A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey i have just turend 13 in december and just found out i am pregnant since I am really young and only just started my period in november i had sex in march and only slept with one lad a dont know what to do but i dont want an abortion but in away i think it will be cool to dress them up and push them about and show them off to mates but a dont know how to tell my family because i come from a family who have been to oxford unii but i always knew a wud be differant because i have a life n go out with me mate on the weekend n do wah us teens do (yeahh even if this means sleepen with someone just to fit in like i did) this lads also 13 and it was a dare but a dont really talk about sex to my dad so i thought the rumers were true that you carnt get pregnant first time n thaa...also i havent come on to get judged n tha so dnt bothaa judging me all get anuff of thaa wen a tell me dad anyways please help fromlucy in oxfordx
View related questions:
abortion, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): Ya I am 15 and got pregnant when I was 13 too. It was really tought beacause I was debating three things : abortion adoption or keeping it. I totally ruled out abortion. I told my parents and we all sat down encluding my bffl and my boyfriend. We all decided what I should do and what would be best for my and my boyfriend's child. I gave it up for adoption but me and my boyfriend visit Sophie (our daughter) everyonce in a while, get updates on her and photos. Actually I am really happy with the decission I made.
I was very irresponsible to get pregnant at such a young age. I went to my boyfriends house after school and we were kissing and then makeing out and the one thing lead to a nother. I am still ashamed of what I did but I beleive the everything happens for a reason.
My parents were really supportive the whole way, I can't imaging what it would be like if sopie got pregnant at 13. I wouldn't want it for my daughter. It was very tough and emotional time for me and my boyfriend.
I hope that you chose the right path and what you thing would be best for your child. Keep me updated, if you don't mind. If you have any questions u can ask them. HOpe this helped.
Luck
xxoo
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (7 May 2009):
 good luck with everything and keep us posted x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have already told the dad and my mam and dad i wrote a letter like someone said and when i came home there was a letter on my bed saying ' we will be there for you' then they came in and gave me a hug and started t cry i could tell my dad was peed off but he never said nothing.
i am thinking about when it comes for it to be took into care and up for adoption as it will get a better life then from me because what can i do, no job or nothing i havent decided yet i am going to look into it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): There is absolutley nothing cool or cute about this. You are prgnant and it is your fault. I am so sorry for being this brutal but you need to face the facts. You need to tell somebody and figure out what to do with them. If your not comfetable telling ur dad yet tell somebody you are comftorable around and like weather it is a teacher, nurse, family friend, dad etc... You should also tell the father.
I hope this isn't to late and I hope I helped good luck! I hope everything turns out.
...............................
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (5 May 2009):
 They only tell social services so you can have support and benifits so the child has a good quality of life. You won't be in trouble, i've had friends who have had children.
Go to the doctor who will keep it confidental and you can get a abortion on the NHS.
Just don't do anything like that for a dare. Have respect for yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, pooh14  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 I am not really trying to critcize you or nothing but to tell you the truth me being a 14 year old girl won't do anything like that for a dare or just to fit in..i will do it when i am ready..you really dont need nobody else to tell you what to do..you are the judge of what you do and if you feel that you want to have sex then thats just fine but do it PROTECTED..im not saying i never had sex but do it because you want to not because nobody tell you to...
...............................
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (2 May 2009):
your going to have to tell somebody, if you tell the nurse & they inform social services your parents will find out from them, im sure they would rather hear from you.
it sounds horrible but the longer you leave this (if you want an abortion) the harder its going to be. This problem isnt going to go away & the more your worrying about it the worse its making it.
If you really cant tell them face to face leave them a letter before you go to school - that way they have time to think it through before you see them.
You cant keep it to yourself forever, even if you dont want to keep this child you still need medical attention.
X
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (2 May 2009):
 Does it matter if the Nurse goes to social services? Why are you so scared of them? Social services are there to help people like you!
Why not take a look at their website and actually see what they do: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Hl1/Help/Socialservices/index.htm
I'm guessing you still haven't told your parents either have you?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni can not go to school nurse they tell social services if you are under 14 .. and i dont have £450
...............................
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (28 April 2009):
ask your doctor
...............................
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (28 April 2009):
Go to your local family planning clinic.
Ask your school nurse for details of where they are.
If you want a private abortion they cost about £450.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am debating an abortion where do you go for them
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncan a just say armymedic they are my real family and just coz i am not that bright you think they not well anyways i have sat that boy down told him and his mam and she is taking me to the clinic today to book me in for a scan n all that
...............................
A
female
reader, love'me  +, writes (16 April 2009):
tbh, i know its easy saying it from my point of veiw because im not in your situation but if i was i would get n abortion. showing the baby of to you mates and dressing it up isn't what having a baby is all about. its a life commitment and it would be best for you to settle down, get a job maybe and earn some money before you think bout hving a kid. also it will ruin your education and what not. are you with the boy you hd sex with? do you think he will support you and be thre for the child? you really need to think about this decision.
hope it all does well. good luck x.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): ok first of all its not right to want to b pregnant because you want to show them of and i am not judging you .if i were you i would sit the lad down and see wat he wants to do .if he wants abortion then u should conciderate it.and i would most definatly tell your dad so he can help you with this very difficult decission
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Hey sweety ... You really messed up ... But everything will be okay. Just have the baby and give it up for adoption. Simple as that!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You WILL have to tell your parents. You will eventually show. ( that means get a big belly).The fetus INSIDE your body needs prenatal care, such as regular check ups and vitamins. Pregnancies in the very young, and YES, you are in that category... is not always safe. You might have to get prepared for things like C-section, due to the fact that most young women do not have a well developed pelvis for giving natural birth.You want a living doll.. well you better start NOW to take care of her/him. Start with telling your parents.Getting pregnant on a dare is so childish and stupid that I am already worried for your offspring...
