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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Could I be pregnant or an STD?
Q. About a week ago I had sex with this boy called shane that I Am seeing ( it was my first time) we both really like each other but the next time he came round we wanted to do it again . While rubbing his penis I felt further up and felt a few lumps I ...
A. 8 October 2011: No no, Tennisstar - she had sex with him last week. This week they didn't.
Anyway, toots - the advice is still just as good. You would not be having symptoms of pregnancy after a week - but if you had unprotected sex, you're at risk for both pre... (read in full...)
Will more women be interested if I lose some weight?
Q. I am a guy who was always on the smaller, scrawnier side. I could eat Ding Dongs and drink soda all day and I weighed 165 at 5'10" at age 17. Long story short, I am now 6 feet tall and 210. I think an ideal weight for me is about 190. I th...
A. 29 September 2011: Just some reassurance. I am a young, slim, I'd say attractive girl and I like my guys your size. I love a bigger guy - the scrawny ones, slim ones, or even the athletic build guys don't interest me much. I like a guy who looks like he can pick me ... (read in full...)
Should I have said something or should I have let it be?
Q. Hi Just would like an opinion on weather i over reacted or not to this, my boyfriend and i always say goodnite every nite. well tonite he was rather early and i just commented to him your early tonite it's not even dark yet then i said nite to him.w...
A. 28 September 2011: I'd let it go. He was a little snippy, but I don't think that a snarky cliché is a battle worth fighting. The guy was just tired, apparently a little cranky and going to bed early. He just needs some sleep. I wouldn't dwell on it!! Good luck, and ... (read in full...)
Ladies, which do you prefer - the cook or the dancer?
Q. Just out of curiosity to all the women out there, which do you prefer - a man who knows his way around the kitchen or a man who knows his way around the dance floor? And why? (I'm just taking a poll of sorts after an interesting discussion among...
A. 28 September 2011: Oooh, tough choice. I'd go for the dancer since I'm already a pretty good cook (if I do say so myself). The cook and I would just get in the way of each other in the kitchen. I think I could learn a cool thing or two from the dancer... and I really ... (read in full...)
We didn't get along for 10 years and now we're sleeping together?
Q. I know this guy for about 10 year we never got along until about 4 month ago and now we are sleeping 2gether why has it happend ...
A. 26 September 2011: Well, based on your one sentence - an unfinished sentence at that (no period, question mark, exclamation point) - I couldn't tell ya. But, I'll try.
Here's a relevant cliché, there is a thin line between love and hate. Have you seen chick flicks? ... (read in full...)
I have a lump, is it an infection?
Q. I am a 20year old lady. Last weekend my boyfriend and I had sex that was kind of rough, although we do that lots of times. I have since noticed a small lump (hard) on my vagina lip and i happen to have more discharge than normal. It seems like am ...
A. 26 September 2011: Hey sweet,
The best and NUMBER ONE thing you have to do is get to a doctor. The internet is full of wanna-be doctors, but we aren't certified and don't know what in fact you're looking at. It could be harmless or it could be something serious.... (read in full...)
She stops me from confronting individuals that want to date her?
Q. We have related with my girlfriend for a year now at campus. now that i finished my program she alone there, she tells me about people who are asking her for love and that she turns them down. However, she stops me from reacting to those ...
A. 26 September 2011: She probably just doesn't want you getting into fights. If she's turned them down, that's what is important. They don't need a lecture or confrontation from you. Let her deal with things, and if she needs reinforcement - you can tell her that you'll ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him or just end the relationship now?
Q. 0kay so im 17 and my bf is 18. we've been together for 4 months, but in the last week before our 4 month, we began to fool around a bit. one night when i was home alone i asked him to come over. which he did and he ended sleeping over. that night we ...
A. 26 September 2011: I hope your parents realize that it takes two to tango, he didn't drag you down a sexual path kicking and screaming - it was as much your decision as it was his. They're just shocked is all.
I suggest you kick it old school and keep your relation... (read in full...)
I like her but we're both shy. How can I help her not be?
Q. I've liked this girl at my school for two years problem is we are both really shy. we are friends of friends. Anyway what I want to ask is how can I break her out of her shell I'm ready to do anything. Please help....
