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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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We are fine, until we go out with friends...
Q. So I have been with my girl friend for 17 months now. We are perfect for one another when we are alone, we both feel like we are weird in our own way and it is rare to find people who get me. I do love her but recently some of her actions are making ...
A. 19 March 2013: Okay, I'm not sure that I get where you're coming from. Like, at all. Perhaps you can further explain why this irritates you so much...
But right now, I really feel bad for your girlfriend. She goes out with a group of your friends who she does... (read in full...)
My father won't approve of my white boyfriend
Q. Dearcupid, I am a black 15 year old girl and I have a 16 year old boyfriend who is white. My mom and dad said that I am not allowed to date until age 16 but my b-day is only a few months away so that's not a problem. The real problem is the f...
A. 5 March 2013: I agree that you should wait until you're 16. That's the rule. However, when you get to 16, I don't think you should break up because "what will society think" and that in case you fall in love, get married and have babies, that your children will ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend and I just split up. She does have a lot on her mind. But how can I cope with this distressing break up?
Q. Hi, Thanks for reading this, I really need some advice. My girlfriend of 1 year and a half has just split up with me. We have an amazing relationship, before christmas everything was perfect. One night before christmas, we were at her house and...
A. 3 March 2013: Boyfriends/good friends need to be supportive during hard times. And I think the best way that you can be supportive is to allow her exactly what she asks. She needs room to breathe. I'm sure having two lives in two countries is very difficult for ... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me but now I think he's avoiding me
Q. Hi guys I wanted to ask how to stop thinking a lot about someone you have a crush on but the thing is I don't actually know this person I know it sounds creepy but he goes to my school and I think it was a love at first sight type of thing. This has ...
A. 27 February 2013: I'm not judging you! It sounds like you're both painfully shy, and therefore how can we know if he likes you? Sitting closer to you in the cafeteria may just be a coincidence! It sounds like you need to break the ice, here. Go and say hello! Or if ... (read in full...)
The man I'm supposed to marry in 2 months has been cheating on me!
Q. I need help. I love my fiance and he loves me. We have been together for seven years. I recently found out he has been flirting on his job sites and got a girls number and was texting her. And he hit on a friend of ours. He keeps telling me how ...
A. 27 February 2013: Honestly, I think that "everyone" is right. I think postponing would be a good idea. You can't trust him again overnight, trust takes time to earn it and this has been a major breach of trust. Marriage will not make these issues better, believe me. ... (read in full...)
Is this guy into harmless flirting or is he using Facebook to pick up women?
Q. Ok so I know I'm not the only person with this problem!!. I'm dating this guy Who claims to be really into me. He tells me he misses me all the time, Good morning and good night texted everyday and we talk on the phone for hours! We have been on a ...
A. 27 February 2013: I guess that doesn't seem so bad. Maybe if he was saying "looking sexy", or "hot"... but I think that those aren't things to be too concerned about. At least, that's me.
It's only been a few dates, so if you're enjoying each other then I'd keep... (read in full...)
My g/f likes to flash her guy friends just for fun?
Q. My gf likes to flash her guy friends just for fun I don't care but she continueisly says that she feels bad and that she dosent want to do anything that we as a couple don't agree on she asked me if I mind and even though I say I don't care she says ...
A. 27 February 2013: I think that this is playing with fire, man. Maybe if you're at Mardi Gras, okay. But flashing her friends for sport?
First off, she feels bad and guilty about it, so that's the foremost reason why this is a bad plan. She shouldn't be doing so... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable or reasonable to have a crush on someone else whilst in a committed longterm relationship?
Q. Hi everyone. I basically just wanted to ask if it is ever acceptable or reasonable to have feelings for someone else (or a "crush", for want of a better word) whilst in a committed, long term relationship? Would this mean that the current rela...
A. 27 February 2013: Acceptable? Reasonable? It's perfectly NORMAL. You're human. You have feelings. It's all about how you act on these feelings. If you begin coming onto this person - well, then you're in trouble, and yes - then it's likely that your relationship is ... (read in full...)
