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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Would you find it offensive to be told you are his first black girl?
Q. I am a black single female who is born and bred in a multi-cultural city. I date/pursue men who I am initially attracted to and this can be of any race different to my own. I have noticed that on more than a few occasions if I become close with a ...
A. 2 November 2012: I'm biracial, but still, most people just see that as "black". I've gotten a few of those, and yeah - it offends me too. I feel the same way. Why do you have to say that? Are you counting? Is this some sort of big event for you?
I'm just a person... (read in full...)
After sex I feel like I have used my girlfriend
Q. everytime i make love to my girlfriend after i climax i feel really bad like i have used her a sense of failure and disgust, does every guy feel that ??...
A. 31 October 2012: Is your girlfriend willing and enthusiastic? If she's not having a good time, or is just having sex to placate you, then that may be why. This is not to accuse you of abusing her, but if she's not showing you that she's having fun too - that might ... (read in full...)
What are your best survival tips to help you and your loved ones in a Super Storm like Sandy?
Q. to all the wonderful people in Dear Cupid affected by Super Storm Sandy my Good Wishes to you. Such natural events can have repercussions on family life, relationships, friendships and cause personal pain. Wherever you are, if you've missed fl...
A. 31 October 2012: I'm in Upstate NY, and got off pretty light. Just a bunch of rain - but not terrible wind or anything like some other places.
Plenty of advice - if a lot of damage has happened, don't go splashing in puddles. If any wires are down, then all of t... (read in full...)
Could my hunch be right? Could he turn into a stuffy old man who doesn't know how to love life and enjoy life
Q. I have a new boyfriend and I feel really comfortable with him. But something bothers me. He does not seem to have many friends. Perhaps no close friends at all. He talk about work colleagues. It's as if he arrived in this world and never made ...
A. 31 October 2012: Hmm...
Well, I do think that sometimes opposites attract for a good reason. If he's a little uptight and doesn't know how to socialize, then it could be good for him to be balanced out by someone who is more relaxed and social. You can teach hi... (read in full...)
Does he love and respect me or just want sex?
Q. Im a 15 yr old and im a virgin. My bf is 17 and he is not a virgin. We have been dating for 2yrs now, we have a problem now everytime when we are alon he always try to have sex with me,i don't allow him. He will say "i knew it you don't want to make ...
A. 31 October 2012: He's saying this probably because this is his new tactic to get you to have sex with him. To make you feel guilty and like you have to "prove" yourself to him. Bottom line: he is being a jerk.
Frankly, if he's being this pushy and mean and does... (read in full...)
I want to make new friends but can't seem to do so
Q. hi, this is just a list of my feeling and i would like to know if anyone has any ideas on how to help me get out of this rut. ok so i used to have a group of good friends but they went to university and i stayed here and its not easy to travel t...
A. 28 October 2012: Get involved with more stuff! Like maybe, volunteer at a local theater. They always needs folks - techies, ushers, even actors (if you're into that). You can meet a lot of awesome people there working alongside of you, not to mention the audiences ... (read in full...)
Choosing between 2 men
Q. Who should I choose .... One is attractive, financialy and career stable, more serious about me and the future, loved by my parents, love him but sucks in bed The other is less attractive, less serious, can make plans forever, my family dont like...
A. 28 October 2012: A sexual partner can be trained to be an expert. A difficult relationship will always be difficult. ... (read in full...)
Is giving a blow job to another guy cheating? My Bf is getting all worked up about what I did.
Q. This is just a quick one so you guys can help see my bf that he is over reacting. We've been going out for just over 1 year and we are very much in love. at the start of the relationship we did everything that we could possibly do both socially an...
A. 22 October 2012: Then clearly, you two are perfect for each other. ... (read in full...)
Is giving a blow job to another guy cheating? My Bf is getting all worked up about what I did.
Q. This is just a quick one so you guys can help see my bf that he is over reacting. We've been going out for just over 1 year and we are very much in love. at the start of the relationship we did everything that we could possibly do both socially an...
