A
male
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*iere
writes:Hi,I am 16 years old and just met this wonderful girl who I am in love with. However she does not seem to feel the same way. I am still a virgin and she rather prefers a sexual relationship. I know she slept with other men before and I wished she still was a virgin. I could break up of course and tell her I want to do the first time with a virgin and someone who really loves me too, but I think I never get a second chance. Since I never had a relationship before and I am very shy.
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sex with another, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, viere +, writes (1 January 2006):
viere is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you al very much for you answers! i guess i will ask her to give her my time and if she does not want to give it,i will wait for the right moment when i am 100% certain.Thanks again!
A
female
reader, deirde +, writes (30 December 2005):
I know you are 16 and thats the legal age to have sexual intercourse with other people and you would tell me if you could that most people your age have already had sex like this girl you are in love with.
I would say to you take your time in what you do, make sure you are ready for this, you sound like you are very unsure about sex especially as you are undecided about this girl in question.
Think it about it before you jump, don't regret it like a lot of people do when they grow up. I did and I wouldn't want you to feel the same.
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A
male
reader, smartoldman +, writes (28 December 2005):
You might be surprised at what could happen if you tell her you are a virgin and you are in love with her. any man or woman loves to make love to a virgin for the first time. two virgins making love for the first time seem to be shy and lost as to what to do with each other. tell her and ask her to show you the ropes.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (28 December 2005):
It seems like you wouldn't be very comfortable having sex with this girl as she isn't a virgin and that makes you feel inferior. You shouldn't feel like that in a relationship and she doens't seem to respect you and your wishes and isn't in love. Sex should be with 2 people who BOTH love each other.
Don't worry one day you will find a girl who loves you deeply and who you love and it will just feel right to have sex. When two people love each other enough, if one isn't a virgin but the other is, it won't be an issue because you will have trust and respect, so one person won't feel inferior.
I think you will regret it if you have sex now with a girl who makes you feel inferior and who doesn't return the same feelings. I think you should wait till you are 100% sure. These doubts are signs that the timing and the other person isn't right for you.
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 Viere,
It's not about virginity, it about the love, trust and respect behind a sexual relationship.
Your first time should be with someone that you care deeply for, it's a special moment shared between 2.
But what i gather from this girl who you feel so deeply for she isn't interested in an emotional relationship and if you do sleep with her you going to have your heart broken, do you really want that? Do you really want to put yourself through that pain and heartanch? Cause let me tell you, it's not easy falling out of love with someone and it takes a long time to heal a broken heart! And if you do decide to make her your first, it will only make the heartache worse!
Don't do it to yourself, you have alot to give and you are young, you have all the time to find someone special to give yourself to!
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A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (28 December 2005):
 Hi viere,
I always thought that it would be best to lose my virginity to someone who was also a virgin, but I came to see that whether or not someone is a virgin is not important compared to whether or not they love and respect you. Some people aren't virgins because they lost their virginity to someone that they loved deeply in the past, and this doesn't make them any less of a person. Others lost their virginity to a one-night stand or to a fleeting relationship, but this doesn't make them any less of a person, either. It isn't a person's past that is important, as much as how they treat YOU in the present.
The thing that concerns me in your case is that you say that the girl you are in love with doesn't seem to feel the same way about you. You need to ask her how she feels and get a good idea about it before the two of you become sexually intimate. You will feel much better about the decision to lose your virginity to her if you know that she loves you (or that she doesn't love you, but that you accept it and can come to terms with it). Most people have a very good memory of their first time, and for this reason, it should be special. You don't want to regret losing your virginity and wish that your first time had been more meaningful.
In any case, you are only 16 years old, and you just met the girl, so you shouldn't feel pressured into doing something that you're not ready for. Take your time and move at your own pace. You have your entire life ahead of you to explore your sexual side. If she does love you, she will give you all of the time that you need. If she doesn't, she will pressure you into having sex with her for her own selfish reasons, and you don't want that.
Although you are shy, there will be other opportunities to be sexually intimate. You are young, and you will meet other people who you will have relationships with. This I can assure you.
Just follow your heart and be careful.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, not again +, writes (28 December 2005):
hi there, i think regardless of whether the person you sleep with for the first time is a virgin or not, it IS importnant that they rspect you, and respect your virginity and how you feel about it. Make sure it's someone who cares about you. best of luck. :)
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (27 December 2005):
it would not be a good idea to have sex with someone else just because they are a virgin too. this girl might feel the same about you. if you love her and you really want to have sex then do it but be careful. does she know you are a virgin? i'm sure she'd be happy to show you the way.
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