Is it a communication problem? Guys do ask me out, but whenever I date it never leads to much more than the first date.
Q. I am 23 years old, Whenever I'v liked or been attracted to someone,that person has always asked me out.. I'm an attractive girl and these men compliment me a lot,but I don't know why it never leads to relationships! Its just a date and then I f...
A. 26 February 2013: I agree with Cerberus, it sounds like you're so private and non-talkative, that you may be coming off as kind of cold. It sounds like you need to relax and learn to have a bit more fun on your dates. I know, that's a lot more easier said than done. ... (read in full...)
Can I shake off these feelings of detachment or are we destined to fail?
Q. Hi There. I have been in a relationship for just under a year and a half. It has been the best relationship I've had in truth. But something has changed and I'm not sure why. I'm in my mid-twenties and have had several relationships since I wa...
A. 26 February 2013: Every partner wants to take care of the other. It sounds like you felt like you couldn't take care of her very well. It's understandable that such a fear could give you doubts about how strong you can be for her, and therefore, how much you love ... (read in full...)
Should I confide in him like he confides in me?
Q. I'm dating this guy right now, we were friends for a few months before we decided to date. He has been so open with me cause he trusts me a lot. He's told me some pretty dark things that have happened to him in his past that nobody knows. ...
A. 25 February 2013: If you feel comfortable with him, then go ahead and talk to him. Even if your relationship doesn't end up in marriage, it's still nice to have somebody who cares abut you to talk to about things going on in your life.
In the meantime, you shou... (read in full...)
I am her best friend, but I also know she cheats.How can I be her friend without having to keep her secrets?
Q. Hello everyone. I am a romantic. I believe in love and everything it entails. However, my best friend know I have known for eleven years, is a cheater. I know it isn't my life and it's hers. I also know that it is her decision and hers al...
A. 25 February 2013: Best friends are honest, even when it's difficult. So, I would agree with iAmHereToHelpYou. Tell her that you love her, but you just can't handle all of these secrets anymore.
If she asks questions, then answer them honestly - but with sensitiv... (read in full...)
I'm straight. My gay male friend gets holier than thou when I talk dating a guy. What can I do ?
Q. I'm pretty much stuck in a situation where I feel like a total Fag Hag. Most of my friends are gay. I absolutely adore all of my friends, and see them as amazing people who just happen to be gay. It's my gay friends who like to socialize an...
A. 25 February 2013: Geez, that sucks. I'm sure he is afraid of losing his best friend and becoming just a roommate.
I guess I would distance yourself from him a bit and live your own life. If you really do value his friendship and have a good relationship with him... (read in full...)
I thought he was the one. How could I have been so wrong?
Q. We were together for a year. We connected on so many levels (emotionally, intellectually, physical intimacy). I've had many relationships before. I've even been married once. Never have I been so happy as I was with him. He broke up with me on the ...
A. 25 February 2013: There's always room for all these questions after a break up. And to be honest, you'll never have answers. The longer you spend harping over the past, the more time that will have been wasted not moving forward. It is okay and natural to be upset, ... (read in full...)
Has anyone suppressed their feelings when it comes to loving someone they're dating?
Q. Has anyone suppressed their feelings when it comes to loving someone they're dating? If so.. Did it work? What was the outcome?...
A. 25 February 2013: How do you mean? Do you mean that you're dating somebody and you love them, and that you want to suppress it?
Why would you want to? Because it's too soon to bust out the 'love' word, or because they're somebody who you don't want to fall for... (read in full...)
I don't know why I am not feeling intimate anymore.
Q. I don't know what to do so any help would be much appreciated. I've recently started having trouble being physical with my boyfriend. We have been going out for over 2 years now and we both virgins (even thought I know that he would have sex right ...
A. 25 February 2013: How long has this been going on? A few days? A week? A month? Sometimes couples just get out of sync. And, if it's been two years, that often triggers an awkward time in a relationship - it could be you're just hitting one of those milestones. The ... (read in full...)
Why isn't she getting back to me after she shows interest?
