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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Why do some young women go out to night clubs dressed they way they do?
Q. Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. ...
A. 25 June 2016: Honeypie -- PREACH, girlfriend!
Honeypie just slayed that advice. There's nothing more to say. Nailed it. ... (read in full...)
After our marathon 8 hour fight, what can I say to my LD guy?
Q. Before knowing my current boyfriend (lets call him S) I went to a party and kissed a guy who was way older than me, I was 16 he was 20. It was nothing else apart from a kiss, caused by being tipsy and 'lovin the single life' so yeah.. In my opinion, ...
A. 4 May 2016: This guy sounds seriously insecure. He, frankly, sounds like a hot mess.
Personally, I think this guy has no right to call you an "average slut", and berate you for 12 hours, tell you that you're easy, and that you OWE him sexual attentio... (read in full...)
Am I being a fool or should I see him again?
Q. I met this guy about 5 years ago. He was the sweetest. Well for the first time ever I felt myself being in love. He was the man of my dreams and even though I had a boyfriend and a kid, we still managed to hit it off. He was my secret lover for ...
A. 2 May 2016: Oh Lord.
Sister, this is no good.
You hardly mention your boyfriend, it seems that you're really only with him out of obligation for your kid to have both parents. Do you love him? Are you attracted to him?
What you've been doing to you... (read in full...)
Do tough guys like it rough too?
Q. Do dominant guys like to be manhandled in bed too? When I usually hear people talk about rough sex they usually only talk about what the guy does to the woman. Are there any guys who aren't submissive who liked to be choked, slapped, or even bruised ...
A. 2 May 2016: I'm assuming by "dominant", you mean that they're just generally dominant men. Or maybe you even mean "manly". I'm guessing that you're not asking about self-professed, sexually dominant men. Because if they say that they're sexually dominant, I'd ... (read in full...)
I really liked him, we made out and the next day he pretended it never happened! What made him not like me anymore?
Q. Hi i had this boy i knew i really liked him and he liked me and one day we made out at night.The next day he pretended like it never happen like he never liked me and i texted him and told him did it mean anything and he said no and that broke my ...
A. 26 April 2016: Get over him? I'd start with getting MAD at him.
He knew you liked him, and he 100% took advantage of that. He has NOT considered your feelings, has not bothered to be bothered by breaking your heart... this dude is a total swine.
Once yo... (read in full...)
I lost my erection just before sex, is this ED?
Q. Hi all Ive been with my partner 7 years now, we are both in our 40's and in decent health Recently we were intimate, i gave her oral to orgasm, then went to have sex....to my horror i had gone semi hard, and couldnt have intercourse My p...
A. 26 April 2016: Yes, I think the only way this will become a problem, is if you get consumed with "OH MY GOD IS THIS A PROBLEM!??"
One time is nothing. Nothing at all.
Just relax, chill out, laugh it off and move along. So often these issues start out as not... (read in full...)
How do I address this situation and this cheating?
Q. I got involved with my friends boyfriend A , we still dating even now behind her back.i always feel awful about it.I tried to break up with him but its not working we always find a way to get back to each other. Now A and my friend S have beautifu...
A. 18 April 2016: The only thing you can do for this friend, if you REALLY want to do what's right, is to break up with her boyfriend (regardless of what he says, who cares?) and leave the two of them behind.
Your relationship with S is no longer a friendsh... (read in full...)
Do you think this short break from each other might bring us back together?
Q. Hi....i would like to thank everyone in advance for replies. My ex whom i adore still rings me most days.....pops in to see me.....helps me with jobs.....we have tea together and his body language suggests he has strong feelings for me. He says h...
A. 18 April 2016: Did he break up with you, and leave you without knowing the exact reason why?
As wrathykins says, you need to just be straight out with it. Are you together or not? If he says yes, great. If he says maybe, consider that a no. And if he says no,... (read in full...)
Any time I go near this guy my friend comes over and drags him off. What can I do?
