A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is white beauty the 'ideal'? I'm brown skinned, black haired asian female and I'm getting a bit disillusioned about being brown. Blonde hair, thin lips, blue eyes and all that is meant to be the 'ideal' of beauty and quite frankly without gouging out my eyes and bleaching my hair, I cannot do that.I am thinking of giving up dating and just letting 'the ideal' people mate. Even in asian cultures, preference is given to light skinned asians and my parents could not find any guy to marry me as they all thought I was too dark. Why is the world so dam screwed up that only a small minority of people get to have the good life? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 my BF prefers darker skinned Asian women as his ideal...so for him you are more beautiful than I am...
A
female
reader, angelmolly465 +, writes (8 August 2011):
Honey, your perfect the way you are if god want your hair the color it would be if it were bleached he would've made it that way if god wanted you to be white you would be white I'm white myself and VERY christian I hardly believe in make-up God wants you like you are and that's why he made you like you are :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2011): I am white skinned, but i often have a natural olive sun tan, which i have to say i prefere. So much money is spent on the white skin's trying to go darker, fake tans often the(carrot orange ones ...lol ...quite true)...spray tan, bottled tan, tubed tan, sunbeds, etc etc! so this must answer some of your question, that some whites do like darker shades of skin and see this as their ideal.However I have a scotish friend with the most unusual pale skin and she looks very very unusually beautiful with it....so yes some white skin is actually very beautiful but by no means the ideal, but neither is dark skin the ideal it's inside the skin that matters.Rainbow!!!!! we are all different and unique no one's skin colour is better than the other.spunky monkey
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A
female
reader, silenced +, writes (5 August 2011):
 I'm so sorry you've been put through so much just because of how you look.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder is a cliche statement to make people feel better...but it's completely true. Be proud of who you are and know your good qualities. You cannot change your skin tone--and if you can, don't try!--so all you can do is embrace it and love yourself for who you are. At your state, it is a long journey, but just focus on being happy in life and your confidence will pop in on its own when you take care of your emotional needs first. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 August 2011):
 In some places in the world, people bleach their skin to fulfill some sort of beauty ideal. Here, the pale turn ORANGE trying to make themselves beautifully browned. Just watch Jersey Shore and you will see fair-skinned folks trying to fit into your "ideal" beauty, and instead looking like a carrot!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): hey baby girl black is beautiful and be proud of whom you are
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A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Hi,On this topic I would also like to add that you don't have to be white or pale skinned to look beautiful (o.O) you look beautiful the way you are ... all you need to do is be hygienic and look your best color of your skin should not define beauty its the wrong idea that someone has put in your head... let me give you a little insight of my experience ... the 1st girl I liked was short and had brown skin well she wanted a guy who was rich. So I tried again2nd girl was beautiful and not that fair she had wheatish skin tone she ended up becoming a prostitute lol... I told her to give it up and get a different job she said its easy money, fast and good amount I didn't like the idea of getting married to a girl who spends her nights in another man's bed... so I tried again3rd she had really messed up hair she was pale skinned she was a was an aspiring architect me had common interests but she wanted to marry a doctor who earns a good salary... so I tried again4th she was fair and I was madly in love with her I used to be in a different world when I was with her ... she had a busted nose but I found her to be beautiful... alas she left me coz she met a guy who has more financial security to offer her XDMoral of the story: not that all the women were looking for gold at the end of the tunnel but that if I can fall in love with women who are not fair 1st, has bad hygiene 2nd, had bad taste 3rd, and physical deformities 4th I don't see any reason why you should be sad ... and further more feel that your skin tone and your appearance has to do with not finding a guy ... be happy with who you are... there are 100000000 of guys out there xD I'm sure there is some1 for you ... do you know what is the most precious weapon women have :S its a secret don't tell any girl its a simple smile :D guys get bowled over when they look at a girl smile :P and learn to play us a little ^.^ they like that.I wish you good luck and me too XD hehe ... Its been too long and I don't know how to talk to women o.O rofl
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 August 2011):
I don't think white is the ideal beauty at ALL! Maybe I'm biased because I'm bi-racial and a lovely shade of in-between... but I know it and I've seen it with my own two (brown) eyes: there are hot babes in every corner of the universe, in every color of skin, eyes & hair. There are so many kinds of beauty - not just this blonde, blue-eyed, fair skin kind. That's only one sort.
So stop this madness with stopping dating to let the "ideal people" mate. This thought is making my stomach churn. Girlfriend, you are gorgeous in your own perfect way. Inside and out. As for the outside, brown skin is a blessing - we have darker skin to mask little flaws and bumps - on fair skin, the redness & bumps stick out like a sore thumb. We don't just turn into fried lobsters in the sun. Jewelry and colors sparkle and shine next to our skin.
You need to surround yourself with loving people and laughter, because nothing in the universe is more gorgeous than a smile.
Get yourself some new idols. Beyoncé, Tyra Banks, Bipasha Basu, Iman, Naomi Campbell. These women are strong and beautiful. You are too! Good luck, sweet!
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (4 August 2011):
 no white beauty is not the ideal. in every race there are people who range from beautiful looking to ugly as sin. and every individual has their own ideas of what is beautiful and what is not. personality also helps a lot too. if a physically beautiful has a horrible personality then they will be absolutely repellent.
i have heard of this problem before in the Asian culture and i think it is a real pity that this shallowness exists. if you cannot/will not date or marry outside of your culture then i suppose the only thing you can do is stay out of the sun to avoid getting even darker skinned and learn some make up techniques to enhance the features you do like and disguise the ones you don't
x
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A
male
reader, eek +, writes (4 August 2011):
 to me it sounds like you have lost your self confidence. Your skin color, hair color, race etc does not matter. Its who you are as a human being that matters. I have dated many different women for all sorts of different backgrounds i have never thought one is more attractive because of their skin color.My advice to you is you need to take time to find yourself. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Then you will find someone who can love you for you.
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