A
female
age
30-35,
*upiedet
writes:the furtherest i have gone with a guy is sexual contact...will i be judged for being scared to sleep with the guy...will i be judged if i get pregnant...will i be judged if i go on the pill...?the frightening thing is if the condom splits... OMG this is so scary...!!
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condom, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (19 August 2008):
 The only thing that matters is what you think, what others think is completely irrelevant. Never ever feel pressured into doing something that you are not comfortable doing, and if a guy does push you or pressure you then get rid of him because you are worth more than that. relax, take things in your stride and stop worrying to much.
All the best x
A
female
reader, Umari Solanthus +, writes (19 August 2008):
 As others have said: it's your body and you decide what to do with it. If you don't feel ready to sleep with a guy, then don't. The absolutely last thing you need to do is sleep with a guy before you are ready. If you're scared still, then you're not ready and should wait. There's no rush for that. You could spend more time just doing foreplay and enjoying each other's company, getting used to one another physically and getting to know one another before taking that step.And the most important thing is to talk. Talk to your partner (do you have one right now?), and see what he thinks. If he is a decent guy, then he will understand your feelings and wait for you to be ready, and help you overcome your fear by the methods I just mentioned, or backing off if you're uncomfortable.Any guy who pressures you into it is wrong. And any peer who judges you harshly for not doing it is also wrong.The fact that you worry about pregnancy and the condom splitting is a good thing: it shows that you are thinking seriously about the more important things involved when having sex: the risk of pregnancy and disease. And I'm sure you know there are other methods available to help prevent pregnancy--the pill, morning after pill, injections, etc, etc. Research and learn more about them.Perhaps you should consider browsing the internet for sites that talk about sex, or ask more questions on here. These sites, and agony aunts like ourselves, would be more than willing to talk about it and help you understand more, and to give you advice on how to overcome your fear.But do not worry about being judged. Peers may deem you 'weird' or 'unpopular' if you do not sleep with a hot guy right away, but, on the other side of the coin, they could also deem you 'slut' if you do. In the end, while the judgements may come and may be harsh, it is your decision that counts most of all, and as long as you make that decision when you are ready, then you've done it right.So research a little more, talk about it with your mother or close friends who have experience, and learn the full extent of what sexual intercourse involves. It may ease your mind a little. Just do not let yourself be pressured into it. If you don't want to do it, don't. If you do, then do. It's YOUR choice at the end of the day, and no one has the right to judge you or decide for you.Hope that helps.Umari.
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A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 Oh, hon. Your body, your rules. Don't do ANYTHING you're not comfortable with. And if the guy you're with won't wait until this is something that YOU want, then he's thinking with the wrong head and you should dump him.
Find someone who cares enough about you to wait until you're ready, and screw what anyone else thinks. You're worth it!!!
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (19 August 2008):
 You shouldn't care what people think of you, they should have respect for you for going on the pill or buying condoms so they shouldn't judge you because you're doing the right thing.
The condom is something like 99% effective so it shouldn't split and if on the very rare occasion that it did then you can just get the morning after pill
Go at your own pace, do not feel pressured to sleep with him and don't listen to other people, since i can remember i used to tell people that i wouldn't have sex until i was 16 and people had A LOT of respect for that.
Good luck, don't worry too much, i'm sure everythnig will go fine and don't feel pressured!
=]
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