A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am young, and not naive, so please don't baby me. But I am in a dilemma. School started just 2 months ago and I have been with my boyfriend about that long. However, my entire summer was spent single, and I really enjoyed the freedom of being able to do that; kissing whoever I wanted and not worrying. BUT, I really do love my boyfriend. I just have a tendency to maintain that mentality and I fear that at some point, it is going to ruin my relationships. I am completely happy with the boy I am currently with, but just recently I went to visit one of my friends, and she introduced me to some new people. I am always excited to make new friends and acquaintances, however, what I was expecting was to meet a guy that really connects with me. It seems silly, but I am a strong believer in fate, and although I barely know him, I do know there was a connection. I have not done anything with this boy because I know its wrong; he's not my boyfriend, I know nothing about him or his life, and he lives far away from me and in high school, that definitely makes a difference. I am sure I will see him again, but I don't know that I will be able to control my urges. I fear that my summer will not only come back to haunt me and my habits will return, or that I'll lose sight of the great thing I have in front of me. I realize I will have to make a decision, but any friendly or even mean, eye-opening advice will help. Please keep in mind that I am in high school and hormonal, although that would be no excuse to cheat. What should I do?
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female
reader, BlueBag  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 I completely agree with the answer below. Since a new guy has turned your head already, I don't think your current boyfriend is the right guy for you.If you are worried you may cheat on your boyfriend then break it off, don't break his heart.I think you should be single and enjoy yourself, meet new people. You will end up finding someone who you feel so strongly for that no matter who comes along, you'll only have eyes for them.Please don't take this next statement to be in any way patronizing but the fact is, you are still young, don't tie yourself down in serious relationships already, enjoy being on your own and doing things YOU want to do rather than having to check in on a boyfriend first!I hope this helps, let us know what you decide to do. :)
A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 I agree with CaringGuy.
You sound like you are definately not ready to 'settle' with one boy. You say you're in 'love' with two guys, and one is a boy you just met a little while ago and the other is someone who you've been dating 2 months? What are you equating the feelings of 'love' on? How they make you feel?
If you love your boyfriend like you say you do, respect him enough to ask for some space to make your mind up, this way it's not a break up but you need to sort out your feelings before the relationship breaks up anyway.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 November 2009):
In all honesty, I don't think you're really in the mood or ready for a relationship yet (I don't mean that in a nasty way). Yes, your hormones will be all over the place, which will contribute, but I actually think that at the moment you'd be better off single and just meeting people. If you every have trouble choosing between men, it usually means that you don't love them enough and they're not the right person. Certainly don't cheat, that would look bad for you. But if you're feeling this way so soon into a relationship, then I think it's more likely your boyfriend isn't the right guy. You do need to think carefully, you don't want to split with him then regret it, but at the same time, remember you are young and that plenty of other guys will come along. Why not just spend time having fun (though please make sure you're not used by guys, really get to know them before you do anything with them so you know their motives. Don't be a toy to some guy who doens't care about you). You will find the right guy for you, but it will take time.
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