Q. I got a cute girl's number, we texted, ended up going out and had a great time. She even suggested "grabbing dinner next time." I asked her out again, and she agreed, but she said that she had to check her schedule and get back to me. A couple days ...
A. 25 February 2013: Yes, it could be millions of things. She might be playing games, stringing you along, or she's just genuinely busy, she's been sick, maybe she keeps misplacing her phone... it could be anything!! I'd do exactly as CMMP suggests and give her a few ... (read in full...)
We have to sneak around because of my boyfriend's best friend. Do I just drop both of them?
Q. i have a man i have been seeing for a three months ..i would not say we are in a relationship because neither one of us has committed however we talk on the phone everyday and i see him often. To make the story simpler though i will call him my ...
A. 25 February 2013: Well that sucks. I don't quite understand why you have to hide from his best friend... because you didn't want to date him and now this guy is jealous? If you two are serious, then you (or your boyfriend) should just tell this guy that you're seeing ... (read in full...)
Should I forget about my wife's past with my friend?
Q. When my wife and I got together she just come out a brief relationship with a friend of mine,he was known as a bit of a player i was relatively inexperienced at sex where my wife was very experienced and very good at sex,when I asked my wife about ...
A. 25 February 2013: Should you? Absolutely! Otherwise, it will eat you up for the rest of your marriage and you will waste valuable emotional energy harping over past events that can't be changed.
If it's any consolation, clearly you were better - or else she woul... (read in full...)
Is this a decent way to ask someone to prom? Too cheesy?
Q. Hey all, so I'm asking this girl to the prom within the next week, hopefully. I don't particularly know her all that great, so I'm kinda just winging it. I was going to go all out and spend a decent amount of money on it, or get something while it...
A. 20 February 2013: In times like this, turn to the masters of dating: Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro. Pedro is the real mastermind of the situation. To ask their respective women to the dance, Pedro advises Napoleon to take a very European artistic route:
"Just... (read in full...)
My fiance keeps asking me if I love him. Whats really going on?
Q. My fiance keeps asking if I love him. He will ask, Do you "really" love me? Then he asks if I am living with him because I have no other place to go. Btw-I've got the means to go anywhere. I am here because I want to be with him. Then he will ...
A. 18 February 2013: Yes, it sounds like maybe he's a bit interested in this co-worker OR that her divorce is getting him paranoid about you divorcing him in the future.
I would definitely talk to him. See what's really going on.... (read in full...)
Please help :( I love my boyfriend, but could he be gay?
Q. Okay guys, I really need your help. I am such a mess from worrying about this. I've explained a lot below...read it and let me know what you think? I am 22. I've been with my boyfriend, who is 23, for about a year, and I love him to death. We get...
A. 5 February 2013: I don't know the guy, so I can't say whether or not he's gay. But from your description, "gay" doesn't jump out at me. To me, he sounds clinically depressed. My fella has depression, and when it was active, he was extremely sensitive and tended to ... (read in full...)
Why does my brother think I owe him something when he is living with me for free?
Q. Hello Cupid , I have a question for you my mom fell really sick like seven months or so ago my brother moved back from X to come back and help me with my mom. But when he get in good his help begin to slow down.My mom is late for doctors ...
A. 4 February 2013: Yes, you're doing the right thing. You're not being heartless - it's your home, and he is being more of an inconvenience than helpful. Perhaps you could apologize for snapping at him (you're stuck with family, so you might as well leave things on a ... (read in full...)
Did I sent the wrong text message in regards to a job?
Q. i walked into a salon yesterday for a job and got a position for a receptionist. i knew her from before and I was really excited for it as i was looking for it for a while. the manager there told me first i can come in from tomorrow but then said ...
A. 21 January 2013: Like Cerberus said, your text was fine. Very professional and non-presumptuous. Don't worry about it! Good luck, and I hope you get the job!... (read in full...)
Moment of silence for Dear Abby
Q. I think we should have a moment of silence for the passing of our fellow agoney aunt Dear Abby....
A. 19 January 2013: An inspiration for Agony Aunts everywhere. Rest in peace, Dear Abby! ... (read in full...)
BF loves to cuddle and I can't sleep! Is it because I'm too warm, or because he's in my space too much?
