A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, been lurking here, and have seen all the questions on penis size. I know these get asked a thousand times, but I have another one, sorry. I have never been insecure about my size before, but I am with a girl who was with a guy much, much bigger than me before...about 9" from the sound of it. I am about 5.5-6 and about 5.5 around. She says I am "perfect" and better than he was by far because he was too big, but I can't help but feel like a toothpick compared t his baseball bat. I'm glad I have some girth, but wish the length was more. I've read that the nerves and G-spot are only a few inches inside the vagina, but then you read about women having more powerful orgasms from a big one, or loving the feeling of being filled. So is my length enough to please a woman who's been with a guy who could go all the way in? What feeling might she be missing with me since I can't reach as deep? Any positions make it "feel" deeper?
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g-spot, insecure, orgasm, penis size, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 I agree with the anon male reader who says " bigger is better " is a culturally influenced perception, which varies according to times and locations.
Does anybody have in mind the David statue by Michelangelo ? The one in Florence ? It's world famous but if you don't know it look it up on the Internet and you'll see this perfect, muscular, six packed beautiful naked male body.
With a rather small endowement, in proportion.
Being that this statue was also meant to be a tribute to the perfection of male body ( btw, Michelangelo was an enthusiastic homosexual so he knew what he was talking about )... why the sculptor gave him a small penis ? Was he short of marble ?
No. It was because for all the Renaissance the ideal of
male sexuality was a shorter penis. Bigger was mentally associated with lowly peasants and Moorish slaves = stinky, rough , uncouth people that do not know how to please a gentlewoman and just inflict discomfort with their animalistic large tool.
And if you think that the Renaissance women were frigid or naive- read the Decameron with all its naughty novels and you'll change your mind. They knew how to have a great time in bed.
Sex is in the brain,indeed.
Anyway - as the OP noted, penis questions are very frequent on Dc and I am frankly getting exhausted to repeat what the posters could find checking out any medical textbook, or the results of tons of sexual studies about this matter , which all deny ground for this preoccupation with size. I'll try tackling another angle instead :
suppose- just suppose - your penis were actually shorter than the ideal.
Then, what are you gonna do ?
Exchange it ? Wear an artificial prothesis over it ? Abstain from sex for the rest of your life ? ....
Not really.
The only sensible thing you could do would be to get over
yourself, learn to use well what you have got , include non-genital contacts in your lovemaking- relax and enjoy !
A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (29 March 2011):
"The AFE zone is located at or near the deepest point on the anterior wall of the vagina, above the cervix, where the anterior wall of the vagina starts to curve upward (the entrance to the anterior fornix, but some websites and news articles have described it as being on the posterior wall of the vagina, roughly opposite of the G-spot. Dr. Chua Chee Ann stated in an interview that this is completely wrong [1] . Some believe that this area may be a different erogenous zone altogether."This is what I was talking about, from what I understand you would need long fingers or a member of 7-8 to reach that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): "there definitely are deeper pleasure zones that are supposed to be mind blowing,"Really?I'm medically qualified and I can tell you that pleasurable sex is in the head where the ears and brain are.Some women get off on big cocks, like some men get off on big breasts, but masturbation alone in the bedroom is not sex with a lover.Some women like guys with a big head of hair, some like them otherwise.But, nobody knows what a particular woman (or man) likes better than a confident dedicated lover, to whom she is also dedicated and with whom she feels confident.There is one unquestionable certain big advantage to having a big (at least longer) penis. You can give yourself a blow job if you want to. Really, you could. Most of us average guys couldn't hope to unless we were contortionists.I'm not interested in that, although if I were single and couldn't get any, I'd have to think about that. But, being an average sort of guy in the endowment area, I find that average, really hot, not so hot, younger, older, same aged, and all sorts just like to have someone make love to them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): To be honest I always find it easier and more satisfying to orgasm from clitoral stimulation anyway.. Penis isn't everything!