A. 26 September 2011: Well, you should probably start with "Hi", and go from there.
Nothing is gonna happen unless you strike up a conversation! Take initiation and ask her if she wants to go out for coffee or something. Shy people will pretty much sit around waiting ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has started partying more on weekends. Is this just growing pains?
Q. Dear Cupids, I have dated a couple of different people in my life, but I've never gone steady with my significant other as long as my current relationship. I am looking for others experience manly in this area and the area of change. I love ...
A. 26 September 2011: Have you met or spent time with these friends? Do they seem like fun? Does she seem like she has fun with them? Why don't you want to go out with her? You could always be the DD (even though I know that's not thrilling).
Your personal decision... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into his visit? Help me!
Q. i am gay and recently have had a reunion with a friend from 10 years ago, which then i liked him, but nothing happened as the circumstances where strange. we have met again and i have fallin for him, we spent a holiday together with another fri...
A. 25 September 2011: I agree with the previous poster. Just go with the flow! If he knows your sexual orientation, then the ball is in his court. I think during his visit, you'll figure out what direction he'd like to go in. So, I'd go with the old 'no hope, no sorrow' ... (read in full...)
What should I do if I run into the ex?
Q. My friends have invited me to see a band early nest year. The thing is its where my ex and his friends hang out. I haven't seen or spoken to my ex since we brokeup. We dated a year and out of the blue, he dumped me by text. When I asked for closure, ...
A. 19 September 2011: Keep it classy. You want to be the bigger person here!! If you run into him, then as far as he knows you are happy, healthy and moved on. You're sooo over it. Sometimes that's the biggest insult of all! ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to deal with horrible PMS?
Q. Hi, I'm 14 years old, and my family has a history of bad periods. What I mean is heavy flow, pretty regular from the first period, and moodiness so bad my mom has to take medication. I got my period last january, and I can tell you that all of these ...
A. 19 September 2011: Just like there can be many levels of depression, there can be many levels of PMDD. You may be looking at some of the more severe symptoms. You may want to go check with a doctor just in case - and besides... he or she may have valuable information ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to deal with horrible PMS?
Q. Hi, I'm 14 years old, and my family has a history of bad periods. What I mean is heavy flow, pretty regular from the first period, and moodiness so bad my mom has to take medication. I got my period last january, and I can tell you that all of these ...
A. 18 September 2011: Sounds like you might have PMDD running in your family.
http://www.medicinenet.com/premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder_pmdd/article.htm
Things you can do: really track your period and know when to expect it so that you can expect your mood to go ... (read in full...)
I found out my husband wants a threesome and its making me sick
Q. hello, i need sme advice. my husband recently wrote on here asking whether he should ask me if i wanted a 3sum, well him watching me and the girl. It was titled "I have a fantasy about my wife being with another woman. Should I tell her?" He has ...
A. 17 September 2011: Oh, it's not the end of the marriage. If this is the post I think it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-have-a-fantasy-about-my-wife-being.html
It sounds like you've suggested in the past that you're bi-curious. Well, naturally that w... (read in full...)
I don't have friends and don't want any. Is that wrong?
Q. I am 38 years old and I don't have any friends other than my wife. I have one friend from high school I see once in a great while. He always wants to meet up and do something, but I have no interest. I get along with my colleagues at work, but work...
A. 17 September 2011: It seems that the closest "box" for personality disorders you would fit into would be the "Schizoid Personality Disorder".
While it doesn't seem like anything is terribly wrong with you (I'm not a professional, but you seem okay to me!), if it is... (read in full...)
Does anyone actually know what confidence is?
Q. Can someone please tell me what confidence is? Girls always say confidence is sexy, but there's a problem with that. I am extremely confident at everything I do. Any new endeavor, sport, test, competition, etc. that I take part in, I have a str...
A. 16 September 2011: Listen - it sounds like you just want to vent. If that's all, okay. This is a place for questions and not for venting, but alright.
You're generalizing females - you're making us out to be these superficial chicks who all go for good lines an... (read in full...)
Does anyone actually know what confidence is?
