A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello Cupids,I have a problem. A extremely life changing problem. My girlfriend is moving to Australia for work next month and has asked me to go with her. We've been seeing each other for 2 years and we are deeply in love. But the problem is, I have a 3 year old daughter. When i was about 18 i had a one night stand and me and the girl involved conceived a child. I love her more than anything on earth and will do anything for her. I really don't want to leave her. But the love my girlfriend and i want to spend the rest of my life with her. I can easily leave my current job and a work visa shouldn't be to hard to come by. Would it be right to leave my daughter? But would it be right to stay and leave the girl i love and want to spend the rest of my life with?Thank you so much.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Thank you everyone for reading the question and answering.
Before I read what everyone put, i had a talk with my girlfriend. I told her that I couldn't leave my daughter. I felt i needed to get other peoples opinion. I think it was obvious that i couldn't go but still needed to ask.
Thanks a million everyone. Your all Top with a capital T.
A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (24 September 2008):
 My mate's mum live in autralia. She is a total bitch because of it. She has no woman to talk to. Your girl will have daddy issues for sure. This woman may love you, but this little poppet IS you!
However - you haven't mentioned what the deal with your sprog is - do you have custody, is it a once a week thing or what? Give us a clue, please.
Jelly
xxx
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A
male
reader, WiredReds  +, writes (24 September 2008):
This answer shouldn't be that hard to answer. If you have full custody of the child, it's a no brainer, go with your girlfriend and take the kid with you. If you do not have full custody, then you either get it or don't go. You are a father with the responsibility of a child, the child must always come first. The child may have been a mistake, but you can't just give up now and head for greener pastures. Think about the hardships your child will have without a father. Don't do that. Children always come first, even before yourself. You said, "I love her more than anything on earth and will do anything for her." Prove it!
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A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Your daughter is at the age where she is totally dependant on both parents. It's going to be difficult whichever decision you make.
You stay with your daughter and you're torn because of your girlfriend. You stay with your girlfriend and you're torn because of your daughter.
I'm sorry that you can't have it both ways. I admire you for sticking by your daughter.
Me personally, I'd go to Australia and come back every, I dunno, say three months, and take your daughter to Australia with you sometimes.
And when she's old enough, let her make the decision as to where she wants to stay.
Good luck. x
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A
female
reader, littlesuziepie +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Hi I have a story for you and its true. I have a 12 year old daughter and I haven't been with her father for over 6 years. He lived in the same town as is all her life. He was dating a woman he was in love with. They were in love and she asked him to move from Massachusetts to California with her. She was in the military. They dated for 2 years. He decided to break his baby girls heart and move with his girlfriend. They were gone for about 6 months when this woman told him she wanted out of the relationship. She dumped him like a hot potato and now he is heart broken for leaving his baby the one girl that will love him 4 ever and ever for this woman of a 2 year relationship that changed her mind and stopped loving him. The moral of the story is that your child is your for the rest of yours and her life but this woman may not be your for ever. Your child needs you. This woman doesn't need you to live and grow. Think hard over this. Your woman is wrong to ask you to leave your childs life like this. Very selfish. My daughter is so broken up over her dad choosing a woman over her that she never wants to see his face again but cries at night sometimes for him to come home. Its rather sad. Your choice is in the rest of your life with your daughter or the rest of who knows how long with this woman. Also remember she isn't the only woman capable of loving you. Let her go if her lifes dream is to work there. She may come back to you but you have an obligation to your child to support and love and be there for life.Unless of corse her mother finds a good step dad for the child that will treat her as his own. Because girls need their daddy so they don't grow up with daddy issues and become mommies at a young age. Get what I'm saying? Good luck in your choices. I wish your daughter lots of love and happiness.
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