Q. Hi there... basically I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now really very happy together got a real good honest relationship. I have an issue he is really cuddly, I on the other hand am not so much. I do enjoy a hug now and again bu...
A. 1 January 2013: Ohh, I have the exact same problem with my husband. I do NOT like being cuddled - it makes me feel completely smothered. I can cuddle him without issue - so that is our compromise. I generally cuddle him until he falls asleep, and then I can go to ... (read in full...)
I'm abstaining from alcohol for my health, but my family are making unhelpful comments!
Q. In September off 2011, I had way too much to drink. I was lucky I did not die from alcohol poisoning. After that day, I have not drank any alcoholic bevages. The problem is my sister-in-law and her family. They keep on trying to get me to dri...
A. 1 January 2013: "It's 5 o'clock somewhere" sounds like they just think that you're being modest, and maybe they don't know that you've quit completely. It sounds like they want you to be comfortable cutting loose - maybe they think you're shy.
I'm not sure how... (read in full...)
What kind of orientation is this?
Q. I'm a young woman and I have never really considered my sexual orientation too much before, but now I'm confused. I only consider men 'hot', not really women. Rarely, though, there is the occasional woman that I can recognize as very attractive, ...
A. 22 December 2012: Well, first off - there is no need to box yourself in to some sort of box! We're all somewhere on a continuum. So don't worry so much about giving yourself a label!
I think as you grow older, you will find somebody who you are interested in being... (read in full...)
My guy is going bald - HELP!!!
Q. My guy is going bald!!!!!! I dont want to leave him, but he looks too elder than me! What do I do? He is ready to do anything if I have the solution..Pls help me! He is just 25! and Am 23 !! :-( :-( Am so sad abt his baldness..Am trying to support ...
A. 22 December 2012: I think all the aunties covered it. My fella started thinning around 26, but he started wearing his hair short and looks foxy as all get out. He doesn't need to wax it shiny, but a short haircut makes the thinning out or receding hairline virtually ... (read in full...)
My B/f snores at night and I cant sleep!
Q. Does anyone have any advice for my situation? I have been with my boyfriend only a few months. I am 23 he is 27.His an amazing guy and we get along like a house on fire. My problem is, he snores at night and i cant sleep! His a bit overweight a...
A. 9 December 2012: Honestly, when my fella is sick and starts snoring - I can't sleep either. My first tactic is to poke him, or push him a bit to get him to change positions. If that's not working, I sleep on the couch. Earplugs could help, but I find that they ... (read in full...)
Why did this girl look irritated when I looked at her?
Q. I was walking down the hall at school and a girl was coming my way. At first i didn't notice her because I was looking down when I was walking, then I looked up and saw her looking at me and when I started looking back she looked away like she ...
A. 5 December 2012: Yes, I think you're being quite paranoid.
It could be anything. She could be in a bad mood. She could be drifting off and thinking of something that irritates her. Sometimes I catch my face making expressions, reacting to whatever I'm thinking... (read in full...)
I was supposed to see a therapist. Is it time I now considered this option again?
Q. Hello all agony aunts and uncles, I need your advice yet again! Long story short, I moved hours away from my finance to attend college. I was good for the first semester, but then I got really depressed (randomly) and withdrew from the fall sem...
A. 30 November 2012: Definitely try to go back and see that therapist! They're great for everybody - not just if you're in the midst of a major depression. A therapist might be able to help you rebuild confidence and get through these obstacles you're facing with ... (read in full...)
Why can't he ever address me by my name?
Q. There is a man who I think is attracted to me (flirts, smiles, let's off so much positive energy and shows interest in me etc), but he NEVER has once said my name. He even has written to someone else about me to discuss a detail and referred to me ...
A. 30 November 2012: Are you sure he knows it? Are you sure he knows how to pronounce it? It could be that even though he OUGHT to know your name, perhaps he feels that he doesn't. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt... maybe you can remind him by slipping it into ... (read in full...)
