A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes: I am getting married soon. My fiancee is divorced and I have always been single. She is also almost 2 years older to me. I have very high desire to have sex. She does let me love her not the way I want. My question is : Is it not my right to seek physical satisfaction from my wife? Or shouldn't my wife make sure that I am getting physically satisfied making love to her. Whenever I want to do something like kissing her on lips, using newer positions, anal etc she always resist is and pushes me to do it with me on top and just get done with it. It leaves me unhappy and unsatisfied. I talked to her but I do not know why she gets upset whenever I talk to her about love making. She says it is not good of me to tell her that I am left unsatisfied after doing all that I want with her when indeed i do exactly the way she wants. Please advise me as I am getting depressed thinking all this. I really want to enjoy love making and do not want to treat it as a job which should be finished asap. It is making me depressed and sad. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 June 2009):
This is hard to take in but if you two cannot please each other then don't get married.
Sex IS a big part of married life.
Read all the questions from people who are considering divorce because they cannot get satisfaction.
It is not your finace's DUTY to please you and she should NEVER do anything she doesn't want to. That is why it is so important to marry a girl with the same sex drive and desires as you. You have NO RIGHT to sex. It is a gift.
What do you do in foreplay and affection to make her happy? In what way are you making sure that SHE is satisfied?
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): I initially read this as you trying different things to satisfy her, which is commendable. And the idea that she wants you to just get on, get it done, and get off her, well, that's no way to have a decent sex life.
The reference to anal is a bit of a flag, though. Are you trying to push things on her that she's not in to?
In general I'd say that a successful marriage has to include sexual compatibility. Whatever is going on, you're seeing signs that maybe that's not happening. Do not proceed with the marriage until you get it figured out, 'cause any problems you have now won't just fix themselves once you say "I do."
Good luck.
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