Q. So there's this disco that everyone goes to and this boy I kind of like wants me to kiss him at it. I keep trying to text him but he doesn't reply. My best friend who knows I like him and want to kiss him at the disco keeps flitting with him. Sh...
A. 18 April 2016: Well, I'm seeing two different issues here.
1) Seems like your friend does like him. Maybe she feels bad because she knows you like him, so she keeps saying she doesn't? Or maybe she doesn't even recognize the jealousy that she's facing? Either w... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about my wife's strange sexual dreams?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 40 years, and our sex lives have always been 'satisfactory', nothing out of the ordinary really, only occasionally doing something rather daring. However, about six months ago she started taking medicati...
A. 18 April 2016: Man, this is looking a gift horse in the mouth, huh?
I do recognize that you're feeling self-conscious because you feel like its not YOU providing your wife with such pleasure, but a medication. Maybe you feel like it's not real or legitima... (read in full...)
Is using magazines for sexual release worse than watching online porn?
Q. I've read that watching porn can cause all kinds of problems, even impotence in young guys. I don't want to get a warped or perverted view of sex, as I was brought up traditional. However this also means that for me having real sex is not an option ...
A. 22 March 2016: Hi there,
I do not think that your magazines are "weirder and grosser" than watching hardcore porn. Not by a longshot. And I really don't think you'll get any mental health issues from doing what people have been doing since the inventio... (read in full...)
How can I make Christmas a success given my family's opinions about my boyfriend?
Q. I grew up in a very close family, I have a huge extended family and we are all very close. They are nice and loving but at the same time close minded and now I found out even racist. I have been in a relationship for 6 months , my parents have met...
A. 3 December 2015: Oh, you poor thing. Your poor boyfriend.
What is important that you stand up for him, and like Denizen said - for what you think is right. Your poor boyfriend has been forced into the position of being the spokesperson for his people to your clo... (read in full...)
I want a child but my boyfriend doesn't. Should I tell him I'm going off contraception?
Q. So I've been with my partner for 3 years . I have had the implant in my arm for nearly 6 years . It's only meant to last 3 years ? Is there a specific time limit for this contraception? Me and my partner don't use any other form of protecti...
A. 3 December 2015: GOOD LORD, girlfriend, of COURSE you should tell him.
You don't come to a public forum for people to give you advice expecting to hear otherwise. Don't lie to the man and trick him into getting you pregnant. Especially when he has EXPLICIT... (read in full...)
My father dying and best friend moving away has me questioning what I should be doing for my future! Advice?
Q. Hi there, I am in a bit of turmoil right now. I am 35 and live with a lovely guy, however we have no passion it has died, we have been together 3 years and I do love him but I can't help but think what else is out there. My father who I...
A. 24 November 2015: First off, I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. Hugs to you.
Can I ask when the passion died between you and your fella? Recently, or has the spark been out for a long time?
I can understand the urge to go to New York with your buddy. It is run... (read in full...)
We spent a night cuddling and tickling and watching videos, but I just like him as a friend! What do I do?
Q. Ok so the other night I crashed on a friends couch because I was pretty drunk but after I'd gotten ready and into a sleeping bag my friend came back haven met another of our male friends and he was also going to be crashing in the living room but ...
A. 24 November 2015: Hi sweets,
You don't really need to DO anything, I don't think. If he tries to pursue you, tell him straight out that you're not interested. If he pushes the issue, call him out on being a scum bag.
I am a little curious/worried ... (read in full...)
Why do I delay leaving him? How do I gather the courage to leave?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 5 years constantly belittles me, insults me, talks about how other girls look good and how I look v bad in front of them and how old I look, how I don't deserve him... But still comes to me for money, it's been months since w...
A. 24 November 2015: Oh, honey - I just want to hug you.
Here's the good news. You're at least aware of the fact that you're being mistreated, and you need to end this and be done with this "relationship". Honestly, what are you getting out of it? Is the only reason t... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his change in behavior?
Q. My boyfriend of two years has been somewhat distant on and off for the last month, but for the most part things have been okay. We are somewhat long distance, we live 40 miles apart. We just returned on Tuesday from a group trip for two weeks. He ...