Q. Can someone please tell me what confidence is? Girls always say confidence is sexy, but there's a problem with that. I am extremely confident at everything I do. Any new endeavor, sport, test, competition, etc. that I take part in, I have a str...
A. 15 September 2011: "I don't go around to people saying I believe in myself, and I'm going to succeed. I feel that, but don't project it out to everyone I meet, so that I don't seem like a total asshole. In fact, I generally act the opposite of what I feel, so as to ... (read in full...)
Am I REALLY going to regret not going to prom when this is my senior year?
Q. My question is, am I REALLY going to regret not going to prom when this is my senior year? I mean, the guy I like is taking college classes so he's never at school and I was hoping to become closer friends with him and possibly have him as a date ...
A. 14 September 2011: Yeah, I think you'll regret it - you may end up asking "what if", and feel bitter towards this event you weren't part of. I'd go - if not just to be able to say "yeah, I went... it was ridiculously lame and terrible". Because maybe it will be a ... (read in full...)
If a girl lets you do things for her, does it mean she likes you?
Q. I met this girl and she asks me to drive her places, and I helped her move. I also help her out by giving her advice. My best bud says if a girl is always looking to you to help her with stuff it means she likes you. I am not sure though. I really ...
A. 13 September 2011: As a female who had a few of these long-term friend zone fellas, I have to say that the guys here are right. I am in no way suggesting that this stereotype is completely true of everyone or that young ladies are doing this to manipulate and use you. ... (read in full...)
Will this plan work?
Q. Hello there :), I'm a closeted sophmore and for months now I've been trying to figure out a way to come out of the closet to my friends and family. I've thought of all the possible out comes and I have a back up plan in case things go badly....
A. 8 September 2011: Hello sweet,
I really, really, really think coming out on Facebook isn't a good thing to do. You should tell your family first. They should not find out through the internet grapevine. If your brother is the one who will tattle, why not tell you... (read in full...)
Why did I want this guy to try to grab me and have sex with me?
Q. I was just walking and then I saw this guy from far away with a large dog, walking towards my direction. I stared at the dog because it was just super tall and it seemed as if it was trying to free itself from its owner. And then without thinking ...
A. 8 September 2011: Nahh, you were just horny. I've felt that way before. In your fantasy world, be grabbed and having random, wild sex with a stranger is super fun. In reality, and I'm sure you understand this - being grabbed a forcibly made to have sex with this guy ... (read in full...)
Should I Risk the Friendship for Something More?
Q. My bestfriend/crush broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago and now he is spending more time with me. I think he likes me, he asked me to go to our schools homecoming last year after him and his girlfriend got in a fight. Sadly something came ...
A. 8 September 2011: Well, I think you should continue hanging out with him and start looking for signs. I don't think I'd spring anything on him - because that could ruin a friendship. But, if you start with just a conversation, that could go better. Why not ask him ... (read in full...)
My gut tells me to leave him alone but my heart misses him
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about six months now. (We work in the same building, on different floors, and have known each other for four). Anyway, we are both in other relationships but came together because we were both unhappy. We hook up but ...
A. 8 September 2011: Here's my opinion as to what to listen to. Generally, there are four parts working together inside of you making decisions. Your heart, your brain, your gut and your "ladybits".
Your heart softens, and that can lead to bad decisions.
Your br... (read in full...)
I'm questioning my feelings for my BF but I don't know what to do because he's so deeply in love with me
Q. So, I've known my boyfriend for 5 years now. He's been my best friend for a year and we got together almost 6 months ago. It was all good for about 3 months, then I started questioning my feelings (partly because of the sex - I've never came and...
A. 8 September 2011: Well, you may just be dating your best friend. I did that for awhile. We had zero chemistry, but I loved him to death and he really SUPER loved me... so I had a good friend and a fella I could call my boyfriend. But I was never really into him... so ... (read in full...)
He gets mad when I don't want sex!
Q. Hey guys, i'm 15 and basically i've been with my 16 year old boyfriend for 3 and a half months now, and we started having sex 2 months into our relationship. since then we've had it 37 times. I don't know if its right but I feel completely taken for ...
A. 7 September 2011: Well, isn't this guy a piece of work? Sweet thing, you are with a jerk. It will be easy for you to look at all of these critical things said about your boyfriend, get defensive and stay with him because you see him for the nice guy he is.
