A
female
age
41-50,
*appytobe
writes:Okay so I've been awfully curious about how different first times having sex has gone. This isn't like an advice needed thing. I would just like to hear how male and female first times went. Did you regret it after? What made you feel like you were ready even if you were or were not? Did it bring the both of you closer or tear you aparat? Just really anything you'd like to share I'd love to hear. It could actually be useful to me, so please, Share!Also, to guys:It's the general belief that ya'll care alot less about losing virginitys and stuff. Is this true? Was losing your virginity, or even just sex with someone a big emotional deal to you? Or does it have no emotional connection at all?:) thanks guys! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I'm 25, almost 26, and still a virgin :)
A
male
reader, PD  +, writes (15 June 2009):
My wife and I were virgins until we wedded at age 25/26 (close to your age). Because we both were not experience, (well, not even qualified to be called amateurs) the first time was quite disappointing. I still wonder if I penetrated her correctly then. But since our wedding was simple (only a tea party), we had intercourse a few times on our wedding day + night. Likely, the marriage was "correctly" consummated before midnight :). Well staying virgins before marriage seem to be of great value to us. Our apparent "sexual incompetence" moved us to "try harder" each day and many times a day (to the extend that I don't wear clothe at home for five years). Such sexual adventures increase our bonding and until today, 15 years into marriage, we still hot with sex. So in one sentence, looking back at our "first time" was "disappointing but extremely satisfying".
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female
reader, Devil's Angel  +, writes (13 June 2009):
My first time was a year ago. I was 16 and he was 18, we'd only been together for a month but things were intense between us, I wanted us to wait for at least two months but when it came down to it I couldn't say no...and like most people say it was a bit of a disappointment. He got me all worked up, then stuck on a johnny, he was that excited he came after 2 seconds (well 3 mins or so) and i didnt even notice, i dont even think he was in me properly because i couldnt feel him...but would never say that to him. Anyway, we did it for the second time a couple of weeks later and that time it was more like a first time, i bled quite a bit and it hurt when he went in me so much it took my breath away but he carried on and the pain went within seconds. I was mega embarrassed after cuz all i could think was crap, ive bled all over him, he's going to be totally disgusted but he wasnt, he just said its normal, you're getting used to it. He was the perfect gentleman.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Hmm lets see I was 14 and my boyfriend was 17 and we did it at my house and I was scared. It was his first time too as mine and well it was awkward and only lasted about five minutes. Apparently I bled a bit and I think i kind of went numb in my mind not actually using anaesthetic lol to let him break into my vagina and i just felt like a bone snapping but it was obviously the hymen but wasnt sore. first times are quite awkward but its nice feeling close to someone. it was pretty crap about 6 times after that then i started feeling the amazing stuff and we learnt our stuff for two years by ourselves. we broke up about a month ago cos he cheated...3 times but whatever.
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female
reader, shaniquas3 +, writes (9 June 2009):
im 16 and still a virgin!!im happy with my choice cause people look up to me and it makes me feel different..my motto DARE TO BE DIFFERENT!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): I lost mine when I was 13 to my boyfriend of ten months who was 16. I was madly in love with him and I was so glad I lost it to someone I loved. Sadly we broke up a while after. It hurt alot, but it was beautiful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): I was 16. I went to a conert with some of my friends and we had booked a hotel room so we didnt have to travel home. Back at the hotel we meet some people and they came into our room. I ended up having sex with one of them, he was 18. I regret it alot to be honest, it ment nothing to me that my first time was with a boy i had meet for like 3/4 hours. I regret this because im not usually like this, a felt like a slut after it and to be honest i didnt even enjoy it at the time.
xx
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female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (7 June 2009):
 I lost my virginity when i was 14 in the local park on halloween while there was a drugs raid in the houses close by. I'm not joking this really did happen.
I lost it to my boyfriend who i am still with now :)
I've never regreted it and i know i was young at 14 but i just knew he was the one! He was a long distance relationship but he came and saw me every week!
Livia
xoxox
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): I'm 17 and still a virgin. :)
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female
reader, happytobe +, writes (5 June 2009):
happytobe is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys :) This is actually all very helpful, to hear all different varieties of first times. Please keep responding!
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Ahhh, to reminisce about this moment. Well, I was 19... I had gone through an awful lot of boyfriends in high school, but because of extremely thorough (and fun) Sex Ed classes and lots of time hanging out with Planned Parenthood, I was going into things very informed and not about to lose my virginity to some loser who didn't deserve it. I was holding out for someone who I knew was worth it.
So, here I was at 19, just moved across the country on a whim with a friend to Portland. I met Gerald 6 days into living in a new place and immediately hit it off. We started dating and while he was extremely sexually seasoned (22 partners), he was more than happy to wait. So, 4 months later, things just felt right and there you go. I made both of us get full health checks before it happened, and he was totally fine with that (another sign of a classy guy).
How the first time was PHYSICALLY, well different question. He had the skills, but I just could NOT relax and it literally took a month of determination, patience and fun to finally get him all the way in and have a successful sex sesh. Most painful/delightful month of my life, let me tell you!!
But, 4 years later, we're getting married and I'm happy that I held out for him. I would have never guessed I would end up with one sexual partner EVER in my life, but I'm happy it ended up that way. And lucky for me, he's the AWESOME in the sack. So there's a happy ending to my story. Hooray!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): im 16, male and i lost it about a week ago, because i thought it was what i wanted. i was still getting over what she told me about her ex boyfriend and it crossed my mind a few times during sex and i lost my erection.
i thought id get over it if i had sex wth her. wrong. i somehow have lost most of my feelings for her. i wasnt 100% sure i was nieve and i wanted to see what the fuss was about. i regret it fully and all thats changed me is that i want to have sex more and the fact i can say im not a virgin. i thought i loved her but i didnt.
advice would be sex isnt what its made out to be all the time, be 100% sure and make sure the relationship is relaxed and has very few if not no issues to intervene with sex. oh and wear protection.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): To be honest i dont believe in virginity im not the religious type.Anyway i was 14 he was 32 we were only mates but we did it for fun. Hell yeah it was fun and i dont regret it.ive nearly always liked older men they are mature and experienced :) x
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 June 2009):
(A male guy-person of the masculine sex responds.)