A. 20 October 2012: Clinton was the perfect example. In the court of law it was determined that a BJ is cheating. It's third base because it's 3/4th most intimate you can get. It's called oral SEX because it is a form of sex. You can get just as many STI's from oral ... (read in full...)
Should ask him outright if he regrets what happened between us? He's a work colleague.
Q. Hey cupids! Ill just jump into it, I have been good friends with my colleague *rob at work since he started 2 years ago. We have always been quite close, always having a laugh and can talk about things we can't with many other people. In the la...
A. 19 October 2012: WTF?!?
Okay, frankly I'd be pissed too if I slept with a guy and then he had the nerve to basically say:
"Of course I don't regret it. I got to have sex! But don't think I actually want to be with you. I just like having someone at work ... (read in full...)
Should ask him outright if he regrets what happened between us? He's a work colleague.
Q. Hey cupids! Ill just jump into it, I have been good friends with my colleague *rob at work since he started 2 years ago. We have always been quite close, always having a laugh and can talk about things we can't with many other people. In the la...
A. 18 October 2012: Don't feel bad about his housemate. If not making him feel bad ruins a potentially great relationship, well that just sucks. You two really like each other! You have good chemistry, you get along well, it seems that you have a good thing going. If ... (read in full...)
I don’t think I can ever respect another woman again.
Q. Right now my brain is the midst of a battle...Why? It’s because I’m somehow beginning to see women in a completely different light than I did before. Long story short, Wednesday at work, the topic of women came up. In my office there are 3 guys and...
A. 13 October 2012: "Are you cheating on me?" - Tell me the truth.
"Do you love me?" - Tell me the truth.
"Were there strippers at the bachelor party?" - Tell me the truth.
"Who was that girl that called you?" - Tell me the truth.
"Do you think my best friend... (read in full...)
If I share some secrets with her will it be the right thing to do, or will it freak her out? And what should I do about my depression?
Q. So I have this thing where I feel like I need to completely share myself with my girlfriend. I want to so desperately, but there are some things deep down that I just can't bring myself to share, for fear of judgement or complications in the rela...
A. 13 October 2012: You really are normal. None of this is shocking or perverted.
Lots of kids have sexual fantasies. I mean, Freud had a field day with developing sexuality in childhood. It's perfectly normal. As for your little experimental stuff with your bro... (read in full...)
Relationship issues: why do I always allow girls to make me feel bad? It makes me feel ill.
Q. My question is quite simple - why do i always let girls make me feel bad? what i mean is i fall for a girl really easily and then i get so disappointed when it doesnt work out. Its happened so many times now. The most recent - id started seei...
A. 13 October 2012: The first poster kept it short and simple and they were right. It's perfectly normal and healthy to be disappointed when it doesn't work out with someone you like. But, it's not healthy to take it out on yourself and your own self-esteem. Learning ... (read in full...)
Once people change do they ever change back?
Q. When someone changes, do they ever change back? I ask because I was extremely good friends with a guy. He was a strict christain, he cared for and helped people, and he had strict value against no sex unless you're contemplating marriage. It was...
A. 13 October 2012: Hi there,
I'm a PK ("Preacher's Kid") and I see this happen an awful lot. Generally the straight-laced Christian kids end up rebelling and when they do - it's pretty severe. It's actually pretty normal. Most of the time, they come back - like mos... (read in full...)
Is this bad? "Virgin" girlfriend has kissed 80 guys!! What does this say about her?
Q. Is it bad that my girlfriend is only just turned 20 and has kissed around 80 guys. She says it's nothing bad because she's still a virgin, so it's not like she slept around, but that kissing was harmless fun. But what do you guys think? I find it...
A. 9 October 2012: I used to kiss LOTS of guys. All through high school - naturally, Truth or Dare & Spin the Bottle added substantially to that number - but still. But I only went further than that with a few boys, and only went past second with 2 - one of which I ... (read in full...)
My Gf claims she had relations with a woman and guy just watched. How can I tell if she is telling the truth about this?
