A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, my girlfriend broke up with me about thirty days ago. After the break things were cool until about a week later when we were hanging out and she was blatantly flirting with another guy. The next morning I explained that I thought it was rude and uncalled for of her to do it in front of me because it happened in my own home and I was still attached to her and I still loved her. She became very angry with me and told me never to try and impress her again, as I was sending her flowers and cards every so often. I believe she said this mostly out of anger. Thus far I have not spoken with her or made any sort of contact, however I still love her. Eventually, I want to meet her for coffee or something light. When I do this how do I go about being subtle with my emotions and not over zealous in my creed to win her back? How do I re-spark her interest in me??
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 it does seem like she has moved on flooding her with flowers and cards has probably pushed her away further from you she probably just wants to stay your friend so she still has someone to talk too.
i wouldn't try anything though as she will probably just want out and not even want to be your friend.
just play it cool and talk as friends that's probably what she's looking to do :)
good luck
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 March 2009):
She seems to be moving on, and thinks of you as a friend who she can flirt around.
Obviously you were not ready for that and it was a little insensitive of her not to realise - or it could have been her way of introducing the fact that she is not interested any more.
You don't say WHY she broke up with you. That is going to be the major factor in winning her back.
Find out what you did wrong and then fix that. I have to say your chances are low but if you are taking her on a coffee date then just try and be the guy you were when she first met.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, CandyCakes +, writes (18 March 2009):
Uh, it sounds like she's done with you and that she wants to move on. I don't think you'll be getting her back. Possibly she wasn't even trying to hurt your feelings when she was flirting, she's back on the market and likely rebounding.
You should talk with her and tell her you still want to pursue a relationship. If she says she won't consider it, just let her go. If she wants to try, then go that route...
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A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (18 March 2009):
 You can't force her to feel something she doesn't. Give her time to miss you, and let her contact you.
Without knowing the whole situation, I would also hazard a guess that she may have flirted with another guy in front of you specifically to get a reaction out of you. Not necessarily to make you jealous, but maybe to show you that she wanted, and was ready, to move on. If that's the case she should have just told you that, but sometimes people don't have the courage to do what's right, and instead try to force your hand.
Either way, if she is willing to disrespect you that much, then you don't need her.
Breaking up is hard, especially when you love someone. What you need to do now is take care of yourself and fill your life with new people and activities.
Who knows, once she sees that you are moving on, it may be the push she needs to see that she misses you.
Just take care of yourself first, you'd be surprised how things fall into place when you're happy with yourself and your life.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (18 March 2009):
 She broke up with you. She's not interested in you anymore. You have to get over it. You can't re-spart interest in someone who broke up with you. If anything, maybe giving her space and ignoring her might work.
Good luck.
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