Of course, everybody is different. I don't think it "matters less" to guys - but it probably matters in a different way. My first time was definitely emotional for me. I don't regret it at all, and yes - it brought us closer together. Even though it was lousy sex, it was still very significant and meaningful to us!
I was 23 when my wife and I exchanged virginity (she took mine and I got hers in return). The story is in the thread "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night...", at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html ]. (Scroll down the thread to find my post.)
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Okay, here's truth from a much older American male. It was back in the day when drive-in movies were still very popular. I think it was probably in 1961 when I was 14 on a first date with a 15-year-old girl from Garland (near Dallas) Texas. We made-out throughout most of the movie, which was the first version of "The Village of the Damned." lol
Missed most of the movie anyway, then we moved to a nearby city park in my 1954 Ford sedan. In the back seat, things got hot and I first penetrated a vagina that night, but I was somewhat overwhelmed by it all. She seemed to get plenty of satisfaction from my attempt, but I never finished.
Having not experienced ejaculation other than by masturbation at that point, or during a couple of wet dreams, my first vaginal intercourse seemed too slippery to induce my release. Soon after, with other girls, I adjusted to the sensations and such was the beginning of my sexual history.
Well, the real climax of that first attempt was that somebody spotted my car in the park that night and called the cops. At the time, 14-year-old youngsters in America were allowed to drive on work permits. But we were both busted that night for our naughty activities. Our parents had to claim us from juvenile detention in Dallas, and it was not too pleasant trying to explain my activities to my parents. I never saw my first girl again, but I've never forgotten and still can recall her name. What a gal!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): I'm 18 I'm still a virgin I've been with my bf for two years we've done everthing except for sex we tlk bout it all the time n I feel like I'm ready but its rly scary. I wuldnt want that to ruin our awesome relationship I just think that losing your virginity. Is such a big deal u Shuld wait until u are 100% sure :)
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Oh for me it was "rumblin, bumblin, and stumblin!" It was well over 30 years ago for me, and I can only say I was a "one pump chump". Yep I blew my load before I got my downstroke.Mine was with an 18 year old girl when I was 13. I remember being way too attracted to her breasts and before I knew what hit me my seed was all over her thigh and my face was redder than a beet. To this day I am not sure if I even got it in! lol.It was memorable only in the fact that I was about as useless as a sack of hammers. But I learned...BOY O BOY DID I LEARN!.
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female
reader, Blondy +, writes (5 June 2009):
 I was 14, my boyfriend was also 14 and we were eachothers first times. I had no regrets after and I still don't. I had been dating him for 8 months. It was the day before Valentines and he had flowers sent to my class so that made me want to do something extra special for the holiday. We hung out that night and made out a bunch and thats as far as it went, at first. We lived pretty close to eachother and I went home at 10:00 because that was my parents rule. I couldn't stop thinking about how sweet those flowers were though and thoughts about him just kept permeating into my mind, so I snuck out and went back to his house, and then it just kind of happened. We started by kissing, then off came the clothes, he did oral on me for the first time but I didn't to him (I didn't think I needed to because he already had a boner, I know better now.) and that was that. It was after midnight too so technically I lost it on Valentines day. :)It didn't last very long and it was physically a little uncomfortable but I didn't bleed which I am thankful for, periods grossed him out really bad and he would have been freaked out by that. Afterwards we both layed there staring at eachother wondering what had just happened. I remember smelling his sperm for some reason, just cause I was curious and I didn't like the smell at all. I was very happy about my decision and it wasn't awkward at all. We continued to have sex every night from then on for almost a year before we broke up. I think it did bring us closer together and we had a great relationship for about a year and a half. I was glad that I lost is to another virgin because we both didn't know what to do which made me more comfortable with it. We learned all the neat little tricks together which was fun. Thats about it, it was pretty awesome!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): My first time was at age 15;I was raped.He was 19 and was a friend of mine..or so I thought.We went for a car ride, and he drove out to the local lake.When we got there, he began to kiss me..at first I let him..but I got scared because I was a virgin.He forced me to walk to a small clearing, where he made me take off my clothes.I dont recall every detail..but I will never forget the pain as he forcfully entered me over and over..I recall feeling something inside me breaking and all the blood afterwords..I was 15..that is my first time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): OK, a guy answer.
When I was young I was an idiot. I heard all the guys bragging (not understanding that much of what they said was B.S.), and came to think of my virginity as a curse to be dispensed with as soon as possible.
When I was 16 I fell incredibly in love. She was a "good girl", so we moved through the stages agonizingly slowly (from my perspective). It was a couple of months before I got to second base; another two or three before third. Another couple of months after that before she'd touch me. But soon thereafter it was heavy petting to the max for both of us.
Since we'd gotten to know each other, and each others' bodies, so well, I was so sure that giving each other our virginities would simply be grand. It would be fireworks, the earth would move, all that. Wasn't to be. She broke up with me before it happened.
Instead I lost it in a drunken haze in a very inappropriate situation. Regretted it more because of the inappropriateness than because it wasn't what it could have been with my first love.
There were others before I started dating my future wife. I was her first. Honestly I can't say that I regret that she wasn't my first -- I've been faithful in the 30 years since, and I'm very glad to have had at least a few other experiences before, because there won't ever again be any other new ones.
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