A. 19 January 2015: I don't think you're being overly suspicious. This is all very sketchy. Insisting you come on Saturday, instead of Friday like you usually do - you ask why and he says, "oh no reason, just going to eat some dinner and watch a movie" (um, why would ... (read in full...)
Do you think this guy is interested?
Q. This guy and I would talk everyday. I was introduced to his friends, family. His mother apparently knew about me the first day we met. One of his friends told me that he was happy he got my number. He would ask to see me most weekends, invite me ...
A. 19 January 2015: Kinda seems like a lot of game-playing right now. At first it was all hot, now it's hot and cold.
I mean, the bottom line is that you two don't even live in the same town anymore? I don't think you established enough of a relationship before y... (read in full...)
Why are some people incapable of asking how you are?
Q. why are some people incapable of asking how you are? I mean friends, long term friend, any friend. A long term friend of mine never bothers to say this, I always ask after her and want to know how she is, isnt that what friends do!!? Other friends ...
A. 17 January 2015: I have one friend who likes to talk about herself, her problems, her feelings. I like her a lot, since we really have a lot in common and she's fun - but she's not great at engaging someone else in conversation. "I... I... I... me... me... me..."
... (read in full...)
Scared to tell her I really love her. But if she sees me as just a friend then how will I cope?
Q. Okay, so I am one of those people who try all time not to catch feelings for people, because I know how it can hurt, but I can never see when its coming. Well, I have this friend on a social network, and I've never met her in Real Life, but I kn...
A. 17 January 2015: ... maybe you should meet her first, before confessing your love for a person you only know in writing? I personally know some great writers. Like, girlfriends who I chat with online, since now we live further apart. And writing back and forth i... (read in full...)
Will I always regret not sleeping with someone else if we do marry?
Q. I was brought up in quite a religious family and was taught not to have sex before marriage. While all my friends were having a varied sex life during uni I was with another guy who had similar values. We broke up and I have now been with my cur...
A. 11 January 2015: Yeah, you'll probably regret it.
I ended up marrying the first guy I slept with. I never meant to only sleep with one person, it just so happened that the guy I lost my virginity to at 19, was The One, and here we are 9 years later, 5 years ma... (read in full...)
He wants to tie me up to force me to orgasm!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about two months, and we were eachothers first. He is great in bed, and has told me that he enjoys me as well. I have no problem getting him off, however I can not reach an orgasm. We have tried several ...
A. 8 January 2015: Whoaaaa... let's not bust out any rope, girl, and let's ESPECIALLY not force anybody to do anything!
Listen, once you have been having sex for a long while, and you've figured out your body, your desires, and all that, then you can try some kin... (read in full...)
My husband is deleting texts from his ex-wife. How can I handle this?
Q. My husband deletes texts and calls from his ex wife, even after we've had discussions about doing this, and he said he wouldn't do it anymore. Also, I've seen texts where she sends him x's and o's. At one point I even texted her myself to ask her ...
A. 7 January 2015: Hmmm...
Is he deleting them because there is something to hide, or because he knows if you see how his wife writes, you'll freak out and assume that there's something going on?
Do you already suspect that there is still something going ... (read in full...)
If I date a Female to Male transsexual person does that make me bisexual?
Q. So, quick question. Whilst I support the LGBT community in being who they are, I don't know much about transgender people. I have done a little bit of reading on transgender people, so I know basic abbreviations (cis, mtf, ftm, T)...
A. 7 January 2015: Agree with Honeypie - you see him as a male, he sees himself as a male... that makes you, a straight woman, dating a man.
Sexuality is fluid and accommodating. The sides of the box you've put yourself in don't need to be so rigid.
The bot... (read in full...)
Is she being unfair? I don't want to be selfish. But is it wrong that she now wants to have a girl's weekend and squash our previously arranged vacation?
Q. i've had some major plans to do something significant with my girlfriend for quite a few months now. we were planning to go on a mini-vacation together over the weekend, go visit some places, etc. sort of a couples weekend. we made these plans...
