A
female
age
51-59,
*tuck2
writes: I too am married and dating a married man for more than 2 years. It all started with small conversations which grew into daily conversations. Eventually, our spouses found out (now they have become friends) however, we can't leave each other alone. I know that we care for and love each other very much and he says that he wants to be with me and me with him. He takes very good care of me and my kids financially and me emtionally. One thing that I can do with him that I can't do with my husband is talk and express myself. What I am saying is that I can be me. Can this man really care for me as much as he says and will he ever leave his wife?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (6 October 2007):
I don't think he's going to leave her, you haven't said if he has any kids but you have mentioned you do...do you want them to leave their dad? I know that isn't the only reason you should be with your partner but if you love your kids, it will be good enough. Maybe if they still see him all the time but are you sure you want to leave him for this man who hasn't even already done it in a year? I'm not so sure. Hopefully you'll make the right choice, love just-ask-xx
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (6 October 2007):
Hi
If he hasnt left his wife within a year, he isnt likely to. Although that is a statistical fact, it tends to be quite an acurate one.
I cant believe you both live in this situation for that long to be honest but each to their own n all that.
I hope you eventually do whats right for you and all ends up ok.
C xxxx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (6 October 2007):
In your post, you don't mention whether he has any children with his wife, or what sort of commitments he may have with his wife. Also, you don't mention when your spouses found out; I suppose they didn't find out at the same time. And, you don't mention, either, what the reaction of your spouses was. I think all this would help us to know what the prospects of this relationship are.
I've never been married, so my advice is limited. I understand that the divorce rate in the United States is one out of two. So, statistically at least, the chances that he will leave his wife are as good as the chances that he will stay with her. On the one hand, it's been two years already and he hasn't left her. On the other hand, he keeps you financially and emotionally. It's hard to tell whether he would take such a step.
However, your relationship would imply YOUR leaving your husband, too. Apparently you're no longer living with him, or this other man wouldn't be keeping you financially.
You were not able to be yourself with your husband. Maybe your divorcing him would be the best step for you, no matter what the other man does.
Take care.
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