Q. My GF told me she was intimate with another woman when we were first dating casually. She said it was set up by a guy friend she met online and casually dated, but was never interested in. The other woman was also a friend of this guy and met him ...
A. 9 October 2012: Frankly, I believe her - only because I did something very similar long ago. (Don't even ask.) Some men enjoy being voyeurs, they just want to watch. They might touch you briefly - and in line with the "rules" just to reinforce that it's real - like ... (read in full...)
How do I tell a girl how I feel about her?
Q. I really like this girl, who happens to be the daughter of my dad's workmate. I first met her about this time last year and have met her again since. Both times, she left me with the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. I felt awkward about ...
A. 8 October 2012: Hi!
You start a conversation by saying, "hi, how are you?". That's always a good beginning. Saying ANYTHING, really. And if you want to start it over Facebook, then go ahead and do it. Then, I would not waste a lot of time (weeks) building... (read in full...)
Is it too late to tell her how I feel?
Q. I've got a friend who I became unusually close to a couple of years ago. We begun talking intimately on an almost 24/7 basis. I started to get quite intense feelings for her and had a sense that she might of felt the same - although neither of us ...
A. 8 October 2012: Yep, if she's seeing someone don't tell her. Chalk that up as a missed opportunity. But if she's available, then just ask her out on a date! If she says yes, great - and if she says no, then you're pretty much back to where you started.
It's ... (read in full...)
I have a great g/f but I'm bored. Do I keep her or let her go?
Q. Here's the Story. I'v been With this girl for almost 2 years, And she treats me better then gold and It's hard to find a girl that good. but must have gotten bored and my gf isn't big but she has curves I like thin in shape girls. Her sister i...
A. 8 October 2012: Goodness gracious, your poor girlfriend. Like Cindy says, she's got boyfriend who would hook up with her sister(s), and sisters who would hook up with her boyfriend! I hope she's got some friends she can trust, because she definitely can't trust her ... (read in full...)
I really liked this guy, but then I found he is still in love with his ex - who happens to be my new best friend!
Q. So, I've recently made some new friends at my school and they are literally amazing. They take me to all the coolest parties and introduce me to the best people. Recently, I meet this guy that I really like. He is good looking, sweet, and an amazing ...
A. 8 October 2012: Agreed!! This is a disaster and an emotional wreck just waiting to happen. I'd cast your eyes elsewhere for now!... (read in full...)
He's nice to me but then he's nice to everyone. Could he like me?
Q. I sort of like a guy at my church. He's about 7 years older than me and single. He's invited me to parties but he's never asked me out. He always offers me a ride home from the parties (I live out of his way) but, when I don't accept, he tries to ...
A. 8 October 2012: I'm not sure that I would say he's not interested. It's hard to tell - especially over the internet and not being able to see how he interacts with you.
Maybe you should try asking him out to coffee or something? Or take him up on his offer to... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has been extremely moody lately and I don't know what to do
Q. ok so me and my gf has been dating for 2 years we have broke up a few times for space and 1 time bc i cheated. things have been great till the past 2 months, everything is comein back up. well now its like she wants to be with me, like she loves me...
A. 8 October 2012: It sounds like you've made effort, you've tried, but it's just not working. The fact that you guys have been off and on, off and on, makes me think that perhaps it's just not meant to be.
It could be that she is having a hard time forgivin... (read in full...)
What kind of sexy lingerie should I buy? I feel fat!
Q. i really need help, me and my partner are going away for the weekend to see his family and staying in a hotel. hes paying and the thing is he wants me to wear sumthing sexy well where in the hotel, i dont have a clue what to wear as have never do...
A. 26 September 2012: Corsets are great if you're feeling sensitive about your tummy area. I can not recommend them enough! I love Victoria's Secret, but Fredrick's of Hollywood is definitely the place to go for a corset.
You'll have to adjust to it - they're definite... (read in full...)
I saw a picture he had drawn for an ex and it hurt me, how do I feel more secure about the past?
Q. Me and my boyfriend use online art sites because we both love drawing and makings things and both of us have online galleries where we share our art with friends. I was looking through my boyfriends gallery and looked at a piece that was from 6 ...