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A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (29 March 2011):
These people are all right OP, the only fault I can find is that no one took the time to fully answer your question. One poster offered a better position, none offered the sensation she may be missing. I don't buy that business about the vagina stretching to accommodate any size, there definitely are deeper pleasure zones that are supposed to be mind blowing, I'm not medically qualified to offer an opinion or that and am also average size so I cant testify on having hit a girls deepest. Before you people bitch about having to answer a penis size question think about how few of them actually get answered. Reflect on your experiences with a big guy if your a woman, and HONESTLY reflect on your experiences with a girl if you are well endowed. Maybe I'm just naive to ask such earnestness from people on an anonymous advice website.
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A
female
reader, frou frou  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 I don't like men that are too big, it can be uncomfortable.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): Why is "bigger better" in your own mind?Ancient Greeks thought smaller penises were more attractive, I've read that ancient Romans felt the opposite way.This modern guy just likes his the way it is.What if we started a trend with men thinking that if your penis wasn't curved to the right it couldn't be as good for the woman, or curved up, or curved down, or just name what it is about what it looks like or smells like or is circumcised or not.Bigger is not always better, thicker is not always better, and longer is not always better. What can be better is the lover, and the relationship, and the feeling someone gives you (or that you get from yourself about them) when they make love to you, or hold you, or hug you, or bring you coffee in the morning.It isn't the penis, its the dick attached to the penis (pardon my pun).My spouse has had a lot of lovers before me, many bigger, many smaller, and yet nobody was able to give her an orgasm, or make her feel the way that I make her feel.Why? Well, it sure isn't my penis size.Hint: Don't forget, the penis is much large than the tongue, and the tongue is the best thing for the clitoris.Perhaps I should write down 10 reasons that large penises are not an asset. Here's one.PS: Have you ever worked naked around farm machinery? Supposing you like to do this, you'd find that a large penis is much more likely to get caught in it and ripped off.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 You should ask your woman what she feels. Oh no wait, she already told you! Well then, not to be rude, but why don't you believe her?
It was utterly silly of her to ever tell you about her ex's penis. Women need to stop doing that as the only result is you guys getting freaked out over it and walking around comparing and obsessing. So, Im sorry for your part that she's put you through this unnecessary thought process. And the even harder part is yet to be gone through: you need to get over this and not let it bother you any longer!
Do you think you can get over this and let it go and TRUST in your womans words? She thinks YOU ARE PERFECT.
Excuse me then, but doesn't perfect mean just that? Perfect? Does perfect mean inadequate, not enough, unsatisfying, too little, short, toothpicky etc?
Some women like bigger dicks. But you're not sleeping with some women, you have a very particular one in bed with you at night that thinks your dick is perfect. So who cares what you read someplace online? Do you think your woman will read it and go "oh no, I guess Ive been wrong to get satisfied by his penis, I should complain about it instead"?
Did you ask your woman if she wants to feel you deeper in her? Or do you just think that that's what she needs? What about consulting her first with what she wants before you assume that she wants this or that...?
Best of luck to you, because really this is about you feeling insecure, and not about what your woman is pleased by. She already told you she is pleased didn't she? So this fear is all inside of your head, it's not a problem unless you let your fears take complete control. Try to control it and not obsess about it or let your insecurity win over rational thought.
A few words on the vagina to sum it all up: the vagina stretches and shrinks to accommodate a penis. It doesn't stay a fixed size. That means that your penis can reach all the same spots that a large penis can, in the unlikely case that your penis, and his penis, were anything close to each other in terms of shape and curve.
To assure you, even though what your woman tells you should matter tons more than what strangers online say, you are giving your woman a different experience than she had with her ex. It is different, and so incomparable.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (28 March 2011):
Its all in the head dude on both size male/female. No your 5 in want really do anything for her if you keep thinking like that. Its very intimidating for me as well and I larger then you. But theirs many ways to make up for it. Stop worrying about your sizes and concentrate on how to get her into you, regardless of your size at some point you'll feel small to her. Just deal with it like the rest of us and be happy.
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A
female
reader, Aliceinunderland  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 Your size is perfectly average. Its not about the size, it's about how you use it!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 March 2011):
 Whew! I was so worried we'd get through this day without having a penis question...and OP have her get on top.
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