shares it with a wonderful new female. He appreciates and respects her and the relationship is based on equality, mutual respect and he will do anything to make her happy. I have a feeling, you look to others to only make 'you' happy. You are dysfunctional..get into counseling before you end up 'alone' for the rest of your life. No friend...no lovers...so sad and it should have to be that way. This your choice, so thus, your problem..you own it..do something about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): Stop taking steroids...and get therapy.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 June 2007):
 lol rhythm. To the poster, Therapy and lots of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): Therapy and lots of it.
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A
female
reader, Helen Help! :) +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Hey well at least u realise this thats a start this might sound preddy harsh but i think u need it. GET OVER YOURSELF what makes u so much better than every1 else why should thy grovel at ur feet to be ur friend who made u gods gift. You should just like the fact that people want to be ur friends and the more u have the better you can never have to many friends jus give people a chance dont jus go on first impressions some people would kill to have a friend let alone aload some people dnt find it easy to make friends so if u do u should be greatful urself. :)
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