A
female
age
36-40,
*it kat
writes:I met this guy at work and he was interested in me a lot bcuz he started talking to me and he told me he was in the process of a divorce. Little by little he mentioned to me several times that he loved me. I fell deeply in love with him and we would always go out to eat or to the movies a lot even though he was still living with his wife and driving her car and picking me up in her car. He told me several times that he wanted to marry me and to have his kids. A lot of time passed and we was always intimate and either talking on the phone or texting each other and he would tell me that he really loved me and wanted to be with me. Nine months later he is still married and still driving her car but he has moved out into an apartment with his homeboy but he insists that he don't want to let me go but over the time he has spent a lot of money on me. Did he ever love me and does he still love me?
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at work, divorce, money, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (20 December 2009):
Hang on... he said he was getting divorced when you met him, and he HAS moved out of the house right? Well that's a step in the right direction.
Can you talk to him and tell him you are really uncomfortable that he's still married and ask him when he plans to file for divorce? Sometimes divorce takes a long time to work out the details, etc. Does his wife know they are divorcing?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): There is actually a post on here about a mile long full of women talking about how they love or have loved married men, most of them met at work and how the men NEVER leave their wives. It's never going to happen. He just wants to have a good time with you and the security of a wife at home.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 December 2009):
Married men rarely divorce their wives. And even if he did, he would probably just use you like he is now. Break it off now, before you end up deeply hurt.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 I agree that married men are bad news. Its bad enough when a man has children with someone else. You do not know him well enough. There are things going on that are unclear. Why is he driving her car? Are they still being intimate? Why has he moved? Has he moved away from her?
There are occasions where a marriage is not working and a man needs to move on. Do not see him any more until he can show you the divourse papers. He probably does have feelings for you and does not to be with you and it may well work. How will it look at work when everyone finds out that YOU destroyed a marriage? Its always the women's fault - NEVER the man! Lots to think about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but he's using both you and his wife. I'm guessing he's using his wife financially, and you as a mistriss on the side. Men like this never leave their wives no matter how much they tell you they love you and that they want to be with you. They want to live out their fantasy but they don't have the balls to make it a reality and its honestly because they can get away with it. You don't want to be in a relationsip like that, especially because in the process he is not only hurting you, but you and him are hurting his wife. My advice to you is take some time to get over this hrd relationship, and then find yourself a good man who will treat you like the jewel you are. I'm sorry I know thats hard to hear, but its better you hear it now then ten years down the road when you are still with him. I send all my best wishes your way. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (20 December 2009):
 People do strange things when they're going through a separation or divorce, including screwing around with other people's emotions. If he really wanted to be with you he would have done something about it by now, like making proper plans with you to show some sort of commitment. Actions always speak louder than words. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (20 December 2009):
 First of all, any man that uses his wife's car to pick up his girlfriend is trifling. Why doesn't he have his own vehicle? He's already proven himself to be a liar and a cheater, so it would be in your best interest to assume that anything that comes out of his mouth is not true.I think he's using his homeboy's apartment as a place to hook up with you; if he's still driving his wife's car, more than likely he's still living at home. What woman would let a man who has moved out continue to use her vehicle?
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (20 December 2009):
 I dont think you should be involved with a married man, your probably gonna get hurt if hes doing this to his current wife what do you think will happen when and if he marries you.My opinion break it off untill he breaks off his marriage. as for your question hes the only one that can answer that
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