A. 7 January 2015: I understand why you're upset, but I can absolutely see her side too. This is not something she would ordinarily do, but it's a bit of a special situation- this is a friend she hardly sees, and who knows when she'll see again. She has apologized and ... (read in full...)
Should I Have A Huge 21st Birthday?
Q. I'm turning 21 soon but I'd rather just go out for dinner with my friends than throw a massive house party or go out clubbing (I usually go out clubbing) Do most people have a huge 21st? I did a big 18th but obviously in this country I've bee...
A. 5 January 2015: It's your birthday, and therefore you should do exactly what you want to do! It is your day, and if you want to sit at home knitting, you can do so without judgment. Whatever sounds like fun to you, is precisely what you should spend the day ... (read in full...)
How do I confront my friend about his potential feelings towards me? And his actions while drunk?
Q. For the past 3 years I've been in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend who i've known for six years. I have a friend, lets call him *A* (to keep anonymity) who actually shares the same friend group that both my partner and I have. I...
A. 5 January 2015: I agree - I'd call him out on his behavior. Even if he "doesn't remember", he should certainly be made aware of the person he becomes after he's been drinking, and the words that he's spewing. Maybe he needs a reality check. And he ought to get the ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on Prince Charming? Says he won't marry me unless I agree to become a swinger with him
Q. I am a very attractive, tall, successful, and fun-loving 25-year-old young woman. I am deeply and truly in love with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our sex is amazing, and the adventures we have together are truly unreal. ...
A. 31 December 2014: Oh geez...
Listen, just be warned now - if you marry this guy, your life will be an endless emotional rollercoaster. The bad times will be awful, and the good times will be good - but always carry the stain of the bad. He'll cheat - at least he... (read in full...)
A dear friend turned hostile
Q. Dear Cupids; Let me start by setting the scene (I'll try to keep it to the point). I was raised in a large, strict and very religious household. I am one of 29 grandchildren (soon to be 30) and the only one who is gay. My family did not rea...
A. 31 December 2014: This is a guy who is going to go out and complain about being "friendzoned", instead of seeing the reality - you're not interested. Funny things can happen to a person when it looks like things won't go their way, a person can change quite ... (read in full...)
My friends suddenly hate my best friend, do I tell him?
Q. My best friend and I have gotten pretty close since we met last year, and we run in the same circles so we have all of the same mutual friends. Recently, some of our closest friends have decided they don't want to spend time with him anymore, and ...
A. 9 September 2014: My other question - I see your best friend is male... are all your friends female?
Could it be that he is taking away from "girls time"?
... (read in full...)
I do not want to send him the pictures he asks for. Why should I send these pictures?
Q. im dating tanzanian man since like 7 months ago we chatting every day online. he is calling me on viber...he sent me pictures of his private parts,and he said he wants pictures of my private parts. i said yes to him but i do not want to send suc...
A. 7 September 2014: ABSOLUTELY send a random picture of a cat.... (read in full...)
I do not want to send him the pictures he asks for. Why should I send these pictures?
Q. im dating tanzanian man since like 7 months ago we chatting every day online. he is calling me on viber...he sent me pictures of his private parts,and he said he wants pictures of my private parts. i said yes to him but i do not want to send suc...
A. 6 September 2014: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-said-hed-post-naked-pics-of-me.html
This is just one of the awful scenarios that can play out. Yikes!... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my hatred and bitterness towards women?
Q. How do I remove my hatred and bitterness towards women for them expecting guys to make the first move? Doing the approaching and asking out, initiating/escalating, taking the lead? I hate this one sided dynamic with a huge passion, even though I am ...
A. 6 September 2014: Hey buddy,
Imagine how women feel! If we make the first move, then we're "desperate" or "aggressive", and must have ulterior motives.
Double standards are tough. And in this case, both side get the short end of the stick (that's one shor... (read in full...)
I do not want to send him the pictures he asks for. Why should I send these pictures?
