A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I've been thinking all this while about my current boyfriend, who is 31years old. I am 23. Let me brief you all before i ask for help here. So, my current bf used to be my ex-boss in my previous company where I worked. He casually asked me out for a date once, and that's how we proceeded ahead. Days went by and we started sharing that chemistry together. Instantly everything was going fine, except the fact that he had a girl in his team, who used to be my best friend and cheated on me. Afterwards, we stopped talking. I meet my bf every weekend whenever we get time. Recently, he went to Philippines, met his ex-girlfriend there and had sex with her. Now, when he came back, he told me everything. He was quite honest, so I forgave him. However, it still didn't end here. These days when I asked him why has he changed as he didn't call or text me much after that. He would always say that he was busy except the last night when he uttered that he felt our relationship was going smooth and it's only one thing that disturbs him, which is our future and SEX.On that I would also like to tell that I'm a virgin. He is not. He's had sex a lot of times, which makes me little insecure about having sex with him. Moreover, it's just been 6 months to our relationship. Now I'm confused about a lot of things which I feel to have insight upon. Such as my best friend, who is in his team and sometimes visit his place with other team mates for parties and is quiet after him from a long time. Another concern is what he did when he went to Philippines. He said that he did it not in alcohol's influence. But he never told me the sequence or the exact story why it happened. Thirdly, we would always make love to each other in other ways except having sex, as I feel I'm still insecure. So, my point is :-Am i dating the right man?Can he cheat me if we don't commit to each other?Will it be too early to have sex with him? What if he leaves me?He is an amazing person as far as I know, but he says physical intimacy is important to him.Or, Am i thinking too much into the story?And, what about our future, which is as difficult as he says?Any help would do.I would be really grateful to you all.!Thank you.
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best friend, cheated on me, ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2015): Hello lovely people there!
Thank you all for giving me insight on this mess, he created in my life. However, I don't know how to get rid of him, as I truly loved him & he cheated on me by sleeping with his ex.
I would not let him ruin me more and would dump him.
Heart-felt thanks to you all, for your help.!
:)
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 January 2015):
 He is nasty. Sorry, a guy who thinks ALL he has to do is CONFESSED that she screwed another women and then CONTINUE to see you is NASTY.
YOU can do SO much better.
If you HAVE sex with him, he will cheat - if you continue to date and NOT have sex he will CONTINUE to cheat.
He isn't a keeper AT all.
He KNEW he was going to met his ex in the Philippines and HAVE sex with her (if she was willing, my guess is they communicate a LOT so he KNEW she was willing) - he didn't tell you that BEFORE he left. But he "confessed" afterwards to get you to think YOU HAVE to sex with him. Or get you think HE is a GOOD guy for telling. HE isn't.
Honey, look for a DECENT guy, someone who will RESPECT you and love you. Not like that dude. What a creep.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2015): Little angel, run. Everything you told about him is saying that He is a dick. He is trying to manipulate you. He is not going to commit and be sincere to you. Moreover, he doesn't have any respect for you or your relationship, otherwise he won't be sleeping around with his ex like a testosterone charge dog...
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 January 2015):
 OP everything in your story tells me that you shouldnt be having sex with this guy....ever! He's insincere, he's a manipulative older man who knows you're naive and can be fooled easily, he's pressuring you for sex, he's sleeping around with ex'es behind your back and just because he tells you about it doesn't mean that he's right!
If I were you, I would run for the hills.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (26 January 2015):
Sorry, but i think he is absolutely capable of cheating on you. What sort of a guy goes and sleeps with another girl while still being with someone else. Its good that he was honest, but was he apologetic about it?
It's not worth it if you have to do something against your will. Having sex or not is your choice. If he can't respect that and wait for it, he is not the guy for you. Don't get pressurized into doing so, just to maintain your relationship. And you aren't completely zoning him out, you do make out right? So even after that, if this is how he is going to be, i'm sorry but i think you should dump his ass.
It's not worth it. And honestly by the sound of it, your future only seems to be "difficult" because he doesn't want to commit.
You shouldn't do anything you aren't ready for. Make the right choice for yourself. No amazing person would make you feel uncomfortable.
Take care and good luck
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (26 January 2015):
 Honestly, he's shown he doesn't care enough about you to ONLY want to be with you, so that won't change if you do have sex with him.
One statement to answer all of your questions: he's not the right guy.
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