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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i'm gay. i'm in uni first yr. i have very few friends. but then i met this guy who was a really gud friend. and i had a crush on him. we hanged out a couple of time. but i think i ruined everything now. i didnt tell him i was gay before but since he was giving me signals dat he was interested in me i thought i'll just come out. atleast i thought he gave me signals, like getting very close to me.. and touching my hand an all.. plus his facebook says he is interested in both men and women. so i told him i was gay during chat.. and he was surprised.. too surprised.. and i felt awkward so i told him abt his facebook and he got freaked out. suddenly now he has a gf.. and when i try to hang out with him he rejects me saying he is busy with gf.. i think he is avoiding me.. and i feel i shouldnt have open myself to him.. i'm starting to think he could be homophobic too but he said he's got gay friends before. anyway, i really want to be his friend atleast. but i don't know wat to do now. wat should i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): thanx everyone for replying..
he is gone for holidays so i can't meet him for a while.. so would it be a good idea to mail him and let him know that i'm content being just friends.. or would that be too weird? because i'm really bad at confronting people.. i'll forget half the things i want to say.
waiting for reply
A
male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (11 September 2010):
Next time you talk to him just tell him that you understand that he's not gay and that you won't persue anything with him. Tell him that you are perfectly content with just being friends. It really work with one of my friends that I liked. But here are just a couple sujestions for the future. If you like someone just tell them that you are gay and then give it some time. Let them adjust to the fact that you're gay first. Then if you are going to tell them you are interested in them, tell them that in person.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 you need something to distract you from this nonsense. there might be something there but while your waiting for HIM to figure this out you will feel crap more than you need to.
just find a hobby and dont give him too much thought. all this "ooo i love him" stuff is just because you dont have anything else going on. maybe's and daydreams dont turn into relationships in my experience. you deserve something real.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): It does sound like you miss him. That fact no one else is around really won't help you.
How long are your holidays?
Is there anyone from around where you are staying that you could try to befriend? If there isn't then try to keep yourself busy till everyone gets back form holidays. Do something you've wanted to do for a while but never have. Rock climbing for example... Or art? Something you're
interested in... Go to classes and meet new people there.
You'll be ok. I know it's hard to get over someone you really liked, but you're not the only one that's been there. Thousands and thousands of people have been through this... I've been there myself, and althoug it hurts right now, if you keep yourself busy it will soon go away. You'll find someone else, you'll get better friends and you'll be happy again soon.
And you're welcome for the reply! x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): i miss him a lot. now i'm starting to think i'm in love with him. if i c a guy from his back i think its him and when i go up to him it turns out its someone else.. i'm getting really depressed over this.. i guess i have to find new friends but now its holiday and most of em' left home. so i feel more alone.. i can't go home for this holiday.. have too many assignments to finish..
thank u 'youwish' and 'emivia' for replying :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): You will get better friends!
This must really hurt because it was so hard for you to come out to him in the first place.
I agree with YouWish... That he may be struggling with his sexuality... And that it is his problem.
But on the other hand you may have read him wrong. Interested in men and women on facebook doesn't have to mean that's your sexual orientation.... It could be for friendships or for networking. And if this is the case, maybe he feels a bit akward because he knows you're attracted to him. Maybe he's not homophobic, just uncomfortable with a guy being attracted to him. There's a big difference.
But you'll have better friends that you can be open with.... And someday you'll find a guy that does like you back. If you're struggling to make friends try joining some clubs in your uni. If it's your first year you can't have been there long. Give yourself time. There may even be a GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transexual) club there that you can join and get support in... Or even meet someone
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 September 2010):
 He might be struggling with his own sexuality. He may feel awkward knowing that you might be interested in him, so he's distancing himself from you.
I don't think there is much you can do about it. It's his problem to sort out. You should find someone who is also gay and allow yourself to become attracted to him.
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