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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: OK, just a simple question. If your boyfriend stayed in touch with a girl while seeing you, who you know used to be a "f*** buddy" would you be concerned. I mean, even if he told you they were just friends etc... would you have a problem with him still contacting her? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, motherhen  +, writes (9 September 2010):
Hiya,
Personally I would have a problem and would have to be honest with him about it.
F*buddies are NOT friends, they f***, so what is there to talk about except f***ing, which when you get down to it he should be doing with you and only you.
If he still wants to be "friends" with her then fine, at least you know where you stand, although behind the feelings of a f*buddy is not a good place to be.
xxx
A
male
reader, Chucklwaters  +, writes (9 September 2010):
"Just Friends" is BS. In nearly all male/female friendships somebody wants to get into somebody's pants. And the fact that they were F-buddies in the past proves the point. Tell him it's her or you - and that'll decide it once and for all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): F-buddys staying in touch are like a car at a stoplight. The motor is still running, and as soon as there is a green light, they are off again. F-buddys stay in touch for the opportunity to F again...simple as that. Now if they were genuinely friends, then an occasional "how are you" kinda thing is OK. But this guy is reminiscing about sex and taunting her...not OK in my book.
My current GF had several FWB before me, and possibly some flat out one-nighters. She writes back to the ones she was genuinely friends with, and I am OK with that. However, she doesnt reach out to them as far as I know. It is only the usual "how you been" stuff. One guy was persistently texting her for a hookup, and I finally told her I would not tolerate it. He was ungentlemanly and simply wanted sex. I admit though, I have my eyes open ofr EVERY guy who contacts her. I allow her to write back, but only because I want to show her I trust her...as long as it is platonic only.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Then most definitly i wouldnt be his girlfriend. simple as that. mal
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Yep, now I'd be worried.. sexual conversations doesn't seem like a proper friendship to have.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Yes you should be worried. F-buddies aren't friends.. That would be FWB (Friend with benefits). F-buddies hook up and have sex when they have an itch and no one to scratch it.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (9 September 2010):
yes..
you should be concerned,
she wasnt his girlfriend
witch means there are no feelings involved between the two of them and it has beel all about sex
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 September 2010):
Nope.. no concerns at all.. unless he is hiding her away from me, as long as I know, I don't worry about his friends. People need friends. You date me, you need to be faithful to me, I don't check on you or worry about you, but if I find out, then your gone.. easy as that.
How do I know if your cheating.. well, I should know what your doing, and you know what I'm doing.. any messing about, lies or funny behaviour, and then your out if you can't give me proper answers.
I like relationships built on trust and honesty, then I don't have to worry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalso, he left his computer on once when he'd been on facebook and the convo between them was still on there, he called her hot and asked if she was seeing anybody, also talked about what they used to do in bed
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe texts her, and talks to her on facebook. I was told he met up with her when he went back to visit friends in his home town.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): heya,
In this circumstance, to me, a F buddy comes under the same category an ex.
it's up to you if you want him talking to her or not, if he is adamant about talking to this person, he may go the length of secretly doing it, and that equates to lying.
however you may also lay down some ground rules and say that he is only allowed to see her with you, or with mutual friends, never alone. and that he may only speak to her through phone and text? or some variant.
mainly let him know that you feel threatened by her, if he loves you enough, he will take some steps to fix things, but you need to be willing to compromise somewhere along the line.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Probably...what exactly d you mean by contact. does he meet her for a coke....text her secretly...talk on the phone in private?
or does he do the occasional "hey how are you doin" thing that we do with old friends?
if he is open about it and it is only the old friend thing then i wouldnt worry... but i dont think i would like it even then to be honest.
However if you are just trying to make him not have contact with anyone in his old friend circle that he slept with....that may be tricky depending on what kind of person he is. Is he a player?
If he is and you choose to date him...you really are just going to make yourself miserable.
mal
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