A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why would an older guy like a much younger girl? I'm concrned for my younger sister who is a freshman at 14, dating a senior at 18. I told her no good will come of it, but she isn't listening. If someone could help me to understand why he was so interested in her, I'd feel much better about the situation. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 Just because hes 18 doesn't mean he just wants to use her.
When i was 14 my boyfriend was 18 and everyone said hes just with you for sex but hes the most caring boy you could ever meet and we are still together and in love.
Girls mature alot faster than boys so its natural to go for someone who is older but doesn't run around being immature.
Don't judge this boy because of his age, he might really love you sister. Just support her, its all you can do.
Livia
xxx
A
female
reader, KorR?whotochoose +, writes (16 April 2009):
this is so common.......but, asking if he's there for the wrong reasons, will get you nowhere.......he may love her, or he may be using her.......that's like asking if any guy, regardless of the age difference is in it for the right reasons.......some will be, and some will just be users, really age has nothing to do with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): The age difference from 18 to 14 is, frankly, huge. Too much happens in those years. The 18 y.o. guy is most likely immateur. I can't imagine a well-adjusted 18 year old being right for a 14 year old. Yes, you sister might very well be old for her age and be very mature. But still, the chances of it being 'right' for her to be with an 18 year old? More likely the guy has issues.
All that said, all you can really do is be there for your sister.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 Perspectives on this might change depending on where you are from, or how old you are. When I was a teen-ager, which was not that long ago but was indeed before the mere concept of "statutory rape" existed, relationships between minors with an age gap of four years were very common. I am sure they still are.
So, seen from my perspective, there does not NEED to be anything particularly wrong in an 18 year old male being the boyfriend of a 14 year old guy. There could be something very bad, but that can happen to anyone and their ages are irrelevant.
I do believe that in modern times an 18 year old guy is very different from a 14 year old girl. From a recent post in this site, I learned that this is a very inappropriate relationship in the United States. So perhaps that you should tell your sister.
Are you sure the age gap is all that bothers you?
She could be interested in him because he might be a good guy. Some food for thought: Have you noticed that there are many people who are interested in other people, despite big age gaps?
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A
female
reader, chrissy121005 +, writes (16 April 2009):
My ex was 18 while i was 15 and he was abusive, and EVERYONE told me to leave him. They were all concerned and I lied about my relationship.If i had listend before i wouldnt have gotten hurt, but at the same time im glad i did, cuz in my future, this experince will help.even though u might not like it, she has to learn her lesson her own way.
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A
male
reader, CrazyMind +, writes (16 April 2009):
 Nobody except him can tell you his true motives for the relationship. It could be that he wants to have hooked up with a younger girl, but then it could equally be that he truly loves her - I'm 18 myself and go out with a girl who turns 15 tomorrow. For me and my girlfriend, it's because we love each other to death!
You need to work out if he's genuine, talk to your sister, and just keep an eye on the relationship. If things seem to be turning sour; if he's demanding things or being oppressive and controlling, then step up to him yourself; but don't do so without true cause - trying to drive two people apart often causes them to bond closer, taking a stance not to separate due to your wishes.
I hope this helps,
- Crazy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): 1)Sex
2)Wanting to mold a woman into what he wants
3) He just likes younger women. Women his age are either too sarcastic, frigid (in the later years), and/or some of them just don't have a sense of humor.
Every guy is different. No one on here is going to be able to tell you this guy's specific motives, purely based on his age. They would have to know him very well to know his motives.
One of my former friends when he was 22 he was dating a 16 year old. It worried me, because if something happened, I knew that I could be held accessory to the fact. Well she is 18 now, and they are still dating, and they both love each other very much.
My husband is about four or five years older than me.
You need to learn about people and body language. If you ask him yourself what his motives are, despite what he says you could possibly tell how he really is through his body language. This would freak your sister out, but at least it would ease your mind. Don't torture the guy, but just ask him, person to person, what he hopes to gain from this, and what can your sister gain from this. Ask him what he has in common with her.
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A
female
reader, Discover me +, writes (16 April 2009):
Okay honey 4 years isn't that bad. It seems like alot becuz she's still in highschool. My older BROTHER is 15 he just turned 15. His gf is 17 going to be 18. 3yrs but u c she is the sweetest girl ever she is even going on our family vacation. Idk anything about her bf but of he's as nice as my brothers gf then just let it slide. Btw they been dating to almost a year.
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