But, ... (read in full...)
He waited 23 years to express his disappointment. How many people out there did not have sex on their first wedding night?
Q. How many people did not have sex on their wedding night and waited until the honeymoon?? Husband was upset that we did not have sex on wedding night. We did have sex as soon as we arrived at the hotel on the honeymoon. when i tried to explain...
A. 6 September 2011: My husband and I didn't have sex our wedding night. Like you, we opened all the cards, and pretty much passed out from exhaustion. If we had done 'the bojiggity', it would have been for show. Just the novelty of it all. I probably would have been ... (read in full...)
My first crush in a long time but he's taken!
Q. i have a problem....so i met this guy in mt math class but then i changed classes then a few days later i found out he was in my new science class....i really really like him...and i want to tell him...we began talking and hes cool, nice, ...
A. 3 September 2011: Don't tell him you like him. Just continue being friends and wait it out, sister! The last thing you want to do is get in-between a relationship, then the relationship you form with him won't be nearly as good. You'll always be worried that some ... (read in full...)
A girl made a mockery of me at a party, how do I recover from this?
Q. Tonight I attended a party my cousin was holding. There were a few members of the family there, but it was mostly friends of my cousin. Anyway, there were a lot of drunk people there, while I was acting as designated driver for my parents. I figured ...
A. 3 September 2011: Yeah, I agree with the others - I think it was your parents who jumped to conclusions. This sounds like drunk girls, who think a guy is cute, so one starts dancing, the others are drunkenly trying to push her closer, everyone things it's freakin' ... (read in full...)
She wore another guy's engagement ring for several months before we were dating, I didn't know that till just now, what do I do?
Q. My wife if nearly three years, and the mother of our 6 month old, was engaged before we were married. She was also proposed to several times. When we were dating, she told me that one serious boyfriend who proposed, she denied him and they bro...
A. 2 September 2011: Yeah, I think you are. She did deny him. She just said "I don't know" first, and then decided no. She never said yes.
Before my husband, I had a guy propose to me long ago and far away. It was the same thing. He asked - I thought "no", but felt... (read in full...)
My GF has the sex drive of a man-is this normal?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have found the perfect woman, but that's the problem - she's too perfect. She doesn't care that I've just been made redundant, orgasms through penetration alone when we have sex, genuinely finds me physically attractive and explai...
A. 1 September 2011: No, nothing wrong with you. Something definitely wrong with your perception of women to begin with.
I can't even begin to tell you how inaccurate your picture of women was before. I don't know who taught you this or what bitter experien... (read in full...)
Do I ask my co-worker if she wants to be left alone?
Q. I was just wondering how best, you ask a female work colleague if she would like to be left alone? Dont get me wrong, it is not like I am harrassing her, however lately sensed that on the occasions when I have tried to strike up a conversation, ie...
A. 29 August 2011: I wouldn't ask her straight out. That's pretty pointed, and naturally she'll say "no, no... I don't want to be left alone" - because if she says yes, she'll look like a jerk, or at least feel like one.
If you're getting distant vibes, just dis... (read in full...)
How do you treat someone with a phobia?
Q. hey i need help my boyfriend I mean my Ex-Boyfriend has some psycologic problems he suffer from Philophobia ( love phobia ) he Told me he's afraid when i asked him of what he said afraid to fall in love with u i told him falling in love is not ...
A. 29 August 2011: Well, YOU can't treat him. You are his girlfriend, not his psychologist. He may need one - since I don't know him, I couldn't tell you that. But if his phobia is interfering with him being happy and healthy, then he should look into talking to ... (read in full...)
Do I need to drive to get a girlfriend?
Q. Should a guy be driving to get girls?, I am 16 and i am a senior at my high school, most of the girls in my class are driving and i am not, I feel like now if i want to ask girls out i need to be able to drive and stuff? i dnt know if i should ...
A. 29 August 2011: No need for wheels to get chicks!! Not everyone has a car. Besides, you're just more environmentally friendly than guys with rides - and having an Eco-conscious boyfriend is definitely a fabulous selling point. Good luck, sweet!... (read in full...)
