A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:im not sure if this is rape... i was messing around with a guy and he started touching me...i didnt care about that but then he started putting it in and i was trying to push him off me at the hips but he was too strong.. i kept asking him to get off but he said dont worry the pain will ease so i gave in.. he asked if i wanted round 2 i said no and he goes why not and the whole thing happened again except i didnt put up a fight this time.. is this rape and can i press charges Reply to this Question
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male
reader, steve jones +, writes (30 August 2010):
You said no he didnt listen (i didnt put up a fight this time)
i can understand your comment but no means no this guy took advantage of you and basically forced himself on you, you said no he didnt listen, this is a dangerous man.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (29 August 2010):
 This all depends on how old you are. If you are 13, it will have a very different baring to if you are 15.
Yes it is rape. Any act of sexual intercourse where one party said no, is rape.
In the UK, it is ILLEGAL for anyone under the age of 16 to have any type of sexual relationship. That includes touching (which you didnt have a problem with). Any type of sexual act including fingering, hand jobs, oral sex (blowjobs), or penetration of the vagina, anus, or any other orafice. It is all illegal under the age of 16.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/age_of_consent
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents
Because you are under 16, legally you cannot consent to sex. Even if you had said yes, technically it would still be rape.
This is where your age may be important. If you are 13, then the guy doesnt have a leg to stand on. You are a child, and can not understand what he was doing. Anything he did to you would be classed as a sexual offence. He would be punished. However it also matters how old HE is. If he is over 16, or over 18 the punishments would be different. If he is only 13 then there would be less strict punishments.
If you are 13 he could go to jail for life - IF there is enough evidence.
If you are under 16 but over 13, then it could be up to 14 years jail.
BUT if you are 15, nearly 16, you may have more trouble. Sadly, many girls of your age like to indulge in underage sex, so there is a fine line. To punish everyone under the age of 16 who engaged in sexual intercourse would be almost impossible. Remember, technically sex under 16 is illegal, even if you say yes.
However, because you didnt stop him touching you, you let him, and I expect were "making out" and only said no to the act of penetration he may be able to suggest that you gave him the come on and said yes, only to change your mind after the fact.
Sadly there are many girls who have sex, then cry rape in order to get their own back, and many men have their lives ruined because of silly girls. The law is a complex business.
But if you said no, and he carried on, then it is rape. You need to talk to your parents, a teacher, a trusted adult, and they will be able to get you the help you need. But please be prepared that you may not get any satisfaction and he may not be punished. If you cannot prove it, then the police can do nothing.
In future, until you are 16, stay away from any kind of sexual touching, that way no guy can get the wrong impression. Rape is a terrible thing, so do not encourage it by giving the impression you are ok with it. Teenage boys are full of hormones and they will push to get what they want. Dont be so open to them.
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A
male
reader, James the Rocket  +, writes (28 August 2010):
It is rape. How old is he?
You may have a hard time proving it is rape. Tell your father or some other guy and see if they can't just give him a hiding.
In the USA he would be staring at 40 years gaol, or life without parole. Mike Tyson only got 4 years because the Judge didn't agree with the verdict. Their courts are unfair, too, often convicting people on mere say-so.
This is a very bad crime, but those penalties are way too harsh. Since you are in Britain, I would say the penalty will be something like 8 years gaol, enough for justice, but he will still have a life afterwards.
I think you will struggle to prove his crime, as Britain's courts require firm evidence. So get some male friend or friends to give him a good old fashioned belting.
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A
female
reader, Sunshinee':) +, writes (27 August 2010):
 This is Rape, press charges immediately. Oh my god, you poor girl "/ I hope to high heaven that he gets what he deserves and I hope that you're okay x
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A
female
reader, Elydiese +, writes (26 August 2010):
Yes this was rape tell your parents and press chargesagainst this disgusting creature. good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Shannon_MM  +, writes (26 August 2010):
This is most definitely rape. Press charges. NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week, call your local police NOW.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 August 2010):
Yes, this was rape. You're also under-age as well.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 August 2010):
 You can file charges. How did round 2 happen? You need to understand that when you're messing around and allowing him to touch you sexually, emotions change to being heated. I'm not blaming you. When you tried pushing him off, and asked him to, he should have, because you have the right to decide if something enters inside of you or not. He does not have the right to make that decision for you, but I want you to understand that when you mess around can put you in situations that you may not want to be in. It is important for you to set clear boundaries with guys you might mess around with. Let them know, it's okay to do this, but I don't want to have sex, and do this before you even begin, so that they know how far you will accept them going. It is okay to state what you want and what you don't before anything gets going. That way, even in the heat of the moment, he'll know what your boundaries are, and if he respects you, as this guy did not, he will not cross the boundaries that you have set. And remember, no means no, so don't give in where that's not what you want to do. Your body, you're in charge. If that can't be respected, you don't need to associate with them. I'm sorry this happened to you, and there are guys out there who will have nothing other than the highest respect for you, so don't develop the perception that because this happened, that all guys must be the same. I hope this helps. Take care.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 You said no and he continued to force you into it. Yes, you can and you definitely SHOULD press charges!
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): This is rape. You asked him to stop and he didn't. The second time you told him no and he still went ahead with it. Tell your parents (or a close/trusted adult) and they can help and advise you on what to do next. Don't talk to this boy again, try and avoid these situations unless you are 100% certain it's what you want. Good luck and I'm really sorry about what has happened to you. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): Rape is when a man intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another without consent, he doest have the person's permission or reasonably believes that permission was given.Under the given circumstances and taking all things into consideration.If you gave him to touch you then that's where the consent ends, the first time you said that you said no then you gave in and did not struggle but the act was already done that is rape because you did not give him permission to penetrate you.It does not matter if their was a struggle or not. You position was clear.I trust you will make the right decision.
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A
male
reader, Pantherfan +, writes (26 August 2010):
Well that would depend on the laws there, In America, that's clearly not only rape, but statutory rape as well, because of your age. Hopefully, someone in the UK can come forward with local laws.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): Yes I would call it rape when you say no and he takes it anyway.
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