A
female
age
30-35,
*rivateGirl
writes:I started to date this guy, he's 26 and I'm 18. I was really excited because my friends is going out with his brother and it also happened that we had a lot in common. So tonight we were on a date and things got kind of heated and we ended up having sex. I know it was too soon but it was just in the moment. After the sex he decided to tell me that he's not looking for anything serious. It's not that I am but I would like to think that if things went well we could progress to something like that. He told me that he had a great time and asked me where I want to go from here as in should we continue or continue but slow it down or just leave it as a one night thing. I'm so confused, I have no idea what to do. I like this guy but I'm afraid it's going to end up as casual sex situation which isn't for me. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, vospie  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 I think most people are saying it right here. A guy won't be interested after he's had sex. It's not that he doesn't like you but you didn't give him anything to respect and he got the sex too easily; guys switch off at that point. The truth is, girl convos can be a bit tedious so guys have to get used to that first. If he knows somewhere down the line, he will have sex, then he will endure all the conversation and the rest. In time, (whilst he's still waiting for sex), he gets to realise that this girl actually is interesting and likeable by that time, he's desperate for sex but not because of the physical stuff but because he's really into your personality as well. You didn't give the guy time to love your personality. That's something that will take a much longer time to lose interest in once he like it but your body, well he's seen it, done it!
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (8 May 2012):
 OP, this adult man took advantage of your young age and used you. He knew he could sweet talk you into sex, because you were flattered and excited by the attention of an older man. he saw an easy target and took it, sadly.
He has no intention of dating you or being your boyfriend.
My advice would be to stick with boys your own age. A man of 26 is not looking to have a relationship with a teenage girl. Regardless of the things you do have in common, it is not enough and will not be the basis of a relationship.
He now knows you will give him sex, regardless of commitment, so he will keep pushing for it. If you are happy with being used for casual sex, then continue to see this idiot. If you want a boyfriend, walk away - because he will never be one.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (8 May 2012):
He took advantage of your youth and inexperience and then tried to smooth things over by being "straight" with you.
My view is that he should have been straight with you beforehand.
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A
female
reader, PrivateGirl +, writes (8 May 2012):
PrivateGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone, your advice means more to me than I can say!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): It's casual sex or nothing OP, he has made it very clear to you he wants nothing more. More sex not will change his mind, more dating won't either. OP count yourself lucky this guy was straight with you from the start. He's given you the opportunity to walk away.
Just remember in the future OP, while there is nothing wrong with getting caught up in the moment it makes most of us guys not want anything more with you. We've gotten the prize why run the race?
Look just talk to him, tell him you're interested in dating, you're not interested in a casual sex and it's not going to happen. See what he says but if you really want to protect yourself here, then don't let the moment get away from you again because it's very easy to get caught up in a casual situation through having lots of moments you just let yourself go.
I must say OP it's very hard for us guys to believe a girl when she says she doesn't want something casual after a one night stand. We know we can press her buttons pretty easily and as long as we get her alone we'll get sex. Make sure you have the talk with him make sure he's willing to date and if he says he is then completely reset the clock by only having public dates and not being alone together for a few weeks, if he's a good guy then he will keep seeing you beyond sex, if you keep handing it to him on a plate then he can use you all he wants guilt free because he told you the deal in the beginning.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (8 May 2012):
 Hi,
Well it is a casual sex thing because he doesn't want anything heavy. It's your choice, if you do not want this then you must end things.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 Well, of course it's going to end up as a casual sex situation, he told you that's what he wants and nothing more. I'd chalk it up to experience and " heat of the moment ", and let it go.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 May 2012):
Well, of course it's going to end up as a casual sex situation, he told you that's what he wants and nothing more. I'd chalk it up to experience and " heat of the moment ", and let it go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): "I'm afraid it's going to end up as casual sex situation which isn't for me."
Sorry, but if he told you he's not looking for anything serious AFTER successfully maneuvering you into bed with him, then it already IS a "casual sex situation." If you "would like to think that if things went well we could progress to something like that," then you shouldn't have
allowed yourself to be used as such an easy lay.
Guys don't respect chicks who don't respect themselves. He's already had you without much effort on his part, don't expect anything more from him because he's certainly not expecting anything more from you.
And why is a 26-year-old even be messing around with someone who's barely legal?
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (8 May 2012):
 tell him you are not the type of girl to have casual sex, you just got caught up in the moment, and you don't intend for it to happen again. say if he does not want to take you out and treat you properly, then he is not for you. Unless you only want a casual fling, don't ever settle for that in the hopes it might go somewhere. it usually won't. if a guy really likes you, he will respect you for knowing what you want and not settling for less.
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