A. 25 September 2012: If it's artwork, I would assume that he just really likes the piece he did, and wants to show off his talents - not feelings for an old flame. I married and artist, and he still has plenty of paintings from times and women past. I don't mind - ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as true love? Does it exist?
Q. Hi. So i got a real quick question to ask. Does true love really exist? or is it just what people create when they are in public in order to hide their problems? I mean ive never experienced true love myself neither do my parents. They are always on ...
A. 24 September 2012: Love exists! But love is work. It's not always cuddly and perfect. People will disagree - that's just life. Fights happen. It's just how you work through them that dictates the healthiness and success of your relationship.
I think "true love" ha... (read in full...)
How can I tell my parents that when I finish university I want to take up the guitar professionally? They will have to pay $40,000 a year for me to do so.....
Q. Hi, this isn't a relationship question but I'd really like some outside opinions on this problem. I am currently attending university, studying criminology and going into my 3rd year. However back when I started 1st year I had started to play ...
A. 18 September 2012: My father is world renowned professional guitar player. He is regarded as a genius in his field, and I'm not just saying that because I'm his kid. But - the fact that he is a master has never meant consistent money - being a serious musician usually ... (read in full...)
I cant stay over with the guy I'm seeing because I'm scared of him seeing me without make up! Help!
Q. so i've been seeing this guy and I can't stay the night with him because i'm worried about the morning after. I'm not naturally pretty, he always goes on about how beautiful and gorgeous I am... which just makes me insecure about wearing no to ...
A. 18 September 2012: I'm not sure how long you've been together, but if it's to the point where he says he loves you, he'll love you even more without the makeup - because then he gets to see the real you, and that is even more beautiful than the face you show the ... (read in full...)
We never go out on dates, he says I am too materialistic!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We are both twenty. We have had our ups and downs, to say the least. He never takes me out on dates. He says he is too poor because he needs to pay rent. But dinner or a movie once in a while? Is that ...
A. 16 September 2012: I don't think you're being dramatic. It is important to feel courted a bit and to go out together. However, you can go out on dates that don't cost him money. He could put together a picnic, take you to a local fair, you could go for a walk in the ... (read in full...)
I may have miscarried recently. It's made me want a baby. Should I wait like my Bf says? I worry waiting could destroy our relationship.
Q. I'm 18 and going to be turning 19 in 3 weeks. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for 5 years and he is turning 20 in 2 months. He was the person I lost my virginity to and we have only slept with each other. I started taking the pill as soon ...
A. 13 September 2012: All the Aunts and Uncles are right on. I just wanted to throw in that you really need to get to a doctor. Those pee on a stick tests aren't the most reliable. You should go to your doctor just to make sure you're doing alright and that you're ... (read in full...)
He is a complete jerk! Isn't he?
Q. I met this guy at a club. He had dinner and we went his place but I refused to have sex. Two days later he invited me to come to his bro'bday party. I went there but we didn't had sex. then he invited me to come over his place to watch mov...
A. 12 September 2012: Like the first person said, he just wants sex from you. So, expecting him to act like a boyfriend is unrealistic. He's already shown you what he's interested in, and has definitely demonstrated that he's not boyfriend material... so I'd stop hoping ... (read in full...)
Should I keep my boyfriend or date the other guy instead?
Q. Ok well im officially dating the boy i had liked for 6 months. Well im extremely happy about that it was official actually last month. But here`s my problem i dont have and classes with him. Since i dont have any classes with him i do have classe...
A. 8 September 2012: Ordinarily I'd say, you're young - go for it. But, you want to date a guy who "conveniently" forgot about the fact he had a girlfriend, and asked you out when you were seeing someone? Doesn't mind if you're dating two people? Girl, who is to say he ... (read in full...)
I had sex with both brothers but I'm wondering if its possible for me to be in a relationship with one of them
Q. This is the situation..I've know this guy since we were like 6 years old and you can say he was my childhood love but we never actually dated but the feelings were mutual and we just never got into a relationship with each other but I knew he had ...
