A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why is it i constantly hear women with young male children, speaking to another woman.OOOH he's a proper lad he's going to be a bit of a one with the women, then a beaming smile.Like whats this all about? Yipee my son is going to be a womaniser?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 I think it may be said without too much thought, really. It's a way to tell the mum that her son is very goodlooking...
I read a story years ago, can't remember exactly where, but it was about a child who had decided not to reveal what sex he or she was to his/her friends and the adults and people around. It was a bit of an eye opener for me as to how the two genders are dealt with from a very early age. The point of the story was that no one was really comfortable with not knowing the gender of the child. They needed that information for some reason in order to figure out how to talk or treat the child. The ungendered are mysterious and to be treated with suspicion. Boy or girl?
What's the first question you ask a new mother/father? "Boy or girl?" Right? And from then on the child is treated in a certain way, depending on the gender. So it's partly nurture here. I've also observed that small children behave in specific gender ways, the boys seem to run around and take things apart and whoop and play loudly, while girls seem to sit and play house and try to organize things. Nature? I don't know. Just observation. Ask a mother who has children of both genders and see what she says.
That being said, I also know some boys who are careful and gentle and not as rambunctious as they are expected to be, and some girls who are tomboyish, if you will allow the expression, and want to have short hair and not wear girly clothes.
Eventually the child will grow up and hopefully be a sensible adult untainted by the expectations of people who hope he'll be a womanizer. :)
But it is food for thought.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 I always forget things. Where I live, there's this "colorful" expression: "Keep your hen in a safe place; my rooster is on the loose". If we even have a saying about it, do you think this hasn't been happening for long?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (29 May 2008):
I respect other people's opinions, and I'm sure they are speaking from their hearts. However, the women I've heard saying "my son is a womanizer" or "he must be gay because he didn't sleep with me" (even if the man is married or otherwise TAKEN), these specific women DID MEAN what they seem to be meaning.
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A
female
reader, Twirly +, writes (29 May 2008):
 I actually think it's just Mums being proud of their little boys.
I don't think they mean that at all, they're just using a popular expression to express their love!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (29 May 2008):
Oops! As to why some women would say this (not most women, of course) we would need to ask them, specifically. Double standard, they call it.
Have you also heard it in the other "flavor", "He didn't even respond to my advances. I'm sure he's gay"?
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (29 May 2008):
 I don't think these people REALLY understand what they are saying.This comes from the culture, its a good thing that young men have all the ladies or have women chasing after him or that they can "smooth talk" a woman. In reality, its promoting this stereotype...instead of saying "he plays well with others" or "he has great social skills" which are far more important than how well he does with the ladies, especially at such a young age! Think about it...If this were a beautiful young girl who will have men chasing her down, the urge would be to protect your little girl..not present them to the world as a piece of meat!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (29 May 2008):
In my humble opinion, you've hit the nail. This indeed happens. Believe it or not, I've even heard one woman say this to her son (who, by the way, has six children with four different women): "I told you to come where no one would know you, but, you fool, you got this girl pregnant and she knows where to find you". This words of wisdom were said when he got the first girl pregnant. No comments were made about anything before that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I think they mean he's going to be a hit with the ladies cause he be goodlooking when he's older.
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A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (29 May 2008):
There are (at least) two views on this question.First, of course I hope these women don't mean that they want their son to be a hurtful womanizer, breaking hearts left and right. That would NOT be good!!Second, I think maybe it's a kind of genetic pride, that their offspring will propagate i.e., perhaps they've been afraid he would never attract a decent woman and they'll never have grandchildren! so it's kind of a smile to think he might have a choice! One of my friends has a college age son, and i saw him in their family Christmas photo, and he has turned out to bevery handsome! She's a very long-time friend whom I love very much, and i couldn't help thinking to myself, out of love for her: wow, women will surely look at him! (He looks quite like she did at his age, only male, really stunning -- and nice personality, too!)Some men are charmers, and the hope is that they can learn how to be kind, considerate people, too.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): That is not something i would brag about if that was my son. Who wants a lad who is a male chavanist pig, cos that is how i view womanisers. Nothing to brag about.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 They are just proud to have an attractive son. I dont think they would actually aprove of them sleeping around.
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (29 May 2008):
I think its just another way of saying 'My sons going to be good looking and popular'
Though it would be alot more encouraging to see them saying 'my sons going to be a genius'
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A
female
reader, tsurugi-ijin +, writes (29 May 2008):
 :) I get what you mean but i supose its better than mothers looking at their sons and going :
"Aww.. hes going to look JUST like Shrek when hes older"
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