...............................
A
female
reader, kissxmexagainx +, writes (14 April 2009):
 there is a lot more to having a child than dressing them up && showing them off. it's hard work. I mean you're pregnant now && you don't want an abortion so don't let anyone talk you into it. have you considered adoption? you could even choose the parents. if you decide to keep the baby, let me tell you right now, you have to grow up. I can tell from your post that you are just a child. You're going to have to give the rest of your childhood up. Yes, some girls have babies at 13 or 14 && still act like kids. but they are terrible parents && in most cases their parents end up doing most of the work. talk to your parents. they will be upset && angry, but they will get over it. it's how parents are. If you have any pregnancy questions send me an e-mail ok? [I'm 6 months pregnant && 18 years old]
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I can't believe you think it would be cool to have a baby at 13! I really don't think you understand the severity of having a child. It is a life solely depending on you-not a doll.You are still a kid-I'm not meaning to be harsh but you are going to have a tough time if you keep the baby.You need to tell your parents. If they find out when you are showing the signs it'll be worse.I think you've (i hope) learned an important lesson here-you must be really scared but your chilish attitude thinking it'll be cool to dress a child up is one you need to crush right now. You need to grow up fast now if you are going to be able to cope with a baby. Tell your parents, they'll help you. Yes you made a mistake but you can overcome it-don't feel you can't, you can, but you will need help.Amry medic-you make me laugh(double dare you!)All the best
...............................
A
female
reader, Katy. +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Well what did you expect?You had sex and you obviously wern't careful enough which shows you wern't ready in the first place. I don't think you realise what a responsibility this actually is, giving birth will be hard enough but then raising a child at 13.You had better have a good family to help you through all of this because no way can you do this on your own, it's not just about dressing them up and showing them off, its about feeding them, caring for them, getting up at God knows what hours and most of all raising a good enough child which you can hopefully prevent from doing the same thing.If I got pregnant at fifteen I'd be in a mess right now, nevermind at thirteen.if you are deffinate of keeping this child you need everyone you can by your side, including your dad whether he likes it or not, he's your dad and this is also his duty to support you.And next time; be careful!Was this dare actually worth it ?I think you'll start to realise that it surely wasn't.Katy x
...............................
A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 haha army medic i soooo loved your advise
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (14 April 2009):
"i think it will be cool to dress them up and push them about and show them off to mates" ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!
You have to go to a Doctor and tell your parents, they will be angry but they are educated intelligent people (which is surprising looking at your post - are they adopted parents?)
You are acting and sounding like a silly little girl.... I double dare you to tell your parents - there now you have to do it!
...............................
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (14 April 2009):
it might be cool to dress it up & show off to your friends but will it be cool when your getting up loads during the night? Or when your mates are all going to partys without you because you cant get a sitter?
You need to think about whats best for you and this baby. If i fell pregnant i wouldnt be able to have an abortion but have you thought of adoption?
A baby needs lots of things, who would provide them? I know when i was 13 the only money i had was my pocket money.
Would the father & his family be there to support you and the baby?
I have a sister around your age & my family would go mad if she got pregnant, even though she has got a long term boyfriend. Thats because she isnt mature enough yet, she likes to sleep in on a weekend & go out with her mates just like you do.
Are you ready to give all that up?
Whatever you decide i wish you luck
Keep us posted
c x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You're not the only young girl to make a mistake and have to suffer the consequences, so you are not alone. You are obviously scared. From what you said about 'showing off' the baby I can tell that you are naive and perhaps too immature to be a proper mother to this baby.I admire your decision to not have an abortion so perhaps you should consider adoption or fostering. But if you decided to keep the baby, you would have a lot of growing up to do in a very short space of time. My sister was 15 when she first became pregnant and kept the baby, who is now 11. If she can do it then so can you.I know it is difficult to talk about and they won't be happy, but you have to tell you're parents. You are their responsibility and they need to help you. I hope that I have helped? x
...............................
A
male
reader, Livelife +, writes (14 April 2009):
I'm sorry, that's a hard situation. You will have to tell your parents so that they can offer support, both emotional and financial support no matter what you choose to do. Myths like that about not getting pregnant on your first try cause a lot of problems. Please continue to educate yourself if you plan on having sex more in the future. I hope things work out, and I hope this was helpful.
...............................
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (14 April 2009):
I'm not going to judge you as i know what its like to try to fit in. You need to learn to be yourself and don't pretend to be someone who you are not. I bet your a lovely person, try to find yourself. You were made to be individual.
Having a baby won't just be its cool to dress them up and show them off to your friends, your baby isn't going to be a toy, its a human being like you, it needs to be loved and cared for.
This must be so hard for you, you need to talk to your parents, my friend got pregnant and she got a trusted teacher to help tell her parents with her.
You have to think what is going to be bst for you and this baby. You need GCSE to get a job and to support this child and yourself through life. Talk to your parents, they are alot more understanding than you think, they were 13 once aswell and i bet they weren't angels! You can go to school and bring up a child but its going to be hard studying and getting up at 3am to change your childs nappy.
Talk to your parents and your school nurse, theres lots of help out there for you, don't be scared to ask for it. Good luck babe
Livia
xxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You need to tell your parents. Yes, they are going to be upset and angry as a child at your age is a lot to cope with. You talk about dressing the baby up etc., please understand that a baby is not a doll! You took the decision to have unprotected sex so now you need to make a decision as to what you are going to do. Incidentally, sex with a minor is a punishable offence!
...............................
|