Do we keep the baby and give up our dreams of going abroad?
Q. Hi, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I am 32 years old, just married to the most amazing man ever: we are very much in love. Today I found out I am pregnant, despite being on birth control (how is that even possible?). Anyway...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi there,
First off, get some sleep. You need some good sleep to make a decision like this.
Whether you should keep it or not is not something that strangers of the internet will be able to tell you. Ultimately you will have to decide that f... (read in full...)
Questions for the ladies-- set 2
Q. Hey ladies, set 2: Question 4: Have you ever fantasised about one of your boyfriends/ husbands friends? My answer: Once or twice Question 5: Do you secretly watch porn behind your mans back? Well we know a lot of men do this and try to kee...
A. 14 November 2012: I'll be honest.
1) Sure I have. In my fantasies, everybody is fair game. All kinds of people creep in there. Frankly, I can count on one hand the number of sexy celebrities... not interested, I guess. But otherwise? All kinds of unexpect... (read in full...)
Should I get a second ear piercing?
Q. i want to get a second ear piercing because i think they are cute and catchy. i just really like them and almost obsessed with them. it's just whenever i want to go and get a second piercing i always wonder if it would ruin my ear, as i've always ...
A. 14 November 2012: Nahhh, you won't get any bad scarring or anything - unless you take bad care of your ears and let them get a nasty infection or something. But as long as you take care of your piercings, you'll be fine! Clean them everyday and don't change them for ... (read in full...)
My husband flipped out because I wore a male co-worker's jacket! Is he making it too big of a deal?
Q. Hi everyone. Pretty quick question: Is it okay to wear a male coworker's jacket if you are married? My husband found out that my coworker let's me wear his jacket at work and totally flipped out. I don't see the harm in it. Let me know what you th...
A. 14 November 2012: Does it get chilly where you work? I don't see the big deal.
If it's clear that you're married, and you aren't feeling or giving off flirty vibes, I don't see the issue. You're cold. Someone lends you a jacket. Seems okay to me!... (read in full...)
She's not interested in "shrooming" with me...
Q. I really love her, we've been together for 9 months as of the other day. I ask that anyone who reads this, do so with an open mind and not cast judgement or speak against "drugs", assert that I have a problem or anything likewise. Things were really ...
A. 13 November 2012: I did shrooms once with my fella, and he had a great time. I, on the other hand, had a horrific time - and no thank you, I'll never do that again. Things got all Alice In Wonderland, and I was completely freaked out and paranoid and spent the night ... (read in full...)
Do guys really prefer girls with long hair?
Q. do guys really prefer girls with long hair? I have really long dark hair down to my waist, but most the time I leave it naturally curly/wavy because it looks nicer and has more texture. But the amount of guys who mention my hair on a night out is ...
A. 12 November 2012: Perhaps they take notice because super long hair that is in good shape, and not completely torn up by split ends, etc. - it's pretty rare to see. So, perhaps they comment so much because it's such a novel sight!... (read in full...)
I wish to do Musical Theatre but am afraid that I will not get accepted!
Q. Dear cupid, before I go into my question I wish to explain my situation as best as I can. I go to a creative arts school for creative writing. I have been writing for six to seven years, right. Writing is ONE of the passions of mine that I have been ...
A. 4 November 2012: Hello there, my little thespian.
I'm 26, and I've been doing theater for over 2 decades. I know that sounds ridiculous, but my first production was at the tender age of 4. And Ive been obsessed ever since. I went to a performing arts MS-HS, a... (read in full...)
Would you find it offensive to be told you are his first black girl?
Q. I am a black single female who is born and bred in a multi-cultural city. I date/pursue men who I am initially attracted to and this can be of any race different to my own. I have noticed that on more than a few occasions if I become close with a ...
A. 2 November 2012: I'm biracial, but still, most people just see that as "black". I've gotten a few of those, and yeah - it offends me too. I feel the same way. Why do you have to say that? Are you counting? Is this some sort of big event for you?
I'm just a person... (read in full...)
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