A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear agony aunts, well i guess im kind of embarrassed to ask this but here i go. im not fat, as in, reallllly big, im about a size 14. i have small boobs and a bigger belly, and i know they say that the guy you love (and who loves you) will appreciate you the way you are.. but can anyone truely find someone plump with no boobs anywhere NEAR attractive?! i ask because iv met this great guy and i think its definitly going somewhere. hes such an understanding guy, this isnt about him just accepting me the way i am... its about him not finding me repulsive to look at. i find me repulsive to look at, i just dont see how anyone could possibly find me attractive. is it possible for someone to truely love me? thanks. be honest![mod note: kept poster's original title]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): thankyou guys, you all really helped me see that people of all shapes and sizes can be loved. its obviously nt that easy to get over, but im certainly feelin better about it all. :)
A
female
reader, Katiekins86 +, writes (13 January 2010):
 You've said you are plump with small boobs. Not only do some guys LOVE small boobs and something to hold weight wise (my boobs are massive and trust me, it's not what its cracked up to be) you haven't said any of your positive features, which I'm sure there are lots of. I'm a size 14 too, and I get days when i look at my slim friends and feel jealous, but what you need to do is not be embarrassed to look in the mirror and actively look at the bits of yourself you like. Not all busty skinny girls have lovely hair for instance, or a beautiful face, clear skin,great dress sense etc etc etc. Just work with what you've got - men aren't stupid, he can tell through clothes what your figures like and he's obviously interested and thinks you are hot so go with it. Just because some men want a size 8 doesn't mean they all want one; i'm sure you are a very attractive girl and confidence will only make you hotter.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 January 2010):
You're not repulsive at all. There's nothing wrong with you. If he likes you, he'll accept you as you are. My girlfriend is size 14, and I adore her. There's more to you than your body. Let him get to know you as well. And love yourself.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (13 January 2010):
 Obvious he DOESN'T find you repulsive to look at otherwise it wouldn't have got this far. Looks are most important at the first impressions stage and as you have got through that stage it seems that he doesn't have an issue.
If you yourself are not happy with being a little plump then that weight CAN be lost, it isn't easy but other people manage to lose weight. That may help you with some of the self esteem issues that you seem to have.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): Guys will think about you the way you think about yourself.
There is a pot for every lid, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and God don't make junk. Learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Ok, all those sayings exist because they are actually true.
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A
female
reader, Silence and Sorrow  +, writes (13 January 2010):
 Yes it is very possible for someone to truly love you. My belly outdoes my boobs quite a bit, but my Dom loves me. Truth is, lots of girls think they look terrible. Convincing them otherwise is almost impossible even if you're completely serious because their personal views matter more than those of others. When the one that says it is someone you love that loves you, listen. Rarely will they flat out lie about your appearance and its appeal. When we first got together, I was worried my Dom would take one look at my belly and face and leave. At that point I wasn't his and had been told that I was fat and ugly by my ex. My Dominant was really understanding and by the time I could accept myself he had seen all the other "bad things" about my appearance. He never once backed away or acted like I was disgusting and that convinced me that it was all good. When he said he loved me and I could see it in his eyes it took all my control to stop blushing and resist hugging him to death. If your guy says it or shows you that he cares and you know him to be sincere then don't let the fears about your looks get in the way. He loves you and looks aren't what matter most.I apologize if I'm not helping, but I'm trying.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (13 January 2010):
 If the man is in to you he for sure finds you attractive. Looking good comes from the inside just as much as the outside. Of course someone can love you and he may be the one to prove this. Don't hold back with him since he already knows who you are and would not be there if he did not like. I think you need to work on your mind saying that you are not beautiful. If you want to start getting in better shape I say go for it or go out and by some pretty clothes to wear with your new man. Build up your self confidence and he will find you more and more attractive.
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A
female
reader, Tegan95 +, writes (13 January 2010):
hello,
When I was 14 I had an okay body, but very small breasts. I was very inscure about it, and thought nobody would like me. Till the day I met my fience , we've been togeather for 5 years now.
You are a little young to be trying to find "the one", but maybe he is, and if he his , then he will definately accept you for who you are and love your body.
hope I could help.
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