A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedBadly
writes:I started talking to my sister's boyfriend's best mate which ive only just started talking to, and he said he liked me and i liked him. i went over his place and and we hung out for about 4 or 5 days and then he was saying he was bored. and i was curious as to what i could do to make my company not boring so I ended up just trying anything and it seemed to work and we just played fighted and watching movies and things the other day, it was kinda awkward. Anyhow he texed me later on that day saying he was shy to kiss me even though i would say he was pretty confident and he isnt a virgin. then my sister's boyfriend said that its problem at the fact he's not a virgin and that i am and then friday came and i had already been to his and i went home coz i was going to party he was at and my ex boyfriend was there. but he kissed me during the party and then did again at the end. then he just seems different from the guy i spoke to those few days. im actually questioning myself whether to just sleep with him to make things between us better or just to question him.help !!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, ConfusedBadly +, writes (15 February 2010):
ConfusedBadly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your advise.
And he isnt my boyfriend but he said he liked me and i like him but he hasnt forced or asked me for sex but we've talked about it.
Thanks everyone :) xx
A
male
reader, HarryFlashman  +, writes (15 February 2010):
Sleeping with people does not repair relationships. Boy, would that be a simple answer! Doesn't work though. Whatever was going on, personality-wise, will still be going on... plus the extra pressure of a sexual relationship. You will end up feeling used. So don't do that.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 February 2010):
DO NOT sleep with him. I say that in capitals, because what he really wants is to use you for sex and nothing else. Find a better guy.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (14 February 2010):
Sex to repair a distant relationship is SO not the answer! You hung out with this guy for 5 days and he called you boring? You had a play fight and it was awkward and then you kissed and he's been distant? He has a problem with you being a virgin? And THIS is the guy you want to give your precious virginity away to? Oh no honey. No no no. I guarantee you that will just make everything even more awkward.
Honey. I know you like this guy and teenage romance can be awkward, but the guy you want to give your virginity to is a guy who cares for you and makes you feel loved and secure. The guy who is your boyfriend and who doesn't pressure you or make you feel bad for a being a virgin. The guy who cares about you and wants this special right of passage to be exactly that... special.
Not some jerk who is uncomfortable with your virginity and you can't comfortably talk to and who isn't even your BF yet. What are you thinking? You need to value yourself way more.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 February 2010):
 No sleeping with him won't make it all better. Sex is not a band aid. Sex is something two people who truly love and care for each other share.
If he is bored with you because you aren't having sex with him, then I'd dump him right away, he isn't interested in you, just your.. well vagina...
Why be a sell out?
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A
female
reader, Trust Charleyy +, writes (14 February 2010):
 Hello ConfusedBadly,
Your letter hit a raw nerve with me as i understand this subject all too well. I appreciate the struggle you are having and the confusion that this is causing you, but sleeping with him will only make things worse, not better. Sleeping with this guy will only add a mixture of feelings/emotions that will make the situation even more complicated. You said in your letter that you are a virgin and that he is not; therefore there will be certain expectations that he wants from you. Your virginity is a precious gift that you can only give once, so my advice would be not to give it up to this guy who changes the way he acts based on whether your out with people or alone; but save it for someone who is special to you and appreciates you. In my opinion, i would say that this guy is just toying with your feelings/emotions so that he can get what he wants. But at the end of the day it is your decision to make. I hope my advice has helped you in some way and i wish you all the best.
Charley :)
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 Please talk to him.
I know you would like to believe sleeping with him will make things better, but he may see you as easy if you do, and may use you. By posting this question here, you have already assured your doubts. Don't do it.
Best of luck xx
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