A. 6 September 2012: I don't see why not... it doesn't seem to bother him or you. You both want to be something more. I see potential for messiness, depending on the classiness and maturity of his brother. But, there's no need to give up on something that both you and ... (read in full...)
What to do? I don't want our relationship to be based on amazing sex
Q. Well me and my baby's dad have crazy sexual chemistry...its off that charts... I just had a baby 3 months ago and don't want anymore for a while. But anyway because of our attraction it seems like we can't even be around each other without havi...
A. 5 September 2012: Like the others, I don't see a problem with hot chemistry between you two. That's a good thing! Just try and do things outside of the house sometimes - get a babysitter and go out to dinner, or go dancing, or take your baby out to the zoo together ... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate for an 11 year old to date?
Q. If someone is 11 should they date? ...
A. 3 September 2012: At 11, I had my first "boyfriend". It is my fondest memory ever, because we had a very sweet little relationship. We went miniature golfing with his parents, we went on the 4th of July to see fireworks with my parents, we went to a school dance ... (read in full...)
Disagreeable neighbour who is now being disrespectful to my daughter. How do I keep the peace and endure this nasty neighbor?
Q. hi everyone,i need some help here,i have been neighbours with this women from 2007 and her husband is my husbands friend. in 2009 i saw her husband. I greeted him. He ignored me. This happened several times. I asked my husband about it ,he said he ...
A. 3 September 2012: Hello!
I agree with your husband. I don't think you stepping in will do any good here, it will only increase tensions. It certainly won't make her any warmer toward you and your family! I think this is a good lesson for your daughter - no matter h... (read in full...)
I'm not depressed but I feel so numb!
Q. For the last few years i've felt incredibly numb and emotionaless, i'm not depressed, i'm genuinly a happy person, but I feel like I dont really have any emotions when it comes to major things in my life. I started feeling like this when the pe...
A. 30 August 2012: I think you're confusing what depression is. Depression can take lots of forms, and only one of them is being sad all the time. Sometimes it can manifest in the way you're expressing it - numbness.
It sounds like you've had a lot of rough sp... (read in full...)
Could what he did mean that he is interested in me?
Q. Hai everybody, Something rather serendipitous happened to me, I guess I just need advice. I may be overthinking some things, I just want some incite. So, I had officially met this guy at my creative arts school today. He's in musical t...
A. 25 August 2012: Don't fret so much!! It seems like he at least enjoys your company and wants to get to know you more. So, keep being friendly and hanging out when you can!... (read in full...)
We like each other but are from 2 different worlds
Q. He likes me, but he is conflicted because he picks on me too. Hes from a rich background and I am from a crappy "nobody in my family likes hard work" background. I don't want to be rich; hes snobby and has snobby friends. Our unspoken problem is the ...
A. 25 August 2012: If you like each other, you like each other and you should go for it. Who cares about your backgrounds? They'll only get in the way if you let them. You'll never know what you're missing if you don't try. Your economic status has a lot less to do ... (read in full...)
What makes big boobs more valuable?
Q. I have small breasts nd I hate them. I mean, they're healthy, and that's cool, but despite my feminine body still at 23 people say I look like a 10 year old boy. I don't. I have a defined waist, wide hips, a curvy butt, thick legs... I've never seen ...
A. 19 August 2012: I used to work at a strip club - as a bartender - but it was a totally interesting study of sexual attraction. One of the interesting things I observed was that the girls with the smaller chests nearly always got much more attention. They were ... (read in full...)
Friend and I fell out. OK with me. But what do I do about a wedding we will both be attending? Don't want our issues to spoil bride's day.
Q. My friend of twenty years and I had a terrible falling out. Now two years later, she wants to rehash everything, but I don't. Leading up to the "break up," we had grown apart, but I was taken by surprise with her decision to end it (via email). ...
A. 13 August 2012: I whole-heartedly agree with k_c100, and also agree that number 2 is your better option. I couldn't have laid it out better, and so I won't try. Excellent advice. Good luck!... (read in full...)
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