Q. im dating tanzanian man since like 7 months ago we chatting every day online. he is calling me on viber...he sent me pictures of his private parts,and he said he wants pictures of my private parts. i said yes to him but i do not want to send suc...
A. 6 September 2014: You don't owe this man anything. You should not send him pictures if you don't want to - even if you did want to, it's still a bad idea to send naked pictures to anyone you don't know and trust 150,000% (like a husband).
Just because you guys tal... (read in full...)
Should I walk away from the impending wedding or just give him another chance? My life is a total mess!
Q. My fiance and I been arguing a lot lately. We normally argue over the same things over and over again. Such as bills, wedding preps, punctuality and etc. Yesterday, he started to argue with me over my whatapp last seen and accuses me of ch...
A. 4 September 2014: Ugh, he's like this NOW - just imagine what he'll be like when you're trapped inside a marriage with him.
Sweetness, marriage will not make ANYTHING better - it will just magnify all the issues that you have now. Don't be fooled - that doesn't ... (read in full...)
Does no sex after pregnancy mean no orgasms either?
Q. Hey i was wondering is it safe to have a orgasm through clitoral stimulation after having a baby almost a month ago? I know your not supposed to have sex until 6 weeks after but i don't know if an orgasm this way is safe, i keep hearing different ...
A. 4 September 2014: True, true, true.
Sex after labor is just about your body's safety. If you're not being super vigorous, physical or rough, you're fine. An orgasm should be dandy if you're not putting your vagina or c-section stitches in danger!
Enjoy!... (read in full...)
Why does he trust me with his phone?
Q. Having a little fling/casual sex with a foreign guy from Germany and on our 3rd date/meeting where he's giving me a lift to his place, he tells me to keep his phone while he drives. He doesn't text and drive though. I just found it strange. I don't ...
A. 4 September 2014: .......
Not sure the question here.
He's not suspicious? Not acting shady? Not protecting his phone as if he's got something to hide?
Sometimes I give my phone to my fella, on the off chance that someone calls who I need to hear from, and b... (read in full...)
What does he think now that he's seen that I'm really not skinny?
Q. Ok, so bare with me on this. I'm 24 and I have a "sex friend". We have been seeing each other for just over a year now, but I'm not a skinny girl, and you can see I'm not skinny. I'm a curvy 16 and I've never gotten completely naked with him. I've ...
A. 4 September 2014: Here's my thought -
Dude has been seeing you *almost* naked for a year. He's been DYING to know what's underneath it all. And finally, he did. I'm sure he's so excited about finally uncovering the goods, that he was not getting trivial about ev... (read in full...)
How odd is it that her pets are "brothers"?
Q. I've known this girl Aimée for about 3 months. Met her at work and she's really nice, seems genuine, she's not judgemental or anything like that. She seems like she'd be a good friend. Here's the catch though, we were talking about our families and ...
A. 4 September 2014: I agree with Honeypie - I see this as just her making light of the fact that animals are like family. I don't know if you've lost a pet, but it can feel like a best friend or a sibling has passed. It hurts. It's a very painful experience. That stems ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend get chatty/flirty with girls when he's had alcohol?
Q. Why does my boyfriend get very flirty chatty with girls when hes had alcohol but is not like this at all when sober and would never disrespect me by even checking out a hot girl in front of me! Should I worry? I do worry in case he gets really d...
A. 25 August 2014: I'm having trouble interpreting. I'm not sure if your boyfriend really does turn into a sleazeball and start blatantly checking out girls and hitting on them, or if he just gets drunk and overly friendly, so he starts talking up everyone and ... (read in full...)
Neither of us is ready for parenting, so why do I keep thinking about having his child?
Q. Before I begin, I would really love it if nobody judged me or made fun of me. Because I know my feelings are wrong but I just want to know what is making me feel this way. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for almost 8 months ...
A. 21 August 2014: Totally normal. I had the same feelings when I was 19, with my boyfriend who was 23. So, to combat the feelings, I bought one of those big plastic bins at Target, and every time I would get the urge, I'd go buy some baby stuff. Because let's face ... (read in full...)
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