A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a long-term, long-distance relationship for almost 6 years. I am finishing college this june and don't know what path to take next. I am very ambitious and have big career goals. My boyfriend has a well-paid but unstable job that requires him to move around the UK every 2/3 years. I don't know if I should try to make it work with my boyfriend (who is my childhood sweetheart and first love) or break up. If I move to him now it could work, but then he will need to move again and I will be left with no family/friends in the area and if I want to be with him properly my career/job opportunities are limited because not many enable me to move around every few years.I love my boyfriend completely and we have been together through a lot of really hard times. He is perfect in so many ways and ultimately I see myself marrying him. I just don't know what to do with the years in between now and settling down etc.I love to travel and would love a job that enabled me to live abroad for a while.Another important part of this story is that I moved to Paris as part of my university degree last year. It was very stressful on my relationship and we broke up briefly for 5 weeks. I met a guy and we became very close. I got back together with my boyfriend but remained close with the other guy. We spent a lot of time together and he told me he wanted to be with me. To say I have no feelings for this other guy would be a lie.My boyfriend is the guy I really love but the distance and only seeing each other every 5/6 weeks is starting to take its toll and I don't know if I can carry on a long distance relationship even though the thought of not being with him anymore is torture.Should I stay with my boyfriend, move to be with him and risk not having the career I want or break up and focus on myself and my career for a while? also the other guy (who has recently entered into a new relationship) said he still loves me and he would choose me over any girl.Im not sure if its the excitement and lust that attracts me to him or if anything real could come of it.So should I stay with my boyfriend and try make it work with him?/move to France and see what happens with the other guy (and work there because I love Paris)/ be completely single for a while and focus on myself and my career? :/
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (26 January 2015):
 Nobody would be able to tell you to risk your career and move, or not. That is completely your own choice and affects YOUR life only. I think I can safely say that long distance is not your strong suit and is probably not adhesive in your relationship. If you've already found yourself in the trouble of picking one guy over the next, then how can you expect to to not continue having this trouble over the the next few years? That tells me, being with him long distance is probably not on your option list because you are not able to do it with 100% loyalty. So that leaves you options A. Move with him every time he relocates, and B. break up. Can you have a career at all if you move as frequently as he does? You said you want to travel, is traveling with him an option in your field? Are you willing to place your goals on hold until he is done moving? Do you trust that once his needs have been fulfilled, he will then help to fulfill yours? You BOTH need to accomplish your goals in life, and if one of you keeps the other from doing so, there WILL resentment and shrapnel. In fact, should you be with anyone at all, if you plan on traveling? Are you ready for another long distance relationship with a different man? These are just questions to be considered, because I really can't tell you what's best for you. ~Sy
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2015): Do you think being with your boyfriend will worth sacrifying your career ? Will you live the life you dreamed about ?
Just imagine you decide to move with your bf, and hence sacrify your career. What will you do if somehow it doesn't work ? Things can go wrong and not be like you expected. And then you'll have no career (the one you aimed anyway) nor relationship.
Personnally, I need my independance.
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