A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl at a house party on monday. She added me on facebook and then sent me a message on it which I replied.I'm fairly keen on her and I'f like to ask her out (will have a convo on facebook first before I consider). However I have a few problemsOne is that I don't want to be too forward in that she migh find it off putting but at the same time I don't want to just lag on and remain in the "friend zone"The other is that she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago and from my last attempt to ask a girl out in a similar situation although I had known her longer, she wasn't ready for another boyfriend.The latter is the main one I'm apprehensive about (I'm 23 she's 21 btw).Any ideas what to do?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Just because the last gal wasn't ready doesn't mean the same is true here. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend, ask her on a date, because that can remain platonic or it can develop into something more. Just say that you enjoy talking to her, and want to see if you two can get together for dinner or a drink so you can chat in person. If she says she's not ready for a boyfriend, just affirm that you're not trying to get her to do something she's not ready for, and that two friends can join each other for a meal, or drinks or whatever, without expecting anything further to happen. I've had dinner with friends in the past, mainly because I was a single parent, and when I wouldn't have my kids and wanted to eat out I would take a friend to dinner for the company. I don't like sitting at a restaurant alone. I did pay for their dinner as well, but that was a small price to pay for having their company during dinner. So, don't push it as if you're trying to get her as a girlfriend, just as friends and see where it goes from there.
A
male
reader, Pantherfan +, writes (26 August 2010):
How long had she been in this relationship, there's a big difference in a breakup when someone was in a relationship for a couple years or more, and someone in a relationship for a couple months. Perhaps it might be a good idea to ask her our to lunch, something a little less formal than a typical date and just discuss things with her openly.
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