A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I work at a school where most of the teachers are female and many are single. As a single male I'm attracted to a few of them but I never show interest or do or say anything to alert them to my interest. 1 of these teachers has invited me to her home, asked me for home repair help and is a very nice attractive woman in my age bracket. I should mention that as employees, we are not allowed to become romantically involved. I became quite fond of her and would like to date her. The policy of not being allowed causes me to stand back, but my heart has a serious interest in her. I feel like I'm going to miss the boat with this fine lady who shows a serious interest in me as well. I get very tempted to ask her out, I'm frustrated by the school policy. Should I talk to her about it and let her know I have interest in her and discuss the school's policy? Would any of you take a chance and date without letting anyone know? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (22 December 2013):
Very easy to end up dating someone from work since you spend so much time there. That said, its almost always a bad decision.
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (20 December 2013):
I dated a co worker once. It was a 3 year relationship. When he broke up with me it broke my heart. I had to see him at work and at times work with him. It was torture. In saying that, It was one of my best relationships. It has been two years, I left my job and I haven't seen him since.
The heart is not something to play with. I wish you all the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2013): Dating co-workers is a risky business, though if you made sure you kept it really private and ensured you were civil/not awkward with each other should it go badly then I don't see why not :) Whilst a career is important, love is also up there too! Become friends and spend time with each other, and just play it by ear :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 December 2013):
 I would NOT risk my livelihood by breaking that rule.
I would however discuss it with her and figure out which one of you is willing to switch jobs if it's that important.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Yes... I would talk to her about your feelings toward her. AND, if her's are reciprocal, then you and she need to decide which of you will leave the employ of the school, and you and she can then become "an item" with no strings attached, and no fear of repurcussions at being "found out."
If she sez she doesn't want to go that route... then take her at her word.... agree that you and she will maintain your friendship, short of the romantic bit that you'd like, and life will go on...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Dating a co-worker is a big no-no for me. If it doesn't work out the awkwardness and the possibility of drama is HUGE.
And part from the no dating policy, do you know what the repercussions would be? Would one of you have to resign? Because if that is the case, I would keep it VERY private and if down the line you actually become a couple one of you would have to look for a new job.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Well, in theory not. If you do get found out, and punished or fired - then for some reason your love story goes bust , as it is far from ompossible, then you have jeopardized or lost your job.. and are also without the girl, so it was for nothing. So sheer rationality would say " no ".
In practice , tons of people face this dilemma every day - and they solve it by keeping things very private and on the down low and being careful to not get caught.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 December 2013):
 I'd probably avoid dating from work simply because if it all went wrong, things could get akward, but some people do meet their husband/wife at work.
I guess if you are the kind of person who falls in love every other week and changes your mind frequently, you could easily piss people off...and like I said, it could get akward but if you strike up a friendship with someone special and get closer and think it might lead to long term then that is different....seems like this might be the case for you.
Maybe just keep your flirting/romance out of work hours, nobody has to know but perhaps build the friendship first and take your time, because it would be a shame to get all het up and excited if she wasn't interested in you in that way.
Schools and companies have these policies to avoid conflict but plenty of people have flouted the rules and met their match. If things take off and work is complaining...one of you might have to go work elsewhere but thats no big deal if you love someone and want to be with them.
Remember you are a human being before you are an employee :-)
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A
male
reader, Leykis101 +, writes (19 December 2013):
 Not if you like your job I wouldn't, you shouldn't even talk to these women, you should restrict your dialog to one of the 3 options I post below, A. Hello, B. How Are You(Optional) C. Goodbye, never dip your pen in company ink, you'll do whatever you want, but I wouldn't if I was you bro, it will never end well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2013): In my opinion, you should develop a friendship with her at first and take it from there. I would not hold back on seeing her outside of work. I think when you get a better picture of what she wants later from the friendship that question of whether you should be involved romantically or not would pop up naturally. Good Luck.
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