I don't want to disappoint my pastor by dating someone.
Q. So, there's this girl that I really like. Last night we spent over 5 hours Skyping and playing truth or dare over Skype (It got pretty hot) and, by the time it was done, we had both seen each other PARTIALLY naked. But she is just SUCH a sweet ...
A. 29 August 2011: Yes, I have to agree with jmc930. Stripping on Skype is the much bigger no-no. That kind of thing is probably exactly what your pastor is worried about.
If you feel strongly about this girl, and your parents approve, then absolutely you should s... (read in full...)
Is it normal for best friends to fight constantly?
Q. I have this friend .. actually she is like my best friend .. we do everything together .. she is really the only person i hang out with .. every weekend we have sleepovers, and everyday we hang out, but when it comes to school, we don't say a word ...
A. 29 August 2011: It sounds pretty normal. If you two were sisters, I would say you're normal.
The only way it's not alright is if you're getting really hurt by your rollercoaster relationship. Do you feel like she genuinely likes you? Are you always there fo... (read in full...)
He's in jail for life, and he's telling me to cut contact. How can I deal with my strong feelings for him?
Q. I'm in love with a man who is incarcerated. I met him through a pen pal service which asks for people on the outside, like myself to write to prisoners. To be on the safe side, I picked a man who was doing life without the possibility of p...
A. 27 August 2011: Hoo baby.
I can't agree more with Denise32.
You are getting too deep in an unrealistic situation, and you're glorifying a man (who is a murderer at that) who you don't really know. Everyone sounds good in writing, and yes - he's a human, wi... (read in full...)
Roleplaying..my boyfriend wants me to be a hooker and I'm totally stumped on what to do!
Q. hey guys, just need some help and suggestions. my boyfriend and i have been together for 8 years and are very compatible sexually. recently, we've just started dabbling in a little roleplay and it is amazing. i usually pick up roles well, bu...
A. 25 August 2011: Oh, easy, easy. Fishnets, leather jacket with a saucy bra underneath, bright red lipstick, big hair, cheap perfume and a lot of it. You could wait out in the backyard or something so that he has to pick you up. Don't go out in public, you don'... (read in full...)
Will a guy still like you even if you don't want to have sex?
Q. Well I was reading someone's question on here about Teen Sex, my question is, will a guy still like you even if you don't want to have sex? I mean, I would love to find a guy that likes me for me and fall in love, but I don't want him to leave me ...
A. 22 August 2011: My family was just asking me, "how many boyfriends did you have?" - so I ran down the list - about 8 or 9, and all of them lasted for 4 months to a year and a half. That was from 11 (first boyfriend) until 19 (last boyfriend who I ended up ... (read in full...)
I'm single and attracted to him, but I could never marry him for family reasons. What should I do?
Q. Hi friends, Few years back i used to work in a company.I had a colleague over there. After leaving that company we have been in contact through phones and mails. Now few days back he proposed me for marriage and told me that he used to like me very ...
A. 22 August 2011: "Baby... I like your hair. Oh yeah, your intelligence. Also, your boobs. I want to make love with you."
This sounds like a guy who wants to get you in bed, or a guy who is in lust with you. If you can't be with him for whatever reasons (though,... (read in full...)
How do I bring up that I dated his friend 3 years ago?
Q. Three years ago I went on a few dates with a guy we'll call Andy. I was never really into him, although things went a little too far one night, but I didn't want them to so I left. We saw each other one more time after this and talked briefly, but ...
A. 16 August 2011: I guess I'd wait until you see him in person. It's not a huge deal, but it is probably better to be looking him in the face so he can visually see how not-a-big-deal it really is. I don't think the situation is desperate enough to warrant calling ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up that I dated his friend 3 years ago?
Q. Three years ago I went on a few dates with a guy we'll call Andy. I was never really into him, although things went a little too far one night, but I didn't want them to so I left. We saw each other one more time after this and talked briefly, but ...
A. 15 August 2011: I agree with the previous posters. You and Andy, it was short, didn't mean anything, etc. The only way that it will SEEM like it meant something is if you keep it a secret. So, rather than it coming out down the line and having your three-date-tryst ... (read in full...)
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